Got something for you to chew on, this fine Friday afternoon.
3 year olds don’t have much authority and we can all be thankful for that.
13 year olds think they should have a lot more authority than we give them and we can mostly be thankful that we keep ’em on a short leash.
But what about when we’re 27 or 39 or 63?
Most of us adults have plenty of authority, and….
…we’re afraid to use it.
We’re afraid to fire the employee who isn’t performing. Afraid to say no to the pushy time-share salesman. Afraid to tell our co-worker that the guy she’s dating is a total sleazebag. Afraid to step into the world and assert what we know, what we can do.
Yesterday I was talking to a customer who has achieved extreme mastery of a very specific problem. Knows how to treat it, how to solve it, literally world-class. Possibly even THE best specialist in her field. She knows the exact language her customers use, understands the conversation inside their head, can repeat it in her sleep.
She’s helped dozens of people solve this problem, yet when asked to step forward and promote herself to the Big Wide World, she says “I’m not a marketer. I wish someone else would do that part.”
I said to her, “You can say you’re not a marketer if you want, but if you know the conversation inside your customers’ head and you can speak their exact language and enter their inner world and send emails, that sure sounds like marketing to me.”
Hey babe, if that’s not marketing, I don’t know what is.
Touche – she had to agree.
And her customers *desperately* need what she’s got, I assure you.
So what is it that she’s afraid of?
She’s afraid of the same thing that MOST people are afraid of: To get in her customer’s face and say:
“Commit yourself to taking this journey with me, let me swipe your credit card, and step across the chasm and join me on the other side.”
That’s what she’s afraid of.
The thought of saying those words to a prospective customer keeps her awake at night. Every time she contemplates doing that she backs away, fearful. She thinks, “Maybe I should just go do something else.”
Yet it seems as though all her life has prepared her for…. THIS.
I think there are two kinds of people in the world:
1) People who have a screw loose inside their head and because of that loose screw, have NO fear of taking someone’s money. The proper term for such people is “psychopath” and the Internet is full of them.
2) People who have a screw loose inside their head and because of that loose screw, have TOO MUCH fear of taking someone’s money. Those are normal business owners who undervalue themselves and what they sell.
Which is to say, we’ve ALL got a screw loose somewhere, and life is a journey of trying to put the loose screws back where they belong.
I told her: “One of the things I like about direct marketing is: You can have all kinds of inner conflicts about selling, but on the Internet you make yourself put the pieces in place, you rehearse everything, you double and triple check, then you can push the button and send out the email. And once the button gets pushed, you’re not standing in the way to screw everything up.”
Which is exactly how I conquered my own sales demons. I would screw EVERYTHING up when I was a salesman. When I could finally just mail the letter or put up the web page, I suddenly had the ability to prevent myself from sabotaging myself.
So I told her, that is exactly what you should do to. Even if you have to pre-record the teleseminar (which is real easy by the way) – you set up the machine and turn it on.
And while you’re building the machine, every time you catch your inner demons sludging you up, you defy them and sooner or later you WILL get to the bottom of what’s holding you back.
Understand this:
EVERY time you expand your sphere of influence; every time you try to sell at a higher price than you’ve ever sold before; every time you go farther than your mom or dad ever went; every time you exercise your power and authority in a new way, those demons will haunt you.
Count on it.
But here’s the good news: after awhile, you figure out the pattern. Suddenly you re-interpret it:
“Hey wait a minute… I’ve been here before. This is exactly what it feels like when liberation is almost near.”
That’s the day you break the chain.
Strength and Honor,
Perry Marshall
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About the Author
Perry Marshall has launched two revolutions in sales and marketing. In Pay-Per-Click advertising, he pioneered best practices and wrote the world's best selling book on Google advertising. And he's driven the 80/20 Principle deeper than any other author, creating a new movement in business.
He is referenced across the Internet and by Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, INC and Forbes Magazine.
11 Comments on “Owning Your Authority”
Great post Perry! This is exactly the boost I needed today to get me over my own “fears” of taking the next step. I recall a blog post by Katie Freiling about how these fears are actually an addiction that we are training our body and mind to crave. It’s time for an intervention of your fears.
Thanks Perry
~Quinn
Thanks so much for this post, Perry. It gave me a great idea. I’ve written a one hour+ free workshop script. I’m going to record it and send people to my website, but first I’m going to re-do my website.
I’m also going to give this workshop live, but it gives me the jutters to make the initial calls, but I’m going to do it anyway.
I have the solution for the troubles between adults and kids, including the one about developing these fears you mentioned in your post.
It’s not a matter of supressing the 3-year-old or the 13 year old, it’s a matter of helping them keep their authority but in harmony with the others in their life. That way they grow up keeping their authority but they know how to use it in harmony with others.
This solution, I call it the Power of Respect, also prevents anyone from growing up with a loose screw, even the kind that doesn’t care. That is the result of getting stuck fighting for the right to have their authority, but not knowing how to have it in harmony with other.
This is my life work. I’m beginning to share it massively. Thanks for this opportunity to get something straight: let kids keep their authority, but demonstrate and show them how to maintain that authority in harmony with others…so many of humanity’s troubles would vanish.
Thanks again,
Karen Ryce
The Miracle Worker…of Education and Parenting
P.S. Please remember, my website needs work…
Hey, Perry,
going through my mail, there*s tons of it, and I*m definitely myself to ignoring most of it; however, yours stick out. I won*t say we speak the same language YET (seriously, ad-language makes me just go over utterly blank at this point; but then, ad-language is hardly *the point* to me, and it doesn*t need to be either, does it now?)
Read your blog on Owning Your Authority, and liked it a lot. Liked the email you sent where you encourage your clients to dump whatever is not performing up to their wishes and expectations; “bad influence” has been the topic of the day for me these past few days, and this has resonated. Thanks! I*ll keep on the look-out for more mail from you.
Cheers,
Romana V.
Good article. It brings out 2 important points, direct marketing also needs a sale to be asked in the end.
Even in direct response marketing don’t hold back – when you have managed to press the right buttons – ask for that sale.
Really nice post. I always hold back or scream in users face. I need to find that right mix of soft pitch and then asking for the sale at the right time.
“Authentic” and “authority” have the same root word: autos, Greek for “self.” Communicating with authenticity, from one’s own self, provides and promotes authority—the thing no law enforcement officer should be short of, on the street or in an interview.
Your post brings up an interesting point. Direct sales on the Internet requires a different kind of etiquette than traditional retail sales. The posturing is entirely foreign to those of us who are steeped in service-oriented selling of luxury goods.
I come from a family of retail entrepreneurs, and was taught from childhood that the one thing you cannot say too much to a customer is “Thank you.”
“Thank you for your time,” “Thank you for considering my goods,” “Thank you for making time to talk to me.” Etc., etc.
Those same two words kill Internet sales. If I use them at all, my customer perceives weakness and walks away!
Your observations, Perry, are right on target. Stepping out of one’s comfort zone is the first step. Un-learning old skill sets and replacing them with what I like to call “modern rudeness” is the next. The third step is depositing your money into the bank.
Briget Brennan, author of the new book “Why She Buys” does an excellent job of differentiating buying habits between men and women, indicating that of all categories, gender is the most important. There are many key points to be made and one is: Whether in face to face or on line Women are the force behind the “Thank You Note” -They want to send them, sometimes with gifts, and they want to receive them. Its a validation of the original purchase and the relationship established with the seller.Seems only men online don’t care one way or the other.
Pogo (if you are old enough to remember) said the same thing, “We have met the enemy and it is us.”
Excellent lesson. We all need to learn how to get out of our own way.
We should also be telling ourselves that by taking the prospect’s money we are doing them a great favor. If our product/service really solves their problem, they desperately want to give us their money. They have a pain that we can cure so it is our job to cure it.
And there will be times when they will not believe the cure will work if it does not cost enough. Don’t undervalue your services. The value is in the results/benefit the prospect gets.
If what you sell is worth what you charge, you are ethical moral and are HELPING others when you sell it. (Even when you sell it for more that YOU think it’s worth.)
If what you sell, you leave a vital part out so you have less competition (because you are teaching what you do to pay the bills) or charge more than what you know it is worth (which to a certain degree is an objective call) you are scum.
Sounds like she is an ethical person that has been jaded by too much scum.
There certainly is a lot of scum on the internet and in a recession like now, they seem to come out of the wood work. It takes more of those with that 2nd screw loose to step up and to balance the ones with the 1st screw loose to even the playing field.
I am glad she had you to talk to.
(Who was it that said, “I’m not scum, I’m more like duckweed… everybody’s got to eat, even the ducks.”)
Lol.
Mark
Perry,
This article perfectly illustrates the power of marketing systems to deliver algorithmic efforts (and hence results).
The advantage of the type of internet marketing that you share is that it eliminates the “sales demons” of uneven effort or uneven performance and delegates that to mindless but effective digital tools.
Thanks for another great article.
Gogo
Hey Perry,
Great article and I can definitely relate. Ive been in sales all my life and for a long time had the second screw loose but now ive figured out the value of what I have to offer and Ive grown so much since then. You cant be scared to step out of your zone and realize your true potential.