Positive Focus
My morning commute – from bed to library, where I write – is about 18 feet. Beats 18 miles, believe me.
But there is one disadvantage (isn't there always a potential disadvantage with everything?):
I can roll out of bed at 7 or 7:30, throw myself into my work and not even look up until 10 or 11 o'clock. So much to do, so much to do…. like the Dunkin' Donuts guy says, "Time to make the donuts."
It's REAL easy to not stop and center myself first.
I'm in Dan Sullivan's Strategic Coach program and the #1 thing they teach in Coach is: "Positive Focus."
Namely, that you start every interaction, every meeting, and every day with this question:
"What's GOOD?"
"What's good right now? What positive thing happened yesterday? What positive thing happened today? What do you appreciate about the person you're talking to right now?"The Strategic Coach guys finally got through to me. A couple of months ago I started a new habit. I take out this teeny little Moleskine note book, it's maybe 2 inches by 3 inches – and I write down something positive. First thing in the morning.
That all by itself isn't enough. I don't know anyone who prays or meditates who doesn't think it's the most healthy thing they do all day. But writing down one or two or three sentences in that tiny notebook is what gets me STARTED.
If it was a BIG notebook and I had to write a couple of paragraphs, it would never get done. My brain's a little sludgy at 7:30 in the morning. But I can do 2 or 3 sentences.
The thing we all have the hardest time doing is getting started. Writing down two or three things that are positive, that's the first 20%.
Now the train is rolling down the tracks.
As you know, one of the things I like to do best is crank out a nice juicy rant. Gets my brain cells boiling, and everybody else's too.
Some of that is driven by my perfectionism and it's great to be able to find the fly in the ointment. It's why I'm good at solving problems.
But too much perfectionism can be its own curse, as we all know. Everybody I know who runs an online business is at least a little bit obsessive and you want that obsessiveness working for you, not against you.
Solving problems, celebrating and moving forward, not uselessly grinding away on "the way things ought to be."
Also, gratitude is a GREAT reminder that most of the challenges you've faced in your life, you HAVE solved. (Right?) You might be facing some stiff opposition today. So remember that all your victories will be built on a foundation of what's good, not what's wrong in the world.
Start with something positive RIGHT NOW, and Seize the Day.
Perry Marshall
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Perry Marshall's books on Google Advertising are the most popular in the world. He is referenced across the Internet and by The Washington Post, USA Today, and Entrepreneur Magazine.
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Perry:
I really like the idea of starting a conversation with "What's Good." In fact, I think it is a great change of pace for people who are used the the standard "How are you today" line.
By saying "What's Good" you are making a person think and it really sets a different and very positive tone for the conversation.
As for getting me on the right track, I write down three things that I am grateful for first thing each day. This puts me in a very positive state. And life is so much easier when we are focusing on and living in a state of gratitude.
Hey Perry,
Awesome post that if people take to heart, can change their life! If we start our days with gratitude and clearing the negative then we are at a higher vibration. What a way to start the day! The reverse is true too if we end the day with gratitude and put some positive in the subconscious before falling asleep it will have an impact on us.
So Perry, grateful to have you in my life as a friend and to hear your thoughts in your posts!
Good stuff, Perry! I'm adopting that "little book" trick right now. I've known about starting the day off with a short, positive comment for a long while. But I never realized it was that big page that was causing me to put off.
Thanks for a great tip!
One of the very important lessons of my adult life was recognizing the difference between PERFECTIONISM and EXCELLENCE.
The distinction between the two is the orientation toward failure. Perfection does not allow for failure. Failure = imperfect. Perfection is not humanly possible. Perfection leads to a condition called FRUSTRATED PERFECTIONISM. A perfectionist lives in the frustration. You can see where that would lead, can't you?
Excellence sees failure as feedback from the system. Excellence doesn’t dwell on failure. It’s focused on achieving desired results, and alters the strategy, when necessary, to achieve it. Excellence is the reason why you test. To find the most productive result.
Although I haven't always been consistent at writing such things down, I did a little experiment once in which I did something similar with my finances.
I was struggling with never having enough, so I made a practice of writing down every little scrap of income I received, even down to finding a penny on the ground.
It really changed my perspective.
When I'd look back at the end of the day, I'd have a whole list of income received. It surprised me how many different ways income came into my life.
Instead of looking at each little bit of income as being too little to help with my financial difficulties, I started to marvel at how all these little bits added up.
Keeping track of this didn't immediately change the amount that came in. It showed me where I stood at that time (although it did bring in some extra income as took advantage of some opportunities I would otherwise have ignored as "not big enough").
What it did mainly, though, was to free me from the desperation mode I was in. Instead of always looking for something new that would give me one, big, sudden lump sum to rescue me, I was able to concentrate on increasing each source of income I already had so they added up even more.
And whether I've written things down or not, I've fostered an attitude ever since then of looking for things to be grateful for rather than wringing my hands over what hasn't turned out exactly as I hoped.
Hey Perry… Awesome post.
I have actually recently written this blog post called ' Excellence vs Perfection" You, and others, may find it interesting…..
Here's an excerpt:
………..
* EXCELLENCE is the willingness to be wrong. PERFECTION is being right.
* EXCELLENCE is risk. PERFECTION is fear.
* EXCELLENCE is powerful. PERFECTION is anger and frustration.
* EXCELLENCE is spontaneous. PERFECTION is conformity.
* EXCELLENCE is accepting. PERFECTION is judgment.
* EXCELLENCE is giving. PERFECTION is taking.
* EXCELLENCE is confidence. PERFECTION is doubt.
* EXCELLENCE is flowing. PERFECTION is pressure.
* EXCELLENCE is journey. PERFECTION is destination.
* EXCELLENCE is surrender. PERFECTION is consuming.
* EXCELLENCE is trust. PERFECTION is selfishness.
I guess we can all take significant meaning, and learning from these. What I get out of them is this…
"Enjoy the ride. Take others along for the ride. Dont be too scared at getting lost – as it's on the 'side-streets' that we often see and learn the most."
Read more at:
http://makethewebwork4you.blogspot.com/2009/07/excellence-vs-perfection.html
CHeers
Mick (from the other side of the world in New Zealand)
Rarely I post or even take the time to give my opinion. Please apologize if it doesn't hit the mark.
I love the concept of positive focus. I had my little moleskin book for years breakfast lunch and dinner it has been my mirror how negative my own thoughts are. And in the world of internet marketing I get easily glued to the next best idea.
Sometimes I feel I wearing a suit made out of velcro and I spend all day, putting patches on, and by the end of the day (if I remember) I am busy taking them off.
Doesn't the word integrity come from integrating everything. Thanks Perry your words have helped me one more time to make sense of what I am doing.
One question for you though…
I have the exact same commute and the one – serious – problem I have is stopping work….
I'm at it by 6am and I'm often sitting here at 10pm and for some inexplicable reason, my girlfriends gets mad at me
Or I might nip into the office after dinner to check on something and three hours later …
HOW DO YOU STOP WORKING?
Scott- That's just it..You are not "working" You are absorbed in your "passion" If you would rather be doing something else-you would be doing it…Losing track of time is a key indicator that it's not work to you.
That being said….my trick is to simply make written appointments with myself to (1) go downstairs in the morning and exercise for an hour, and (2) leave at 5 and talk a long walk up and down the "magnificent mile" and buy the 4 papers I read every day…then home with a glass of wine and read..seems to be a go. Then proceed to "worK' until 3-4 am-sometimes
I was born with a significant hearing loss. So every morning, as well as at night before I go to bed, I thank God my now two year-old son did not inherit this from me. I did not want him to experience some of the hardships I had growing up with this condition.
I believe all good things come from above. So I try to remember to thank God for the good things, and when the bad things come, as they inevitably do in this fallen world, I try to see what lessons I am supposed to learn.
Billy Bailey wrote on his blog, "The Rabbit Hole",
"In the face of suffering, we should not be asking, "Why me?" but "Why not me?" Indeed, Arthur Ashe famously remarked while suffering from AIDS: "If I were to say, 'God, why me?' about the bad things, then I should have said, 'God, why me?' about the good things that happened in my life."
Life happens, both good and bad. And for those good things, like finding out from the doctors that our son's hearing is just fine, I am especially thankful.
Paul
Eat Well. Live Well.
PurpleGreenPops.com
Perry this is the first time I have replied though I read and refer others to your best posts regularly. I run a business selling waste compactors in the UK and yes here I am at the end of a 16 hour day replying to you!
I find so much of what you say mirrors what I believe and understand. Positivity is one of the greatest keys to a happy and successful life, both at home and at work.
What I particularly like is that you give others the gospel, sometimes subtely within your words and sometimes boldly. It is great to see a business man, indeed a successful business man who puts into practice his love of God and his desire for others to come to know the love, mercy and grace of Jesus Christ.
For anyone reading this who has yet to discover the truth in the phrases "Jesus saves" and "The truth will set you free", keep reading Perry's posts and be open to the possibility that the first and single most important challenge of our lives is to find our way back into relationship with our maker and loving heavenly Father. From then on, life will never be the same. (/)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts in this wake-up call! First thing tomorrow morning, I know what I am going to do => start the day with a positive focus and to my little notebook.
Cheers
Janice
Perry- I am just elated to have run into you online…Your sound values permeate everthing you write about and market…
Inspirational as ever Perry – I've started my own book.
It's very difficult to keep focused on the good things with all the noise in the world!
Another great example of "less is more" …
Thanks for sharing.
Hi, Perry.
The gratitude notebook is an excellent idea and one that I've used for about 20 years… not always daily, but I've got stacks of old small wildly coloured from the 80's "purse size" (I used to put least one thing to make the "garlic train" subway ride bearable while in my sneakers/pantyhose bow-at-the-neck-shoulder-pads) to the studious looking notebooks that I used for gratitude instead of "ideas for great american girl novel" of the 90's, to the notebooks that were the right size and graphic fit conveniently in a diaper bag/purse/briefcase. These notebooks have saved my life… simply looking back at what I've always been appreciative and grateful for. The history too and the kept memories just by reminding yourself of good times makes you appreciate the adventures of everyday.
I am wondering if you've ever read or discussed the concept of "Appreciative Inquiry" which is an Organizational Development philosophy coined in the early 80's? There are huge volumes written on it, but the best are the "Thin Book" series. If more companies based some management development on these philosophies, there would be less corporate criminals and bullies out there with malicious intent ruining the free market for the rest of us.
It is so simple to be grateful for your life and your work and JUST WRITE "THANK YOU" for something (even when you're stuck somewhere else in life,– I've left the garlic train morning commute for one similar to yours except I stop off at the baby's room to pick up my partner…)
It is sort of like the old adage "an apple a day, keeps the doctor away" only this one goes "an appreciative note a day, keeps the life in my life coming my way. It works and it's not The Secret or some special new age "law". It just is. It just does. And I am grateful for the ability to notice the little things.
There might be so much to complain about that it is hard for most people to notice that there is exponentially more to be grateful about. I wish we could organize a "split test" on the complaint vs grateful headlines to show some true results to the fearful stuck people. Perhaps the free market would start working again??
Thank you for all of your writing. I've gotten special gems from your email and blog writing plus world-class, dynamic education from your texts.
Sincerely, Patricia Koehler
Perry — excellent post
Here's another twist from my days as a psychologist.
Most people don't realize the complexity which drives NEGATIVE thinking… that there are actually psychological forces which reinforce it with unseen gains.
Try this exercise as an example (Carol Munter, Ph.D. introduced this to Sharon and I 25 years ago)
Suppose you want to lose weight and you wake up feeling fat. Instead of the usual negative, critical self "fat talk", try this paradoxical exercise:
- Imagine yourself getting as FAT as humanly possible … as fat as you could ever in your wildest dreams imagine getting
- Now, when you can really see it, write down three things which would be REALLY GOOD about that (read this paragraph again)
- Then, imagine yourself getting to your ideal weight, and write down three things which would be REALLY BAD about that
For me, being really fat would mean…
- I could just keep eating whatever I wanted to because I was hopeless anyway (yummy brownies, milk shakes … ooooh!)
- I could wear oversized sweats and t-shirts and stop hassling with keeping my dress clothes organized, clean, and up to date
- I could more easily push people out of my way on the NYC subways (I grew up spending a LOT of time being treated like cattle in rush hour subway herds )
While being my ideal weight means …
- Having to limit my portions and exercise to STAY at my ideal weight
- Sharon would make me go shopping more (she loves to dress me, but I HATE trying on clothes!)
- Dealing more squarely with my father's envy and jealousy (Note: love my Pop, but he's impossibly competitive)
What this exercise does is point out the unseen forces which keep us all stuck in negative thinking… and it augments our ABILITY to start the day positive AND STAY THAT WAY!
Hope it helps
Perfect timing Glenn.
I've been noodling on some of my negative self-talk lately. Trying to get to the bottom of it.
I think I'll take Perry's most recent advice and go for a walk and try this exercise. (Note: It's going to be triple digits in a few hours, better get the walk out of the way now)
All the best,
I think it's a lot more exhilarating to rant and a lot easier to be negative. Though, if you look around you there are more negative people than positive – so anytime you're positive, you stand out and draw people closer. Being positive takes a lot of work…
I believe that you have hit the nail on the head Perry!
Things get so hectic that I can definitely see
that I have been adding to it by jumping up and
spending my time in the computer room.
I am going to use your formula and I'm sure that positive thoughts will help most people if they can make a habit of it especially the first thing in the day. What a beautiful mind set. Thanks for sharing, Carol