Self Sabotage, Inner Head Trash & Christmas
Just this morning a guy told me how adding a simple upsell would have easily put tens of thousands of dollars in his pocket with 30 minutes of work. But he sat frozen in front of his computer, utterly unable to follow through on it.
It’s funny how many conversations I’ve had lately about “Inner Head Trash,” especially around Christmas.
He asked me, “How do you deal with this? Feel free to say anything you want to say, even if it’s from faith or whatever, cuz I’m sick and tired of this failure cycle.”
St. Luke tells the famous Prodigal Son story, where the kid tells his dad to screw himself, takes half the family’s money and spends it on wine women and song. He ends up working on a pig farm.
Finally he comes to the end of himself and goes back home. To his surprise, dad is watching for him. Dad RUNS to greet him, embraces him, puts a ring on his finger and throws a huge party.
I told the guy on the phone this morning: “The hardest part of that story is the son actually receiving his dad’s embrace. Most of us lock ourselves in a prison cell and punish ourselves instead.”
Francis Spufford humorously defined “sin” as HPtFtU = “Human Propensity to **** things Up.” Ain’t that the truth. I said: “This is not about what you DESERVE. Christmas is an ADOPTION story, not an orphan story.”
“When you’re an orphan, you sit down at a banquet. Then just before meal is served, you somehow screw everything up and wind up back begging for coins at the bus station. But when you’re a SON, you enjoy your banquet meal because your father gave it to you simply because he loves you. It’s not about deserving anymore.”
Yeah I know, Christmas gets all sentimental and sometimes it’s just “Season” for season’s sake. But for the eager estudiante on the phone, and hopefully for you, it’s a time when you begin to receive a free gift of acceptance.
When you truly understand that you’re not being blamed anymore… you stop punishing yourself too.
The guy I was talking to is young and bright. He’s also made some stupid mistakes. I said to him: “You have a DESTINY. That’s why this battle is about so much more than the immediate project you’re working on right now.
“This is about winning the battle against shame so that you can make the contribution to the world that HE created you to make. Letting go of shame isn’t this big giant effort. It’s just… LETTING GO.”
So it goes for you. Carpe Diem – Seize the Day.
Seize the Year.
“I’m a beggar, but I know where there’s bread. I’m a beggar, but now I’m so well fed.” -Bob Bennett