Dysfunctions, Addictions & Financial Burning Bus, part 7
My own journey of purging my inner head trash (however much I’ve gotten rid of so far, anyway) took about 10 years. Let me give you a brief idea of what my head trash looked like when I was in high school:
“Whatever business you’re in, you should sell your product as cheaply as possible so as many people as possible can buy it”
“Cheap is a great virtue”
“When God made the world there was no work, but then Adam and Eve botched everything, so now we have to work by the sweat of our brow.” (My dad told me that when I was 5, complaining about pulling weeds in the garden.)
“I need someone to manage me, because I don’t have enough discipline to do the things I need to do” (My dad believed that and until I began to question it, I believed it too.)
“You spend 50 weeks a year toiling and you get 2 weeks of vacation. Then when your 2 weeks is over, back to the grindstone you go.”
“Any money you get from anyone was extracted from their own hard work, sweat and misery, so you should always feel a little bit guilty taking their dough.”
Maybe you’re starting to get the idea.
Can a person believe all those things and become a successful entrepreneur?
I sure don’t think so. There are deep lies embedded in all these statements. Even in the Adam & Eve story, the man has meaningful work to do long before anything ever gets screwed up. Most of this stuff just rolls around in peoples’ heads, unexamined.
Over a very long period of time including lots of baloney sandwiches and ramen soup, I was sort of forced to confront all of these beliefs. But does it really need to take 10 years?
Plus there’s an even deeper problem that I think a LOT of people struggle with: A deep inner sense of unworthiness.
The best way I know how to describe it is “The Orphan Spirit.” It’s not merely an idea, it’s an identity. It’s jammed deep, deep into who and what many people believe they really are.
The Orphan Spirit says:
“I live in a world of What Have You Done For Me Lately. I better get busy.”
“I have to earn everything that comes my way, because if I ever have anything I don’t deserve, it makes me an even worse person than I already am.”
“Nobody really wanted me in the first place and nobody’s gonna give me anything. There’s always a payback, sooner or later.”
“The only person I can ultimately trust is ME.”
“And I’m not even sure I can trust me. As a matter of fact, I know I can’t trust me.”
“I’m truly alone in the world and I have to fight for everything I get and nobody loves me just for who I am.”
All the misconceptions about work are one thing. But the Orphan Spirit isn’t something you can just ‘figure out’ because it’s deeper. It’s identity level stuff.
I know that almost all entrepreneurs struggle with these beliefs because when I’m paying really close attention, these beliefs come out in peoples’ conversations all the time.
In order for lasting life change to happen, you have to change yourself at an IDENTITY level. Your understanding of who you are has to become richer. This is why deep healing happens to us in a spiritual sense. It’s why talking to a therapist only gets you so far.
Laura and I and our friends started getting free from our identity-level garbage through the Sozo method and I couldn’t help but think, “There’s got to be a financial version of this.”
In February 2011 I was at Bethel in Redding California, where Sozo originated. I was talking to my friend Margaret who was a student there. I said to her, offhandedly, “I wish there was a financial Sozo, my customers really need it!”
She said, “Come with me!”
She took me to the bookstore and showed me a book by Stephen DeSilva called “Money and the Prosperous Soul.” She explained that he was the CFO, his wife had developed Sozo, and he was already working on this.
Months later, after pulling a bunch of strings (I’m a nobody in his world) I managed to get lunch with Stephen. As we talked we both grew more excited. He had just begun to do workshops and was writing more books and he very much wanted to bring this into the wider world.
Which was exactly what I wanted to do already. A match made in heaven. The June 1-2 event in Chicago was born.
So Stephen and his lovely wife Dawna are coming; I’ve arranged for Sozo facilitators for every attendee – and we’re going to get down to that identity level garbage that keeps you from accepting the incredible generosity, the alchemy of God.
Because everything you own, every gift you possess, and every good thing in the world is ultimately the result of God’s flourishing, abundant world and universe.
You just need to be ready to receive it.
When you’re not, you just sabotage yourself and go ’round in circles.
P.S. You can read parts 1-6 on my blog
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