He replied back:

Perry,

I’m fed up of receiving emails like these. Actually I’m fed up of being on lists like these. Actually, what I’m really fed up with is still needing to be on lists like these..

I’ve done more things than I can even remember, including the Internet Marketing Advanced Mentoring program, being a Google Advertising Professional. I’ve been on Tellman and Shaun’s List Pro’s program, I’ve had a lame attempt at Frank Kern’s Mass Control, and yes, for a short while I was even on Perry Marshall’s Bobsled run, gladiator club etc.. [but whilst working for a company other respected people have interestingly described as utterly dysfunctional]

I’ve been a Royal Marines Commando, a computer technician, and IT manager, a Chief Technology Officer, and have run my own business moderately successfully – I LOVE technology, and LOVE the internet – it’s an amazing tool. I’m also a member of Mensa – but feel really dumb sometimes.

How can a relatively smart guy, still be getting it so wrong? How come I’m not rich? In fact, not only am I not rich, I’m flat broke now.

What can a broke bloke do – who won’t give up, but if he’s honest – can’t truthfully see what he’s getting wrong? Over the past couple of years, I’ve spent well over $100k pursuing Internet Marketing success. And failed.

Here’s the thing – of all the guys I’ve paid attention to, like Bob Proctor, Paul Martinelli, Frank Kern, Tellman Knudson, the Stomper.net guys, Rich Shefren, and some less well known ones.. – you seem to be the most sensible – kind of ‘real’. I’m not actually sure what it is, even though it’s recognizable.

Perry – is there a chance you would do a deal – something along the lines of ‘I promise to do *exactly* what you tell me – and pay you most of the money I earn until the cost of training is covered’. (This doesn’t mean I’m docile by any means – I’m relentlessly enthusiastic and love to create and do and learn.. and challenge.. and explore..)

You’re probably laughing – I know that sounds insane, and you probably get asked that all the time. But I’m really not your ordinary guy – you can ask my friends :^)

I will do whatever it takes – I just don’t know what that is right now.. but I do think you can help.

Well, hopefully this will reach you Perry. Hopefully you won’t laugh too hard..

Best regards,

[Mr. X]

Wow. I seldom get emails that honest.

Even so, this sort of thing is at least somewhat more common than most of us would like to admit.

I wanted to talk to him on the phone and see if I could figure out what the problem was. I had Denise set up a 15 minute appointment for us to talk.

And my, what a fascinating conversation we had.

You can click to listen to it here (12 minutes), or read the transcript below:

$100K & Nothing to Show For It_- MP3 Download

Transcript of “$100,000 and nothing to show for it”

Perry: Hello Mr. X, how are you doing today?

Mr. X: I’m doing great, thank you. I hope you’re expecting my call?

Perry: Yes, I am.

Mr. X: Good.

Perry: So what would you like to accomplish today?

Mr. X: Well, actually I was really surprised to read the reply from you and Denise, that you were curious as to why I hadn’t achieved success, especially with my background.You’re very kind, which I really appreciate, by the way, Perry. I know you’re very, very busy, but your kind office talked to me and that kind of spurred me into figuring out exactly what was really going on.

Perry: Okay, that’s part of the goal, I guess.

Mr. X: Well, I think I’ve done it. I don’t think it’s anything more complicated than I just haven’t stuck with anything long enough for it to become successful. I realize that I love learning. I love exploring. Technology has always fascinated me, and I’ve done so many things.

I think that’s the problem. I just do so many things and I haven’t really focused on one thing and then disciplined myself to stick with it, because you know what it’s like on the internet. We can find things that in the moment is the best thing, but then you know a month later there’s going to be something that’s better.

I cannot keep glomming onto the latest and the greatest, and it’s just been killing me for years. So actually I’m being spurred on by this conversation. I looked around and then I just chose something that fitted all my kind of qualities and all my passions, and I just made a decision, and it was a huge relief to do that.

It’s kind of like all the problems just disappeared. It seems really, really good. I made up my mind that this is it and I’m just going to stick it. No changing until it works. I think that was it really, as crazy as it sounds.

Perry: Do you have this pattern in other areas of your life?

Mr. X: Yes.

Probably in all of them, including two marriages and lots of jobs.

It’s when the challenge isn’t there, when I’m not learning anymore and there’s nothing new, I kind of move on. It’s neat to learn, to be constantly stimulated. I love exploring stuff. I love learning new things, not because of the outcome, just because of the learning experience.

Of course that isn’t getting me what I want. It’s not getting me the results in terms of income and fulfillment and satisfaction, so I’m going to stop doing that, I think. I’m anxious to know what you think.

Perry: Well, obviously I don’t know you at all, but it sounds like a pretty coherent interpretation of what’s going on. I think driving your stake into the ground and being not just willing but even interested in driving that stake deeper and deeper and deeper is a really rewarding thing.

Maybe you could relate to something that I do. I mean I’m just like you and everybody else. I think that probably people who are on my email list and newsletters and different things are all like that. They’re curious. That might be one of the biggest things right there, curious, intellectually stimulated, active, thinking, exploring people, right?They’ve all got a touch of ADD. I mean that’s just normal. I’m the same way. That’s why we’re all attracted to each other.

The whole Google AdWords thing, that’s a stake that I’ve just pounded into the ground deeper and deeper and deeper.

Some of it’s admittedly even a certain degree of paranoia, like this is a good identify to have in the world and I don’t want to lose it, so let’s see what else can we do here? “Oh okay, I think I’ll publish a bookstore book.” Well, that took a year, more than that actually, and now we’re doing a second edition.

So that’s the stake, and I’m like married to it, right? I’m married to it. But on the other hand, I’m constantly exploring all kinds of other things and talking about all kinds of other things too. They all just eventually circle back around, so that it’s still consistent.

I mean if you go read my blog over the last three months, there’s some rabbit trails that go very, very far into all kinds of other areas, so I guess all I’m saying is you can do both.You can be completely committed to one thing and you can just make sure that all of the other things that you explore somehow connect or support the first thing.

I think that’s a pretty good success formula for building something long term, yet not getting bored.

Mr. X: Yeah, and I think that’s what’s been missing really, because I’ve done the exploring thing in widely different contexts. It’s not just technology, it’s been genetics and science and physics – because all these things fascinate me and I’m very fortunate to be pretty smart at a lot of these things – but there’s been no common connection.I’ve just been jumping all over the place, whereas like you said, with a commitment to like a central stake and hooking up these other things within the context of that and looking for that connection, that’s the thing that’s been missing, so I’ve just been all over the place really.

What I’ve really seen in the past couple of weeks is I’ve just sat back and really thought about what’s been going on – you know, looked back at my life really, looked for the patterns, like you said.

The first thing I thought is like, “Where is this happening in my life? It’s happening everywhere actually.”

Perry: I want to ask a favor of you. When the call started I turned on the MP3 recorder, because I’m just in the habit of doing that for consulting calls. How would you feel if I edited it such that nobody could tell your identity and use your email that you originally sent and this and post it, because I think a lot of people struggle with this.

Mr. X: Oh, I’m sure it’s a massive problem. It’s easy to see that.

Perry: Yeah, and it’s exacerbated by kind of the Hollywood values of the world. It’s like boy falls in love with girl, they live happily ever after, and it only took an hour and 43 minutes, right? And so life becomes this adrenaline addiction of sorts, and it’s just like one hit after another. It’s a form of addiction.

Mr. X: I think we get sucked into this, all this opportunity of the world, where we’re jumping from one opportunity to the next. Yeah, it’s a killer. It’s killed me.I actually came to see you, Perry, in Chicago. You did the boot camp thing the year before last. I was working for [employer] at the time. Of course he coaches a lot of people on success.

I built a very close relationship with him. I did all his programs and I think the biggest thing out of all the things that you can coach people on, the biggest thing is making that committed decision and sticking with it. It doesn’t matter what you do really, as long as it’s a smart sensible choice, it’s sticking with it.

It hit me between the eyes when I looked back. It’s exactly the one thing I haven’t been doing, because I get so excited with all this stuff because it just fascinates me. I love it, but there’s no longevity to it, you don’t get the option to become an expert or an authority or build a reputation. You’re just all over the place.

Perry: I think you’re right. When I was in high school, we read Walden by Henry David Thoreau. I don’t know if you’re familiar with that book.

Mr. X: I know the book. I’ve never read it though.

Perry: Thoreau had a lot of great things to say about a lot of things. One of the things that he said was, “As long as possible, live free and uncommitted.”I was not brought up in that mindset. We were like writing papers about this and discussing it in class, and I decided – I remember this, I was 17 – I kind of flipped that around and what I decided that I believed was, “As soon as possible, commit yourself to worthwhile things.”You know, that has been a very good mindset.

I put a guest editorial in my newsletter this past month by Dan Kennedy, where he was talking about how every entrepreneur looks across the fence at the other entrepreneurs’ grass and it’s greener, and we wish we were in some other business.

He was talking specifically about how before the banking crash, a lot of people were looking at their friends in real estate or Wall Street or whatever and going, “Those guys are making a killing, and I’m sitting here turning this crank. Yeah, I’m making money but it’s not really good,” right?

He was like, “Dude, it’s always messier and uglier close up than it is from far away.”

If you are in a bad business, then find a way to get out, but if you’re in a decent business, then make the decent business great.

Mr. X: Absolutely, yeah.

Perry: Well, this is awesome material. I’m glad that we talked today. What I’d like to do is I’ll have it transcribed and we’ll edit it and I’d like to put it out there for people to listen to.

Mr. X: Absolutely, because I’m sure there are a lot of people – I know there are because I’ve met a lot of them – who are in the same position. I don’t know what it is, but for me it was the prospect of the conversation with you that kind of spurred me really to just take that little extra step, and that’s all it took really. Yeah, it’s brilliant, so I want to thank you for that.

Perry: Well, good. I want to encourage you in what you’re doing. I hope to hear from you in a few months or something and let me know how you’re doing. I’ll definitely use this I think, for lots of people.

Mr. X: It’s actually great, and would make a great blog post. I love your emails. They’re about the best I get actually. I did as you said and unsubscribed from a lot of others, but I keep yours because they’re great.

Perry: Well, thank you. I love to hear that. I hope it continues to be worthy of people’s time.

Mr. X: Thank you for your time. I know how valuable it is. I really appreciate it.

Perry: Okay, Mr. X, thank you.

Mr. X: You have a great day.

Perry: You too.