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The religion of high technology

By: Perry Sink Marshall

The editor asked me to look into my crystal ball and dial up the year 2001. He happened to mention spiritual as a possible component of the discussion. Being a marketing missionary who fervently preaches the virtues of new and better technology, as well as a man of faith, I could hardly resist.

2001 arrives with the new era of postmodernism in full swing. What this means is that rational reasons are cast aside and whatever you believe is OK, as long as it works for you.

Especially if it is profitable!

Of course, this is ideal for proselytizing to and securing technology converts. There has never been a wider array of technologies to believe in. There's Windows, MacOS, Unix, and Linux. There's Access, SQL, and Oracle.

And there's wireless, cable, and DSL. Don't forget RS-232, USB, and FireWire. Surely there springs to mind Foundation fieldbus, DeviceNet, CAN, Profibus, and Ethernet. Recall PC, DCS, and PLC? PalmPilot, Handspring, and Pocket PC are there. And conversions happen every day.

And you know what? To boldly proclaim your pet technology as the salvation of the world is not only quite acceptable but also healthy capitalist behavior. Though you may not have the slightest understanding of how it works and despite the fact that every technology on the planet has failed catastrophically at least once, yours is the right to proclaim your favorite technology gospel!

At the same time, discussing your personal spirituality in public is considered to be in poor taste, especially if your degree of conviction and enthusiasm rivals that of the average diehard Linux convert. Of course, it's even more offensive if you attempt to prove what you believe is actually true.

Billy Graham is out, and Linus Torvalds is in. I don't say that's how it should be; I just say that's the way it is. Linus, the passionate prophets of Linux proclaim, will rescue us from the tyranny of our oppressor and foe, Mr. Gates.

Cult behavior is perfectly acceptable and is enthusiastically exercised in newsgroups and chat rooms 'round the world!

The saving grace for us technology guys is that deep down we know no one technology is the cure for all evils. As chief Technovangelist, I'd prefer to think I'm one of the good guys because I flog multiple communication religions and multiple OS religions with virtuous nonbias.

Specifically, our church expounds not one but seven prophets. Yea unto the user, seven beacons that point to the light of industrial communications salvation:

DeviceNet, for it is the offspring of Allen-Bradley and embraced by purveyors of fine automobiles and semiconductor wafers.

Profibus, for it is the child of Siemens, and its incense burns in factories across Europe and the Americas.

Foundation fieldbus, whose mother is ISA and who finally delivered her after 12 years of tumultuous labor.

Modbus, because more doorways to Modbus can be found in industrial devices than to any other temple.

Interbus, for she paved the way for fieldbuses in the great U.S. of A.

AS-i because she is so simple that one must come to her as a child.

And Ethernet, who is honored by her four regal sons, Modbus/TCP, EtherNet/IP, ProfiNet, and Foundation fieldbus HSE.

So to those who grunt and struggle under the burden of 500 wire tags, miswired terminal blocks, and cable bundles as thick as your leg, I invite you to visit the temple of industrial communications, where the configuration is easy and the bundle is light.

If you think about it, there are some interesting implications of technology as religion. First of all, if the U.S. government would recognize fieldbus as a religion, then my organization could become a church and obtain tax immunity from the IRS.

I'm hoping this will be one of the first bills Congress takes a look at this month.

And secondly, should I succeed in my Technovangelism and rake in millions of dollars on an IPO, I can then retire and do a complete 180°. I'll buy 1,000 acres of wilderness in Montana, trade in my PalmPilot for a flowing white robe, and start a technological zealot detox center.

Wealthy parents of teenage technocult members will pay me lots of money to break the spell of technological addiction, and I will convert their cyber-entangled children back into Luddites.

Oh, and the next time someone hassles you for inviting him to your church Christmas concert, gently remind him that only yesterday he was trying to convert you from Eudora to Outlook Express.

"Originally appeared in InTech"

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Perry S. Marshall & Associates is an independent consulting & publishing firm, and is not affiliated with Google.