We asked ZJ our new adopted son, “You’ve been with us a week! How do you like us so far?”

“OK,” he replies.

Everything has been “OK.” ZJ doesn’t have strong opinions (so far!) about much of anything. I figure that’s probably normal for a kid who’s been in an institution for much of his life.

His strong opinions are coming for sure – probably when we stop acting like American tourists in China :^) From what we’ve done so far, he could barely predict what actual normal life is gonna be like.

Uncle Bryan, who lived here four years and speaks fluent Mandarin, just left.

Q: So how do you talk to a Chinese kid who knows maybe 15 English words?

A: Fantastic $5 iPhone app called “Say Hi.” As long as you’ve got WiFi, it translates back and forth between English and any language. Remarkably accurate.

It prints and speaks the foreign language. You can choose male or female voice. Taking a non-English speaking kid just got twice as easy, thanks to technology!

WE GO CLUBBING

After the kids were in bed, time for some night life!

Off we went to the Soho Club, where drinks include “Deluding of Seven Years,” “Painful but Enjoyable,” and “The Raging Fire Burning Suit.”

DRONES IN CHINA

Walking down the street on Shamian Island in Guangzhou, look what we found! The beginning part is the guy testing the camera angles:

Shamian Island is a famous place for engaged couples to get pictures taken. I’m guessing they’ll use this thing to get some cool aerial angle for wedding photos. I’m impressed at how smoothly this thing navigates.

What industries will spring up around drone accidents in the next 5 years?

I LOVE BEING THE ONLY WHITE GUY ON THE ENTIRE AIRPLANE

On my way from Bangkok to Xi’an….

 

THE RUMOURS ABOUT THAILAND ARE ALL TRUE

I’m so glad we made sure the hotel where we hosted my 4-Man Intensive was not too far from one of these.

YOU CAN’T ESCAPE MARKETERS.

THEY’RE E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E

Right here in the lobby of the hotel we stayed at Xi’an, none other than my pal Jay Abraham, featured at an upcoming conference. He’s got the Asia circuit nailed!

INSECTS FOR DINNER! (PUPA, TO BE EXACT.)

We went to this Korean-style restaurant where you roast meat on a grill in the middle of your table. One of the menu items was… “Pupa”!

Creamy inside. Crunchy outside. Sort of like a popcorn husk. I found the exoskeleton to be offputting. I ate exactly one and that was enuf for me.

THE WORLD FROM A LITTLE PERSON’S POINT OF VIEW

We gave ZJ at camera at the Terra Cotta Warriors place. He took 300 pictures. Everything looks different from down there.

WHO SAYS DUMPLINGS ARE BORING?

We went to, it seems, the dumpling capital of Xi’an. Every dish was dumpling something or other. These are the frog dumplings. I put two of them in a mating position, but everybody thought that was disgusting so I didn’t take a picture of that.

SLEEPING ON DAD

Seems to like us just fine….

The Chinese have no delusions about what they’re eating. By the way, it wouldn’t be impossible to find Chinese food as good as we’ve been getting here every night, but it would be hard… and you’d almost have to be in San Francisco, New York or Chicago Chinatown. You would NOT find Chinese food this good in Indianapolis or Oklahoma City, no way, no how.

THIS IS NORMAL:

THE WALL AT XI’AN

We picked up ZJ in Xi’an, home of the Terra Cotta Warriors. Xi’an is in the north central part of the country, though the Chinese consider it to be in “the west.” The city wall surrounding Xi’an is the oldest intact city wall in China. Here’s my China girl smiling for the camera:

SQUATTY POTTIES

They look like this:

Tannah’s Squatty Potty prayer:

Dear Jesus,
China is great. Everyone is beautiful and healthy, and Lor– sorry, YOU know that they got the whole food thing right. But if I could never use a squatty-potty again in my whole life, I would be infinitely happy. Thanks.
Amen.

Oh, and don’t miss Wikipedia’s page on Human Defecation Postures.

HOOKAH BARS

They seem to be universally popular. There’s one just up from our hotel. And… how about these very, VERY PUBLIC TOILETS in Hong Kong? Fortunately, the smog does afford some measure of privacy:

Next installment: Perry gets into a political discussion about the Chinese government.

Later,

Perry Marshall