Last week I gave away a sample Renaissance Club newsletter called “Signature Victories.” I talked about Signature Victories in your life – wins that have a special color, flavor and texture. They empower you to live a bigger future.
I talked about celebrating those victories on purpose and asked for feedback via anonymous survey. I got the most wonderful responses.
Would You Share A Signature Victory with Me Today?
If you haven’t read this special newsletter, read it now here:
http://www.perrymarshall.com/marketing/quicksurvey/ —>password is “rclub”<—-
Then would you post your own story below?
I promise to read every one. Other readers will love reading YOUR story. And I’ll certainly add some to my repertoire of prized student achievements!
TGIF, everyone! Celebrate Friday with me by celebrating a breakthru YOU have had in YOUR life.
Perry
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About the Author
Perry Marshall has launched two revolutions in sales and marketing. In Pay-Per-Click advertising, he pioneered best practices and wrote the world's best selling book on Google advertising. And he's driven the 80/20 Principle deeper than any other author, creating a new movement in business.
He is referenced across the Internet and by Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, INC and Forbes Magazine.
28 Comments on “Celebrate a Signature Victory with me, would you?”
Do You Look Like Your Dog?
I think some people take Imitation a bit Too far.
Being able to act or look like someone else is one way
that I learn and others also learn in this way.
So I think I made a mistake when I took your survey
a few of days ago.
When I answered your first question
I thought that the best part of the newsletter was the
60 second ‘tip’.
However now -with a little reflection-
I think I answered too quickly.
The best part of the newsletter (to me) was simply the part about other people can be ‘role models’ or they can be ‘touchstones’.
It is true that I’ve learned a lot from other people, its also true that I know very little of anything except that I can mostly be me.
Regards,
John
Perry,
I’ve loved reading all these great stories!
I’ve been waffling for a week about what to write. I know that I have signature victories every day, but because you asked, every thought just went out of my head!
I’m an accountant, self-employed now, but I’ve been in some sort of business management all my life (accounting is my second degree, after twenty five years in the working market.)
I’ve had some wins and some losses, but the key to victory has always been to learn something from the experience and use it the next time around. There is a TON of useful information in every venture, but you have to look away from the failure and SEE the lesson.
Years ago, when my mom was sick and Dad and I kept her home and took care of her, I needed some sort of outlet. I used to visit my friend, just sit and watch her as she painted the most marvelous paintings in her studio.
One day she said, “Get up. Come here. I’m going to teach you to paint.” I said, “I can’t even draw!” The response was, “That’s all right. I’ll teach you that, too.”
From that day on, I was an artist, not an observer. Years later, I asked her, “What inspired you to get me up from the table and teach me to paint?” She responded,
“You asked the right questions.”
One more signature victory in this topic – the day I showed my “repertory” of photos of my paintings to a friend, and she stopped cold at one photo, said “Is this painting for sale?” I said, “Yes.” She said, “I want it. How much do I owe you?” And wrote me a check right there.
When Pat got me up and started that day, she had faith in me. And I responded to that faith.
When Jill bought that painting from a photo, price unasked, I began to have faith in myself.
Hi Perry,
After getting badly burned by several IM “gurus” [to the point of great financial distress] I didn’t know how it would be possible to continue marketing.
Then one Sunday I was watching Joel Osteen, where he talked about “watching for signs.” I thought “okay God, you want to send me a sign, send someone to buy my product.” [I quickly dismissed the thought as too selfish.]
Later that day, I checked my email, and saw that I had received an order from London- it was time stamped by ClickBank right at the exact minute Joel Osteen said “Today I want to talk to you about watching for signs of Gods favor.”
That means someone on the other side of the world had to watch my 20 minute sales video, put in their credit card info, and hit send at the exact right moment, all having to happen BEFORE I asked for a sign- that I dismissed.
It’s still an uphill battle, but each month, God has stepped up in amazing ways, enabling me to continue doing what I believe He wants me to do- which is to help people restore their health and personal freedom by treating their bodies the way God designed and created them to be treated [in a world that relentlessly pressures them to do the opposite].
I believe when you take back some ground in your life by living with integrity on every level [mentally and physically] you take back some ground for the Kingdom. [And we’ve lost a HUGE amount of ground lately.]
Getting that message out has been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, but it’s changed my faith in ways I never imagined.
To your health and success,
Micheal Marsh
Awesome story!
Hi Perry,
When is your training program on how to be a PPC consultant going to be available?
Thanks,
Ronnie
Perry, very powerful process to write these down. I came up with over 12 and more to come, but the biggest was about 10 years ago…
I had been working for the man for a number of years, nurturing and holding in this dream of being my own boss, owning my own business. Which was a dream I’d had for as long as I could remember.
Well, the moment came for me to start buying and selling pre-foreclosure houses. Lots involved in that process, much more than you think.
Well, in a few short weeks, I picked up three deals. Yes, all with no money down. But getting em to the closing table and cashing a check was another story.
In just 7 short days I closed three deals. One, where I made $10,000, the second, I made $25,000 and the last one, where I made $35,000.
Each deal had it’s pitfalls and challenges. The first I had to work with the buyers who were having marital issues to get the closing done.
The second, was simple. Straight cash sale.
The last one, was touch and go for some time. I finally had to negotiate with the banks up until the last minute before the closing to get my deal done. If the bank doesn’t take my offer, I make nothing. If they do, I make $35,000.
They took the offer with just a few minutes to spare.
At the end, I learned to just be patient, persistent and to not let my emotions get in the way. This was a huge leap for me.
From that point on, I knew I could be successful in any business endeavor.
For many years, I’ve learned the lessons of that one week to remind me when the chips are down to just be patient, stick to it, and keep my emotions in check.
It always works out.
Great story!
Perry
Just last month I helped a small local business owner who was spending $4500-$5,000 per month with a PPC agency. I built his own google account instead. Despite Easter holidays and google suspending his a/c for 4 days, he managed to achieve a $6,000 increase in sales and a $2,500 decrease in Adwords costs.
To show you who deserves the credit, I’ve read your definitive guide to Adwords and attended your Austin seminar last November. I only implemented a small % of these techniques.
Thanks Perry, my client is very happy as well.
Craig
#1 Being paid $100 by my first AdWords management client in early 2005 – a lady in real estate in Houston.
I had to decide how much to ask her to pay me, and how to collect payment (thanks PayPal).
Even though I’m in UK, it showed me I could successfully market myself to clients anywhere in the world by the power of the Internet and Google AdWords.
With a little help from Perry along the way!
#2 Presenting at the first Maui Masters Summit 2010 – what a blast!
Perry,
I’ve spent the last 4 yrs learning everything I could about SEO, Website development, HTML, and just about every aspect of Internet Marketing. (With the exception of Ad Words, which is what lead me to your teachings.)
During this journey, I have run the gambit of IM schemes and tactics to try to earn that elusive “pot-o-gold” at the end of the Ethernet cable.
Until last year, when I was introduced to offline marketing using inbound marketing techniques by a consultant in the Chicago area. He turned out to be a flake, but it ignited a desire to reach out to local companies and teach them how to properly market their businesses.
Well after running in to delays financially, I finally was able to position myself to start networking. I attended a small expo of local businesses and met up with someone who had liked my fan page on FB and follower on Linkedin. He then introduced me to another person who was also a Fan and then another.
It became apparent that my content marketing was working because one of the FB/Linkedin fans is a local business coach, who said that he now directs his clients to follow my blog and fan page.
Last week we had a conversation about me doing some IM coaching for him, since he lacks this sort of expertise and he sees me as an expert in my field.
Now I haven’t made money, but I have the affirmation that I’m on the right track and that it won’t be long now.
Three signature victories:
About one year after severe physical sickness with 4+ months sick leave and fear of never being able to work again, I succeeded to bycicle up a big mountain
( http://www.grossglockner.at/en/hochalpenstrasse/ ).
It took me 8 hours to do so while the best ones only took 2 1/2 hours or so, but the essential thing was that I succeeded.
This moment I knew that I was completely healed. This was about 9 years ago.
***
After taking antidepressants for more than one year I managed to stop taking them. I did it cold-turkey because the gradual thing didn’t work, and I knew it was the right time for me to stop taking them.
I know that one is supposed to not stop antidepressants cold-turkey but it was the right thing to do for me. I knew because my mind has grown strong enough by diligently working on myself for years.
It was a strange but strengthening experience. It took all of my power to keep my mind together during the first day. I even went to work that day and I managed to do something useful there. :-)
After succeeding with *that* I knew that I have a very strong mind and nothing can really harm me.
This happened a few months after cycling up the mountain.
Good to remember that now. :-)
***
After writing down three dreams and letting the scenes of these dreams continue during writing, and actively intervening in these scenes, and continuing to do this for one week between waking up and going to work, I really awakened, like I never was before. ( It was kind of surprizing. The awakening happened suddenly. It was *not* a gradual thing. )
This caused a permanent change.
In contrast I was really sleepwalking through my life before.
This experience was the result of diligently working on myself. The seeds which I have sown during years of working on myself, have grown to the point where I could harvest fruits.
This also happened about 9 years ago.
Christian,
GREAT to hear from you. What a great story.
Perry
Our signature victories started when I quit my part time job to once again stay at home so I could focus on our four sons. Three of them needed an inordinate amount of help getting through middle and high school, and I needed to have a good income with flexible hours.
Searching on the internet for ‘work at home’, I stumbled onto the idea of selling digital products. It was 2002 or 2003 when I figured out how to make a webpage – using Microsoft Publisher – and launched my first Clickbank product. It sold for $5.95- a birthday party idea. I had no idea how to market it, but it’s a victory that I figured out the whole process.
Almost immediately, we were introduced to Adwords by some guy called Perry Marshall. I think he had a phone in educational call; honestly I can’t remember. He had been on a missions trip, and sounded oh, so credible. In any event, there was a $5 free credit for Adwords, so I bid a nickle per click, and started making sales.
People loved our product; we got rave reviews about how much fun kids had. The domain name, hosting and Clickbank account cost less than $100, but keywords were cheap and I quickly made that back. Starting a successful home business that never went into the red is another victory.
So we launched a second product, and then a third. Up until this point, all of my education had come from Googling around and the occasional free seminar. My husband and I decided that it was time to pay and get some ‘real’ instruction. We’d been around long enough that we knew there were lots of scammers out there, so we signed up for coaching through someone we trusted – Perry Marshall. We couldn’t afford to get coaching from Perry himself, but the guys who helped us taught a lot. And one little thing they taught me about upselling turned the business from hobby income to a full time income. This was a double victory, as it allowed me the flexibility and time I needed with the boys.
Fast forwarding several years, we now have lots more victories – several digital products, a very successful affiliate site. During a temporary layoff for my husband, we started doing consultant work for small businesses in our community. We almost can’t keep up with the demand, and we’ve had to hire help.
And those boys that required an inordinate amount of help? They’ve grown up into happy, productive, just slap wonderful young men. Next month, the last one graduates from high school with honors, and that will be me you hear doing a victory yell.
PS Incidentally, the Signature on these victories isn’t mine.
Look Perry, i been un employed for the last 12 months, i dont have enough money to pay my bills, or even get gas to go look for a job. My wife of 30 years this june works 2 jobs to support us, while i do all the housework to help her out, and everything around the neighborhood to help the LESS FORTUNATE, however, it would seem that folks like me who work their asses off to make it, just keep getting the shit kicked out of them, unlike the ones who just sit on their ass and draw entitlement.
My wife just found out today that she has a tumor, and surgery is a week from Monday. They say it could be cancer, but wont know for a couple of days after the surgery. She’s the only thing i care about in this world, it seems that every one i know is a lousy piece of shit that just wants to use you to make money, and i have NO friends, just so called friends that want you to do something for them,or give them money, and no one cares about anyone except their own welfare.
I get these emails from you all the time, and i keep saying that i’m gonna remove them from my email, since i dont have any money to try one of your gimmicks. Hell, its probably just another one of those scams. I dont even have the money if i wanted to take a chance and try. Whats the use, my wife is probably gonna die on me, and then all i will have left is all these creeps that dont care about me, or any one else except themselves.
I appreciate the offer of “possible victory”, however, my experience has been that LIFE SUCKS, PEOPLE LIE, YOU CANT TRUST ANYBODY, AND THERE ARE NO GOOD PEOPLE LEFT!! THINGS GET WORSE AND WORSE, YOU DIE POOR AND BROKE, WHILE THE RICH GUY, WHO CARES ONLY TO STEP ON THE POOR GUY, GETS RICHER.
I would be glad for you to prove me wrong, however, talk is cheap, and i am getting poorer every day. I do play poker, so i usually know a bluff when i see one, sometimes, but From a guy who has NO HOPE, show me what you can do. I really am skeptical, and believe things only get WORSE. THAT DAMN ni-er president has shown that he wants to destroy America, and he’s done a pretty fair job at that, he signed off on the killling of Osama as a political stunt to raise his points in the polls, thats the ONLY REASON. AMERICANS ARE STUPID, THEY WILL FORGET ALL THE UN-AMERICAN SHIT THAT HE HAS DONE, THE RICH GUY WILL GET RICHER, The poor guys like me will be sacrificed, AND DIE POOR. ITS A IN-ESCAPABLE TRAP, POVERTY, WHERE YOU ONLY GET OUT IF YOUR ALLOWED TO GET OUT, BY THE RICH MANS CLUB.. IF THE THING YOUR PUSHING IS FOR REAL, ALL I CAN SAY IS PROVE IT, BUT I’M BETTING ITS THE SAME OL BS, AS EVERYTHING ELSE. HOPELESS IN NC. JIM
NO-BODY CARES, SO WHATS THE POINT OF GOING ON. WHEN WIFE DIES, I’M GOING WITH HER.
HELL, YOUR JUST A RICH GUY LIKE THE REST OF THEM, AND YOU PROBABLY DONT CARE EITHER.
WIFE HAS HER SURGERY A WEEK FROM MONDAY, AND SHE’LL BE OUT OF WORK FOR 6 WEEKS, SO WE’LL BE A MONTH BEHIND ON OUR HOUSE PAYMENT (SHE PAYS, SINCE SHE HAS THE ONLY JOB, AND OUR MORTGAGE IS HELD BY THE G.D. CHINESE-BANK OF “AMERICA” MY ASS!!)
THEY SAY THAT OUR TOWN OF FRANKLIN IS A TOURIST TOWN, SO I’VE FIGURED OUT THAT TO MAKE TOURISM WORK FOR YOU, YOU HAVE TO MUG A TOURIST. MAYBE I’LL START TOMORROW. YOU SURE CANT DEPEND ON THE G.D. GOVERNMENT TO DO THE RIGHT THING. AND THEY SAID THAT THERE WERE 245000 NEW JOBS LISTED T HIS MONTH, WHERE THE HELL WERE THEY AT, SURE AS HELL WERENT HERE!! JUST ANOTHER LIE BY THOSE BASTARDS IN WASHINGTON. THANKS AGAIN FOR THE OFFERS, BUT GROCERIES ARE OVER-RATED, GAS IS UN-AFFORDABLE, DEATH IS FLEETING, AND LIFE SUCKS. JAMES PARKER.
—– Original Message —–
Wow…I don’t think you’ll get ANY kind of victory with THAT attitude! Life may seem to go against us sometimes but remember we ALWAYS have the choice to change it, no matter how small the change. While I do feel sorry for your wife’s illness, being all sad about it will just destroy you. Look for the positive despite there being no signs of it around you. Talk to someone who you can confide in. Trying to hide/avoid people and thinking they are against you is just being delusional. Stop watching TV with closed mentality. Perry ALWAYS advices against watching/listening to biased news channels.
Humans are wired to help each other and I believe your own neighbors can help you if you ask them. Don’t imprison yourself and conclude that the whole world is against you!
Be Blessed.
Heidi
I spent years chasing after some big, dramatic “jackpot” of increased income. Chasing it involved trying all sorts of unrelated tools and strategies, none of which delivered the “jackpot” I pursued.
When I started funneling all my activities so that everything I did served a single plan, I started noticing small increases in revenues. Now I set the bar a little higher each month, and each month I hit that goal. Quite satisfying after years of running in place!
I have signature victories every day. They are things that most people accomplish without even thinking.
For nearly 2 decades, I have had hardcore psychological problems, though gradually less so as the years pass and I push through my steady, structured healing process hour by hour. Really just 1 gigantic life-changing trauma lasting, but also steadily healing, for 20 years straight. Long story, as you might imagine.
Since I insist on managing my own healing (most people who go through what I went through years ago are the “forgotten ones” who end up in psychiatric wards around the world, locked+drugged up literally for the rest of their lives), I also need to make my own money in whatever way possible, even though working at all is difficult for me — impossible years ago, less difficult, but still challenging, these days.
I’m slow with reading, and most tasks, but I’m incredibly passionate about my recovery and following the solitary path needed to complete my recovery, so I push on, day in and day out, to get what needs to get done to support myself, so I can earn the freedom to manage my healing as I see fit. There is very little leisure time in my life. Moreover I’ve learned the ultra-hard way that there are sometimes hidden and grave risks in casually trusting the wrong authority figures to offer remedial advice for certain personal problems/issues.
Errands like food shopping take a mental toll on me. Reading a blog post do the same. I need to take several breaks when renting/watching a simple movie. Getting through my emails is a challenging task. Holding a steady, clear conversation for more than 15 minutes is a bitch. I need 2-3 hours daily of breaktime/downtime to heal – a PITA to schedule …So when I get done something that others would call “menial” — houskeeping tasks, errands, email, or the small things that have built up my humble online business — it’s a small-yet-big signature victory for me, a private blended feeling of exhaustion, relief, and accomplishment that’s hard to convey to other people, since most people either don’t have the psychological problems I’ve had, are on heavy-duty medications (which often prevent actual healing) and disability income, are locked up for decades, or are lucky enough to have someone to provide for them long-term.
I built up a small home e-biz that now after 3+ years of hard work (well, hard work for me) I’m managing to get by on. That’s a BIG victory, and an accomplishment I’m both proud of, and grateful for (I sorta feel like there may be some kind of spiritual underpinning to it all). It’s been built on thousands of those small victories, built up over the years. I’m the slow-and-steady tortoise type, thinking long-term with goals that may not seem too extensive for most people here in middle-class America, but are a big deal to me.
So to those lurking in the audience of this blog post, who like me are light years behind a place where we can actually apply the high level of business advice that Perry offers (but who esteem his values, ethics, and personal growth lessons interweaved within his addictive writings and videos) — who are nowhere near being ready or able to participate in a 4-Man Intensive — don’t hesitate to take pride in those small day-to-day victories that are a piece of cake for most people but are individual challenges for you, me, and probably a few others scattered within Perry’s readership. Ultimately each of us is on our own unique path in life.
J, congrats on YOUR victories.
Perry
Hi J,
I can relate to what you are experiencing. ( it was never that extreme for me, but I had a slight tendency in that direction. )
I have comments to two points you are making:
To “trusting the wrong authority figures”:
Even people who really mean well with you and who are generally good authority figures, sometimes give advice which turns out to be bad advice.
Therefore it is vital to always make decisions by oneself and for oneself.
This basically means to listen to advice from good sources, and to use it as input for your decision process, but never ever blindly follow it. I learned the hard way. I have not yet recovered from all consequences of blindly following advice from otherwise very helpful and competent and loving people.
To “managing your own healing”:
Very good. I hope “managing” includes to take help from others, just to decide which kind of help to look for and to accept.
Especially as there is a big area between being dumbed down in a psychiatric ward and to doing everything for yourself.
For example: Going to a private psychotherapist one to three times a week and paying him/her with your own money, so there is no government agency or insurance company which interferes with the therapy. Earning that money for yourself may or may not be a challenge at first, but it gives you so much more power over yourself and over your healing that this power alone will help you to earn that additional money in the long run…
Best wishes to you and congratulations for your daily victories and for your courage and determination,
Chris
Thanks for your thoughtful comments, Christian. Makes me feel a little less alone in the world.
Yes, I’ve learned to be very, very discerning in who I seek advice from. A careful tidbit received here, a researched nugget obtained there, etc. And behind it all is a very valuable internal resource I’ve been slowly building up more trust in — the soft, quiet “voice” of my intuition, often present and often (always?) seemingly right.
Funny, I’ve been hearing more and more people skipping insurance and doing self-pay therapy, for the very reasons you mention and the not-so-obvious extra degree of freedoms doing so can offer.
-J
I’m sort of building towards a victory. I have been working on a vision of groups in church that would encourage people about building businesses. There would be a facet of it where creative products and services would be more easily built because of motivations to help the poor, minister to addicts, etc.
After a number of years of pursuing this I am in a congregation that blends more traditional with Messianic services. It feeds the poor five times a week, has a clothing and a medical outreach, yet attracts visionary investors. I could not be pursuing my vision without a supportive context.
I slowly changed from offline lead generation to online lead generation back in the late nineties. I made a few sales online, here and there, but I wasn’t focused on it at all.
I started building a content site in the insurance industry to drive traffic to a couple of my products.
When I started making more sales as a result of my content site, it clicked big time.
Now I am kicking tail and watching as all the guru’s charge huge amounts of money for stuff I figured out mostly by myself and from a guru you never heard of. Maybe I should do that too? Hmmmm.
After trying numerous mlm companies to make a go of it, I finally decided to give up. Franchising has to work, right?
Wrong!
After working 2 jobs(actually working a job to support my family while our franchise DIDN’T grow) for 6 years, we closed it. I felt doomed to work for
the man forever. But I just couldn’t accept it.
Shortly before closing our business, I started receiving AWAI’s solicitation for
becoming a copywriter. And I’d always been told I was a good writer. But I was also told how hard it is to make money as a writer. From people who knew nothing about writing mind you. (Why do we listen to people that have no idea about what they’re talking about, and let their opinions influence our decisions and lives?)
I decided to go for it. What did I have to lose? I trudged forward, still with some doubt looming in the back of my mind, and took 2 copywriting courses. I was also learning about affiliate marketing.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still in my infancy stage, but the first e-mail I got that said, “congratulations, you’ve made a commission,” was a HUGE boost to my confidence. And it was only $150 but I was cruising through the Blackhills on a Harley when I made that sale. That’s a great feeling.
Since then I’ve made some more affiliate sales and my freelance career has landed me a couple of good gigs.
If you have a dream, and desire DON’T listen to the naysayers. They’re too scared to venture out on their own, and for the most part are probably worried about you getting hurt by failure. But if you never try, you’ll never know. And I learned a lot in my business those 6 years. And it was a business I had no passion for, I just wanted my own business and the opportunity presented itself.
Anyway, find what it is that gets your juices flowing and go for it. Even if you have to take baby steps at first.
Thanks Perry for all the info. you’ve given me and for letting me express this here.
-Dana
The phone call that changed my life.
I still remember it vividly. I was just getting started in my real estate career, and the “old school” cold-calling methods just weren’t working for me. Not even close.
I decided I had to change tack by driving traffic to a website and asking people what they were looking for. I spent all-day, every Tuesday printing off properties and sending homes (via snail-mail) to my prospects (this was before email was common). It wasn’t a large list but they were all people I had personally met, or at least talked to on the phone.
After a few weeks, phone calls were rolling in on a regular basis: “Hi, this is John Smith… You’ve been sending us houses for the past few weeks, and we wanted to thank you, but we found a house. Can you take us off your list?” or “Hi, my name is Sally. Can you PLEASE stop mailing me houses? I bought a house already.” I was devastated. 23 rejection calls in a row (and that’s not counting the countless mailings that were marked “Refused. Return to sender.”)
Call number 24 came in and it started the same way all of the others started: “Hi, my name is Kathy Jewett, and you’ve been sending my husband and me houses for a few weeks now…” I was about to finish her sentence for her, go crawl under a rock and start looking for a J.O.B, but she continued with something different; “…we’d like to look at a couple of them this weekend. Can you show them to us?” Ummmm… Lemme check my calendar. SURE!!! “Oh yeah, we have to sell our house before we buy. Can you help us with that too?”
23 rejections (that probably took 5 or 10 hours of my time, plus the 23 phone calls) for every 2 sales? I didn’t need a calculator to figure out that I was on to something. Not long after, I had an office of 50+ agents who depended on my “silly little website” for the majority of their income.
That was the first turning point in my online career.
This isn’t really a victory as such, more just a happening. But it could not have happened were it not for a degree of independence that has been allowed through my developing business.
I was cycling along a path near my home, down one of those lovely wooded lanes. Clear blue sky and evening sunshine – so lovely I stopped and just looked. With the beech leaves still so young they were translucent, the leaves were so intensely green against the blue of the sky. It is something I will not forget for the rest of my life.
Perry,
I was really very touched by your victories. I find reading about other people’s triumphs to be so inspirational. It’s given me the courage to share mine with you.
As a kid growing up, my mother thought the way to teach me how to swim was just to throw me into water well over my head — whether that was a neighbor’s pool or the ocean. “Sink or swim,” she would say. The first time she did this I was around 4 and to this day I have vivid memories of almost drowning. Invariably whenever she did this, someone would see me starting to drown, literally, and jump in to rescue me while my mother stood and watched despite being a very skilled swimmer herself who loved the water. (In hindsight, she didn’t know any better because that’s how her father taught her how to swim.)
Needless to say, growing up I did everything I could to avoid being with my mother near anything resembling water over my toes. So I wouldn’t go to the beach with her or to anyone’s home where there was a pool. (Definitely limited my summer social life.) I was even terrified of getting my face wet –taking a shower was a convoluted affair so I never putting my face under the stream of water.
Perversely, I loved sailing with my father. We used to race sailboats together (I was his crew) and I spent many summers as a teenager teaching sailing. I was still completely terrified of falling in the water, couldn’t swim a stroke and always had to have someone with me who was a strong swimmer when out on the water. It was my deepest, darkest, most shameful secret.
And I was also fascinated by Jacques Cousteau. Remember all his National Geographic specials when we were kids? I was particularly captivated by this one episode where they were searching for the lost city of Atlantis. The closing segment showed his lead diver, Francois, going back into the water alone, to say goodbye to this tiny octopus who mysteriously had come to befriend him. It would constantly seek him out and cling to the side of his mask while he worked uncovering archaeological artifacts. I fantasized about some day being able scuba dive and see all the wonderful life under the ocean. But it was a pipedream (I believed) and as this fear began to permeate most every other part of my life, I forgot that dream.
Fast forward thirty years and I happen to fall in love with a guy who turns out to have been the top diver in the Navy SEALs scuba school. And as our relationship developed, he said that it couldn’t continue if I didn’t find some way to get over my fear of being in the water because he wanted us to have diving vacations together. His declaration reminded me of my “pipedream.”
And with that, I realized I was tired of being afraid — of seemingly everything. I had achieved great success in my corporate career, but never without fear at every step. I took big risks, but always with terror in my heart. Terror of being wrong, making mistakes, failing. I had had enough. I was done with being afraid of my own shadow. I couldn’t live like this any longer.
So I found this woman who worked with adults who were afraid of being in deep water. Her name is Melon Dash. It took everything I had in me just to go to that first session. That day was so charged. I couldn’t eat. Didn’t sleep the night before. Could barely even swallow. Almost turned back on the highway three different times. But I got there.
In one night, she had me floating — on my back AND on my face! I didn’t want to leave the water! I still wasn’t 100% comfortable, but for the first time, I could put my face in the water and not gibber or run screaming from the pool.
Six months later, Melon took 5 of us to Hawaii and under her guidance and coaching in two weeks I became a certified Open Water Scuba Diver. A year later, I became an Advanced Open Water Scuba Diver.
I no longer tremble at the sight of deep water. I no longer fear getting my face wet in the shower. Most of all, I don’t spend every day being afraid of my own shadow.
Overcoming my fear of being in deep water is, to me, my greatest Signature Victory. And every time I start to feel fear, I remember this Victory and calm and certainty descend because I realize that if I could overcome that, then there isn’t anything I can’t achieve.
Thanks for “listening.”
Have a wonderful day,
Mary Planding
Perry,
I went from this idea that if Perry Marshall could make money as a marketing consultant maybe I could too. Not having all of your talents and skills but having the dream.
In the short of it going from getting laid off and delivering pizza and washing windows to getting to the place where I am getting $3000 to $5000 for marketing projects.
That first big one where I said it is $3000 to do this and the business owner said lets do it and has check cut.
That was defining for sure. Everything has changed for me since then. It’s like I am this whole new person.
Many thanks to you Perry for all your inspiration!
Peter
The first time I got a cheque from a client, the first time I actually close a deal without cold calling, it was an “small amount” compared with how much I charge now, but it felt very sweet, I still remember that day :)