A Bit of Indian Satire A Hyderabad newspaper reviewed a book called "Whitewash" which pokes fun at some of India's woes. It included some spoof ads. Since half the people on my list are into advertising, you'll enjoy these: [Photo of skinny guy with ribs sticking out] BODYSLIM "You won't believe it. For 12 years I was a grotesque 38 kilos [100 lbs]. In our famine ravaged neighbourhood in South Karnataka, that is grossly overweight. People used to even call me Fatso. "Not any more. Now I'm a normal 29 Kilos [64 lbs]." Bodyslim India Pvt. Ltd. No. 4, Chengappa Road, Malleshwaram Bangalore ~ RIOT HELP LINE Emergency helpline during riot For Hindus: FREE For Muslims: Rs. 40/- per minute Call 2654-9804/6- 3, Ex. 43 Press 1 for critical medical emergency requiring hearse immediately Press 2 for slow-bleed emergency requiring hearse in 2-3 days If hemmorrhage Press 4 If immolation Press 5 If rape Press charges If Muslim hang up and try again Call anytime day or night except between 8am and 7pm weekdays, all national and gazetted holidays and Sundays, Saturdays, half day every second and fourth Saturday Paid for by the Department of Public Humilliation. Commisson of Minority Welfare. ~ EXCHANGE 56-year-old Rajasthani mother-in-law, cranky, boisterous and occasionally flatulent, available for immediate exchange with any inanimate object valued above Rs.200/-. Or make offer. Box 6 ~ Suffering from mood swings, golf addiction, depression, social tendencies, bad breath? Try neurosurgery. Home or hotel service. Rakesh Barber and Neurosurgeon 983568740 ~ On Saturday we took the boys to the beach at the Bay of Bengal. Most of the boys had never been to the beach before. We arrived and while we were waiting a bunch of 'em wanted... Hugs. Well hey, I've got a 7 year old and he likes hugs too. So I dispensed some. That's easy. Makes me miss my kids at home that much more, but a little lovin' is always a wonderful thing. The road to the beach was an actual highway. Like, we didn't have to constantly swerve to avoid bicycles and sheep and cows. OK, we did swerve to avoid cows a couple of times. Finally got there. Man it was hot. Add 100 degree temperature and 90% humidity to baking sand too hot to walk on barefoot, the water was pleasantly cooler than the sand. The boys just played in the waves and we threw balls back and forth. Ships and boats in the distance. Hindu idols on the beach too, grinning at us. Lots of women with Saris but no bikinis. I have to tell you, one of the things I really appreciate about India is the conservative dress and the difference in how relationships are portrayed in the media, and the traditional community values. The advertising is, refreshingly, NOT a constant bombardment of sensual images. I don't think most Americans have any idea how much of an undercurrent of anger and dissatisfaction is generated for both men and women with this whole "sex sells" thing. Think about it... if your environment practically forces you to think about sex every 5 minutes of the day, is it any wonder everybody's constantly agitated and unhappy? It it any wonder young girls have eating disorders, women think their bodies are ugly (when they're NOT, they're all beautiful in their own way!) and men live with this unending low-level torture, their natural drives being artificially stimulated and manipulated by messages that by their very nature can NEVER deliver real satisfaction? Is it any wonder people have unrealistic expectations of their husbands and wives. We live in a very diseased culture. In India I love the fact that most of this is not in play. Not right now anyway, not overtly. You turn on the TV and most of the music videos are non-sensual, highly romantic Indian dances that portray honor and courtship. Even kisses usually happen behind a tree. I know, though, that Hollywood is relentlessly banging on the door and working in earnest to erode the high standards Indians set for themselves. I guess I can only pray that the next generation of Indians doesn't have to be chastized with all the ills that make Americans and Europeans so constantly simmering and unhappy. The typical Indian teenager might think he wants his MTV, but in reality it'll only make them unhappy. 'Cuz when the video is over, you don't get Paris Hilton and cases of Michelob don't come with a closet full of girls. It's a con. Possible solution for horny dissatisfied Americans: Go on a "media fast." Turn off the TV for a week and see if you aren't noticably happier. You might find you prefer having your TV in the corner of the basement rather than at the center of your house. Earlier this week in the Deep Forest area where the untouchables live, we delivered sacks of rice to a poor village where there's been draught. At a different village where we stopped to drop someone off, some women blockaded the road and demanded money for their festival to pray for rain. The man we dropped off waved them off and we went on. Later I found out there was some violence in the deep forest area and we saw some police checkpoints on the road home. There are still more stories to tell and I'll be cranking them out in the next day or two. Meanwhile Jeremy and I are going to be in Delhi tomorrow and there we'll find a cybercafe with a real high speed connection so we can upload some pics. On this trip, a picture is definitely worth 1000 words. Later, Perry Marshall Next Installment India Home Page |