Self Sabotage, Inner Head Trash & Christmas

Just this morning a guy told me how adding a simple upsell would have easily put tens of thousands of dollars in his pocket with 30 minutes of work. But he sat frozen in front of his computer, utterly unable to follow through on it.

It’s funny how many conversations I’ve had lately about “Inner Head Trash,” especially around Christmas.

He asked me, “How do you deal with this? Feel free to say anything you want to say, even if it’s from faith or whatever, cuz I’m sick and tired of this failure cycle.”

St. Luke tells the famous Prodigal Son story, where the kid tells his dad to screw himself, takes half the family’s money and spends it on wine women and song. He ends up working on a pig farm.

Finally he comes to the end of himself and goes back home. To his surprise, dad is watching for him. Dad RUNS to greet him, embraces him, puts a ring on his finger and throws a huge party.

I told the guy on the phone this morning: “The hardest part of that story is the son actually receiving his dad’s embrace. Most of us lock ourselves in a prison cell and punish ourselves instead.”

Francis Spufford humorously defined “sin” as HPtFtU = “Human Propensity to **** things Up.” Ain’t that the truth. I said: “This is not about what you DESERVE. Christmas is an ADOPTION story, not an orphan story.”

“When you’re an orphan, you sit down at a banquet. Then just before meal is served, you somehow screw everything up and wind up back begging for coins at the bus station. But when you’re a SON, you enjoy your banquet meal because your father gave it to you simply because he loves you. It’s not about deserving anymore.”

Yeah I know, Christmas gets all sentimental and sometimes it’s just “Season” for season’s sake. But for the eager estudiante on the phone, and hopefully for you, it’s a time when you begin to receive a free gift of acceptance.

When you truly understand that you’re not being blamed anymore… you stop punishing yourself too.

The guy I was talking to is young and bright. He’s also made some stupid mistakes. I said to him: “You have a DESTINY. That’s why this battle is about so much more than the immediate project you’re working on right now.

“This is about winning the battle against shame so that you can make the contribution to the world that HE created you to make. Letting go of shame isn’t this big giant effort. It’s just… LETTING GO.”

So it goes for you. Carpe Diem – Seize the Day.

Seize the Year.

Perry Marshall

“I’m a beggar, but I know where there’s bread. I’m a beggar, but now I’m so well fed.” -Bob Bennett

About the Author

Entrepreneur Magazine says: "Perry Marshall is the #1 author and world's most-quoted consultant on Google Advertising. He has helped over 100,000 advertisers save literally billions of dollars in Adwords stupidity tax."

He is referenced across the Internet and by The New York Times, The Washington Post, USA Today, the Chicago Tribune and Forbes Magazine.

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Posted by Perry on December 26th, 2012. Filed in Marketing Blog. Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Follow responses thru Comments RSS. Follow responses thru Comments RSS.

Comments on Self Sabotage, Inner Head Trash & Christmas »

  • Barry D. says:

    Thanks, Perry. This is a timely post for me.

    Had a horrible year, down 25% from last year. Everything has been a struggle.

    At Christmas dinner, was saying that it had been a tough year and was glad that it was at an end.

    Went into work yesterday and found that the IRS had seized all the money in my bank accounts. Going in today to see what can be done short of laying off my entire staff.

    I will get through this, but this post spoke to me today of all days. Thanks.

  • Steve R says:

    > When you truly understand that you’re not being blamed anymore… you stop punishing yourself too.


    Although I’m a psychotherapist, and while much of my therapeutic approach is based on the above line, this line of yours “hit” me at just the right moment last night. The timing was just right for my next step along this way. It seems it never ends…

    Thank you for your words

  • Alexia says:

    Hi Perry,

    This is a lovely story and well timed. How we interpret what’s going on for us is in many cases more powerful than the thing that’s actually happening. But it’s not always easy to step out of the pooh we’re in to be able to think in any other way. I’m as guilty as the next person! Thanks for sharing!

  • Hi Perry

    I can so relate to what you wrote.

    We (my husband and I) went through hell in 2012 and up to today, with all sort of misfortunes and nothing working out in spite of our hard work and dedication. Every possible sale (real estate) went wrong, and we are on our last dime.

    We are in the process of getting rid of incredible rubbish in our heads and in our lives, and all of these constitute an immense spiritual battle.

    We are looking for Sozo in South Africa, and we just have to get around all the head trash keeping us from succeeding. Any other suggestions or reading material to recommend – we need all the help we can get?

    Thanks for your ever-so-wise and deeply God-centred insights.


    • Perry says:

      I’ll betcha there’s a Sozo ministry somewhere in Joberg, if you hunt hard enough. Contact Bethel in Redding, that’s a good start.

      God speed to you.

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