Being small is not a contribution. And I am NOT talking about your business staying small, though that’s part of it.
I’m talking about YOU being small. YOU being less than who you really are. Who God made you to be. Who you are on the inside.
Someone pays you a wonderful compliment. Maybe you get a standing ovation because you absolutely ROCKED the house. What are most of us TEMPTED to say?
I’ll tell you what I’m tempted to say:
“Oh, well, doing that is just kinda my job.”
( = “I’m really a slave and they forced me to be this good.”)
“Hahaha. At the beginning I almost spilled my 3×5 cards all over the floor.”
( = “I’m much more comfortable deflecting your praise with self-effacing humor than simply accepting what you had to say”)
“Well… I hope at least one person out there actually ‘got’ what I was trying to say.”
( = I’m more comfortable slathering everyone with cynicism than believing that I might have just made a serious impact on the world.)
As John Eldredge says, all this groveling and self-depreciation is just SHAME masquerading as humility.
The truth is, most of us are too ASHAMED of ourselves to build a $100 million business, or become a bestselling author, or shift the paradigm of an entire industry.
So we just deflect what little greatness occasionally shines through in our little shanty town, and shuffle on to the next bread line.
Yet… there’s this other part of you that yearns to be great, that fantasizes about the stellar performance you just got the compliment for. And it just won’t stop. No matter how hard you try, you can’t kill the Dreamer inside.
So there you are with these two voices in your head. Angel on one side, devil on the other.
Hey baby, that little devil understands 80/20. He knows it only takes one bullet when it’s fired at the right place and the right time. He knows those golden opportunities only come around so often.
And:
If you can shoot yourself in the foot, that little devil enjoys a delicious bonus:
You blame yourself and not him!!!
Cuz now you can tell yourself you’re a $%!#head and start BELIEVING that it’s really true!
Well it’s time to shoot that guy dead. And since he’s never quite dead, you gotta put the bullet in his head every time he shows up until he stops coming around your place. Cuz the world is already careening on its axis and the beds are already burning and the insanity train has already left the station.
So if a few people don’t stand up and express their greatness…. Nobody will.
I am absolutely dead serious. Serious as a heart attack.
Who are YOU?
Well, OK, you’re a person who somehow stumbled onto my website.
But one thing I also know is:
You’re an ENTREPRENEUR. Or you probably wouldn’t be here reading this right now.
And the #1 thing I learned on my trip to Nairobi Kenya in 2004 was, no entrepreneurs = no wealth, no schools, no shops, no concerts, no opportunities, no hospitals, no food. Starvation and death. Literally.
And since the US government and seemingly every bureaucracy and every news reporter out there seems like they’re on a mission to STAMP YOU OUT, the last thing you need is to be your own worst enemy.
The last thing you need is to listen to that devil.
Listen up: The angel doesn’t tell you you’re a worthless $%!#head. The angel doesn’t tempt you to be ashamed of yourself when you occasionally DO slam the ball out of the park and score your hard-earned home run.
The angel didn’t give you all those talents so you could be a slave in the Matrix, “just doing your job,” blindly following the car ahead of you down the Expressway to Nowhere. No, the angel fills the world with art and dance and music and poetry and strategies and inventions and dazzling technologies.
The good angel revels in the greatness and cheers you on: MORE MORE MORE! ENCORE!
But before you can make the good angel your dearest friend and closest companion, you MUST stop believing that life on planet earth was destined to be some kind of parody or joke.
If you’re tired of cynicism – that worm that wraps its slimy, mucous-oozing form around your neck and shields you from disappointment by saying “Well we didn’t really expect much anyway” – then when you catch it showing up, NAME IT. Call it what it is – a WORM – and reject it.
If you’re tired of shooting yourself in the foot every time you’re on the verge of a breakthrough, then send your own Memo to the Head Office: “Sir, I’m afraid I’m gonna screw up again so I’m asking for wisdom. And I am fully expecting that you’re gonna send some more of that stuff my way.”
The best thing you can do for the poor is not be one of them. The best thing you can do for the mediocre is not be one of them. The best thing you can do for not only your kids and spouse but for all the moms and dads and grandpas and grandmas and teachers and neighbors who BELIEVED in you and said “You’re going to be GREAT!” is:
BE GREAT.
And don’t you EVER apologize for it. Ever.
Seize the Day.
Perry Marshall
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About the Author
Perry Marshall has launched two revolutions in sales and marketing. In Pay-Per-Click advertising, he pioneered best practices and wrote the world's best selling book on Google advertising. And he's driven the 80/20 Principle deeper than any other author, creating a new movement in business.
He is referenced across the Internet and by Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, INC and Forbes Magazine.
42 Comments on “Being small is NOT a contribution”
Thank you for taking the time to reply Perry! I feel like I got to meet Oprah. :) I will definitely check into these two books. Thanks for the referral! You rock!
Perry,
The theme of your post reminds me of Freud’s death-instinct theory (aka Eros and Thanatos). I wonder if you had it in mind while writing your post.
(For those of you who get turned off by psycho babble, please excuse this post.)
Freud argued you are built and born with a death-instinct. That is you are inclined to end existence and destroy life.
He based his theory by watching doctors.
Doctors who find out their patients do not want to get as well as they say they do. And in other cases, where the doctor’s work is thwarted by family.
This may seem confusing to you.
Don’t people want what they say they want? Life, liberty and happiness?
If we all have a death-instinct, what is stopping you or me from suicide?
You and I are both going to succeed in dying. No one is going to fail at dying.
Whether you can prove why you die is not going to matter in the end.
So that means the answer to these questions are worth a lot more:
Why do you continue to live in the face of internal and external difficulties?
Why are some more adept at fending off the kinds of assaults that would certainly crumble the next person?
Freud chalks up your delay of death to life-instincts.
These are the prices you pay for delaying death. Life-instincts and death-instincts are in constant conflict just as the forces of catabolism and anabolism are (in biology).
The different types of sacrifices or self-preservative self-destructions is the topic of a book by Karl A. Menninger.
Here is an outline of the book:
Part 1: Attempts at self-preservation which results in voluntary death (suicide).
“Why does the wish to die overwhelm the wish to live completely?”
Part 2: Attempts at self-preservation which results in less extreme consequences (suffering, failure, deprivation).
“Why does the wish to LIVE SMALL overwhelm the wish to die?”
This includes people who cannot endure success and people who succeed in everything but succeeding.
Part 3: How to strengthen life-instincts to prevent handicapped living
I think this last part of the book, entitled ‘restoration’, will benefit your readers most.
Anyways, just wanted to say great post and leave a trail for some of your readers who wish to explore further.
Cheers,
Calvin
Thank you for sending out the blessed message. It revived some things that need be re-activated. Thanks!
Inspired writing. Nothing left to say – lots to do. Thank you!
D
Thanks for this. I currently have a few people playing ‘devil’s advocate’ in my life. Fortunately there are also a few angel counterparts as well.
The slash between the eighty and the twenty is an issue of who you choose to believe, isn’t it? It’s easy to go through life without recognizing this is the subtext.
Dang PM,
Probably the best post I’ve ever read from you. As so many other commented, that one hit home. That makes me want to get up in front of the church and give a sermon.
Thank you for the inspiring words.
Er
Perry, this is me giving you the proverbial slow clap that always comes at the moment of the 80’s movie when the hero stands up and has his day. Every time I read another one of your posts, you hit it out of the park. And I’m a tough critic. Thank you for what you give to me and to the world – at times when we so need to hear it. You are a hero. And this message – being great and not being ashamed of it, is one I needed to hear. I write on this subject myself, but have never been able to put it as eloquently as you. Here is one of my most recent posts onthe subject: http://motivational-speakers-review.com/2013/03/05/motivational-speakers/shes-awesome-and-i-suck
A book that I think gets to the heart of women in particular feeling inadequate and why is “Captivating” by John Eldredge. I like his book for men “Wild at Heart.”
I read your blog post and am still thinking about it. Yes up to a point you defy the insecurity but eventually you need to heal the wound that it comes from. In my experience that’s something only God can do. Which is the subject of my “financial sozo” seminar that I did last year. I recommend the book “Money and the Prosperous soul” and my free email series http://www.perrymarshall.com/headtrash/
Thank you for taking the time to reply Perry! I feel like I got to meet Oprah. :) I will definitely check into these two books. Thanks for the referral! You rock!
Wise words mate. Keep doing what you’re doing, the more people spreading this message, the better for all of us.
Now THAT was awesome….Telling it like it is…
STOP playing small and STOP putting yourself down.
Get up and Play BIG or stop it and go home….
Thanks Perry….
Wow, this came at the right time. I am stress-fractured in a million pieces right now and have struggled stretching for the light. So thank you for this. Greatness is good- very good. It could be that this article was a partial answer to a prayer. Thank you.
An out of the ballpark comment. Please remember that Angels know nothing about money. They know about happiness, sadness, compassion and love.
If money makes you happier, that’s fine by them. If it doesn’t, that’s when the problems start. If having the lack of money means you are unhappy, that is where Angels find it difficult to deal with humans.
Put things in the right order: happiness, then wealth. The other way around leaves you open to dangerous temptations. Not for nothing did Jesus refuse to turn bread into stones during His temptation.
Perry, OMG! I have read some awesome stuff from you but this one grabbed my heart and spoke like none other…Great! Great! Great Post….What I so needed to hear I know you got this one from God buddy!
Thanks
This is great stuff, thanks for encouragement and there is so much light in your words.
Wow, I had just picked up Les Hewitt’s, The Power Of Focus…no reason, just flipped open to just any old page…landed on the chapter named
The Confidence Factor.
The Chapter starts out with a quote from Nelson Mandela’s Inaugural speech.
“…Your Playing Small Does Not Serve The World…”
Then I decide to open your email…
Whoah. Is that a sign????
Thanks Perry!
YES!
Perry my man, what can I say. I am now aware of that devil/worm on my shoulder and never again will I allow myself to keep sabotaging “me” through my own words (see, am already doing it!).
Instead I am gonna be the best and strive for it and – as you aptly put it so colorfully – be great!
Good one! :)
Great post! Funny thing that everyone told me how to show humility but not how to deal with praise.
Best Regards
Wow. Are all your posts like this?
What prompted this one?
The author John Eldredge, and my pastor Ian Carroll.
One of the most motivating messages I’ve read in the last year. Excellent! Thanks Perry!
Dear Mr. Marshall,
Very true words. It amazes me how alike we all really are.
Kind regards,
Elizabeth
Always great stuff, but this one tops everything – for me at least. I look forward to your “exposures”, so that I can correct them in my own life = lots of work, but well worth the trouble.
Thanks again, Perry! Again = GREAT stuff…
You hit that one out of the park! Not only BE GREAT – but STAND UP – contrarian or not!
Well somebody ate his wheaties this morning! Nice column.
You reminded me of a friend, one of the most beautiful women I know. She always has been and has always attracted attention and compliments because of it.
But rather than deflect them, downplay them, or be embarrassed by them, she accepts them with grace and a little gratitude. She’s not cocky. She’s not overly modest. She owns her beauty but doesn’t let it define her.
She just says ‘thanks’ with a smile and moves on.
Made me think of this “I’m small” story…
A soloist gives a great performance at church. After the service one of the parishioners approaches her and says, “You were wonderful, Sister, simply sublime.”
She demurs, “Oh, it wasn’t me, it was all Jesus”
He replies, “Well…no…it wasn’t THAT good!”
thank you for this reminder, Perry.
Great piece.
Amazing how many people are content to live a small life, focus on the criticisms and dismiss the compliments.
Not sure where I picked up it but I like the saying “You can’t truly fail if you never really try”. No one seems to want to try. Or, even worse, disparage the people who do.
I always enjoy reading what you send but today’s was a truly great one.
Oui , Carpe Diem
At this very moment I am working very hard on an unpaid prototype for a potentially important client – and enjoying every minute !
Excellent post! From an entrepreneur to an entrepreneur. You really are the king of ” joining the conversation already going on in their head”. I believe I will seize the day… This day as a matter of fact.
Thanks,
Absolutely the exact words I needed to hear, right now, in this moment. What a blessing to have this in my email this morning. Greatness is less of an outcome and more of a belief, which ironically will produce the great outcome.
Thank you very much!
Brilliant!! Or as we say in Afrikaans “PUIK” Surely had an impact on me and made my day more exiting!
Thanks Perry, just the reminder I needed today.
You’re so right – getting rid of that devil is not a one time thing, you have to be primed and ready to kill it every time it drops by.
Thanks!
That was just about the best thing I’ve read for a long time.
So true.
Thank you Perry! I’ve recently come across Self Talk and this post just assures me that I continue to be in the right place at the right time.
I am great!
Thank you Perry!
I don`t usually read my email firt thing in the morning but this one got my attention, and as I was reading trough, I felt like somebody was telling my own experience. Sometimes I feel I don`t good enough, but there is always that little guy inside of me that tells me that I can do it, there is no way back, so just keep going because the people you care about, they trust you and beleive in you and they always think you are GREAT.
So I`ll be GREAT from now on :)
Good day Mr. Perry
Johan
Right on Perry. This is the most insidious of all diseases. It kills slowly from the inside. Its victims number far in excess of every other killer put together.
Worst of all, it masks the path to the only cure and sets people on an endless journey for a solution on the “outside.”
Years go by, you get tired of the constant searching, and you give up.
And then it wins.
Thank you for your work to kill this beast… dead.
Onward.
Amen and right on! Call that lie for what it is, and it will self destroy. Thanks Perry!
Thank you so much for this message. I beleive it was meant for me. :)
Powerful message Perry! Thanks so much!