Playing with fire in a room full of gunpowder
One day when I was 9 years old I was caught walking around in this basement where my friend's father made shotgun shells. I was igniting a cigarette lighter in a room full of gunpowder.
The flames danced deliciously on that silver metal tip as I pranced around the room.
The girl kept pestering me, "Perry, please stop that!!! We're not supposed to be playing in here."
I ignored her. (9 year old boys are too smart to listen to 7 year old girls.)
Let's just say the whippin' I got when my dad heard about this was, um, never forgotten.
I'm also thankful that she and I didn't wind up in a burn unit somewhere.
In regards to all such stupid things, I now have a motto:
"Make Stupidity Pay."
Meaning: Mine it for ALL it's worth. And I'm dead serious about that. Perform a complete postmortem on the whole embarrassing episode.
You may have noticed I've been bringing up my former life as an MLMbot often these last few months. I've noticed, too.
Well, I did some serious pink koolaid drinkin' during that phase of my life and I am determined NOT to forget it.
That is completely counterintuitive to many people. Hey, isn't it a lot less unpleasant to just close the door on a bad chapter in your life and forget about it? Don't you make peace with the past by just… moving on? Doesn't time automatically heal all wounds?
No.
And call me obsessive, but that's not how I am. I can't just slam the door and forget about it. In the case of my biz-op delusions, I did a whole season of rewind/replay on that. Sometimes things which at first seem heaven-sent turn out to be rotten to the core. I needed to filter everything I'd thought I'd learned through a new set of lenses.
So even as I was already on to my next adventure, I re-hashed the prior experience. Finally understood what people on those tapes *really* meant when they said things like "We finally made a decision."
They actually meant "We wanted to get recognized on stage and wear that achievement pin so bad, we were willing to mortgage our house, buy $30,000 of useless inventory, hide it in the garage and pretend to be successful."
Total de-construction of the pink-koolaid machine. What had been done to me, the delusions I had fallen for, the rhetoric, everything.
There were even times when I'd get out some of those classic motivation tapes (ever heard "From Air Force Recruiter to People Builder" by Ron & Toby Hale? A barn-burner) and…. DE-CONSTRUCT them. I was compelled to figure out: Why were those speeches to captivating, so magnetic? Why was that particular blend of nostalgia, self-reliance and God-Bless-America so persuasive?
Why were those stories so powerful? How did they pluck my heartstrings with such force? How did they get me to do so many stupid things, in return for so little, for so long?
In time, those mysteries revealed their secrets to me.
Abby Rohrer, one of my close confidants, put it this way: "Once you figure out how the spell was cast, not only are you not susceptible anymore, you actually feel revulsion every time it tries to come near."
Yep. She sure called that right.
When you totally understand history – when you GET IT at a gut level – it finally stops repeating itself. You are no longer a slave to the pattern.
For me, that de-construction was a major key to unlocking the art of persuasion.
Persuasion is neither good nor bad. It just is. It can be harnessed for the highest of aims or the most evil of intents.
But until you master the art of persuasion, you're powerless to do much of anything, good or bad. It's an unfortunate reality that the 'bad guys' are often better at persuasion than the good guys. (They have to be, really. And they're more deliberate about it.)
Such is the school of hard knocks. It's why we usually learn more from our failures than our successes.
Vince Berland said, “Boxers somehow learn to like getting hit.” He's right. It's not masochism, it's just the way things are when you're in pursuit of excellence. So when episodes of stupidity slap you on the head, take it like a man. Don't just walk away and fuhgetaboutit. Brave the embarrassment and the disgust. Dredge out the hard lessons. Mine the experience for all it's worth and… Make Stupidity Pay.
In the bony clutches of skeletons in your own boarded-up closets, you'll find the keys to your next success.
Students who attend my Intensives and join Roundtable hear these stories in their full glory. (10 or 20 years later, they're often riotously funny too.) And you know what? Everyone else in the room brings just as many stories of their own to share.
The collective experience is exhilarating. I've got a few seats left for the January 21-22 Four-Man Intensive in my home office. Register here.
Perry Marshall
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Entrepreneur Magazine says: "Perry Marshall is the #1 author and world's most-quoted consultant on Google Advertising. He has helped over 100,000 advertisers save literally billions of dollars in Adwords stupidity tax."
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Hey Perry
You'll appreciate this…
On the topic of pursuasion, I noticed this the other day:
'The mind of the wise instructs his mouth, and adds learning and persuasiveness to his lips.'
Proverbs 16:23
Cameron
Abby Rohrer, one of my close confidants, put it this way: "Once you figure out how the spell was cast, not only are you not susceptible anymore, you actually feel revulsion every time it tries to come near."
Here, here.
Perry, I got your promotional material about business-to-business technical sales. Once I learned how salesmen were "supposed" to act, I decided to have a little fun with the sales crowds that were breaking down my door trying to see me.
The most fun I had was taking apart a "me too" salesman – his company sold over 12 product lines that at least two other companies in the geographical area also sold. They competed solely on price as this salesman was technically trained but had NO idea how to apply his products and sell whole solutions. I had been a service engineer with some of the product lines he represented and when I pinned him down with specific questions, industry knowledge and real life field fix horror stories, he ended up leaving with his binder (that he was going to leave) and my boss having a really good chuckle.
So your products are having a positive effect. I look forward to seeing the next sales representative in the new year.
Regards and happy new year,
Gerry Shand
Cameron: That reminds me of Psalm 16: "Even at night my heart instructs me."
I enjoyed this post Perry; very education on what we can use our past mistakes for and how to use it now and in the future. I know I've come across times of being persuaded into something I later wished I hadn't and wondered "why the heck did I do that?!"
Anyway, I am re-posting at my blog and re-tweeting my blog post to share this with others. Even if I only have 5 readers, I'd like at least them to know I got something out of your post.
Thanks!
Ed Bisquera, Mortgage Consultant & Web 2.0 Marketing Evangelist
Fun post, Perry. Psychological sales, Emotion sales, the painting of logic, it all becomes persuasion when going for the close.
I happy you got fired up to write it!
Isn't it a fact that most of the wisdom we gain as we age comes as a result of our failures, mistakes, and most embarrassing situations, and that our successes, at least our easily won successes, rarely teach us anything new or worth remembering? Great blog Perry, thanks for sharing your insight.
never mind the fact that you were in the process of potentially blowing up the 7 year old girl's house…
You bet you got a belt across the backside there Mister!
So how did you make that stupidity pay? Do you now offer gunpowder filled shotgun shell kits with a signature lighter? LMAO!!!
Wow…I think I have listened to about a thousand hours of tapes as well as spent hundreds – no thousands – of dollars to go to "functions" to learn about how to succeed in the MLM world.
I see this shit online now – same teachings. The interesting thing is how the promoters marry the true business and sales strategies to the endorphin releasing, exhilarating sales pitches. It is still yes prevalent today, even in your pitches.
I don't mean that in the negative sense. With the things you teach and the products you promote there is still a sense of honesty and integrity to it. Ultimately, my upline in the MLM I was involved with had that same integrity. This ultimately took me away from the MLM and taught me enough about sales to make me great at sales and taught me some life lessons that have blessed my family with success we would have never had without it.
You are still on my "short list" of people who I take seriously. Your articles and teaching are the real thing and for that I say "Thank You!"
You said – "Sometimes things which at first seem heaven-sent turn out to be rotten to the core."
Unfortunately I mucked through one of those a couple years ago. Cost me $30K and more importantly it made me question my judgment and cost me some reputation. More costly than $$.
I'd like to think I'd see through the toxic, manipulative, self-serving, mind control emperor with no clothes next time. No one likes to feel the fool.
Persuasion skills in the hands of no-goodniks are a dangerous thing.
Becki
Perry,
I loved your post about the value of mining our stupidity and our failures for their full value. Most of us try to pretend the incidents never happened.
I can complement your gunpowder story with many that are stupider. Including the time I put a shotgun shell in a vice in my dad's workshop and hit the primer with a nail and a hammer to see what would happen. Did you know that when the shell's outside the shotgun's chamber, the primer explodes backwards toward your face? Luckily, I'd emptied the shot from the cartridge before I did this.
I've spent the past few weeks going through the same masochistic exercise as you — by remembering some of the inglorious moments that honesty won't allow me to forget.
If you'd like to read about additional lessons to be learned from setbacks and stupid mistakes, I've got a few posted on my new blog. You can be the first visitor to leave a comment. Or the third visitor ever to visit it, after my brother and me.
I love your blog.
–Scott Silverback
Hi Perry,
Great point indeed. Thanks for sharing.
Yes, most people like to forget about their mistakes because it doesn't feel good to remember them.
But then we end up making them again and again, and this sure doesn't feel any better.
So when I make a mistake and I realize it, I analyze it and learn from it. And you know how our biggest and most valuable experiences usually comes from our biggest mistakes.
All the best,
Ladan
Perry, It's about time you read one of the great books of all time, Atlas Shrugged. Timeless in nature and very pertinent today.
Thomas,
I'm reading Atlas Shrugged now….
Perry
This is funny:-)
I really like the part about MLM. When I was in college I participated in many MLM (or Network Marketing) schemes. Easy by easy I figured out how they mislead the poor bastards who try to make a buck. I got totally disappointed and burnt out. When it came to my final year in college I had to write some theses in order to get my degree. I had a choice of writing on "How to Increase Milk Production in a Medium Sized Farm?" or "Why is MLM is a Scam?". Well, since I was going to a university focusing on agriculture and agribusiness, my project leader obviously turned down the choice that I really liked. Instead, I was writing about milking machine efficiency, udder size growing hormone therapy and automatic feeding technologies….
Anyway, those fun times are over, I did learn a lot about creating good business plans and measuring efficiency, but one day I will still going to write that article about MLM… I do enjoy reading your stories, Perry and I definitely want to show up at one of your seminars when I have a chance.
Atlas Shrugged is a great book. I love it! I read it two times when I lived in Nebraska. In fact, I entered an essay writing contest for a scholarship on Atlas Shrugged.
Perry,
It's a funny thing how most everything has a cause and effect. I'm 51 and have had an awful bursitis in my shoulder for the last several years.
One night while I was pondering why this has happened to me, I had a revelation… All during my 20s and for a good part of my 30s, I used to love having shoulder punching matches with my good friends. I'd always be up for a hearty exchange of hard hitting shoulder punches; used to do it all the time. I had forgotten about that until recently.
Two other interesting related incidents, in my 20s, I noticed that several pairs of pants (nice ones I might say) had a small tear in the same place. At first I didn't know why. At some point I realized that they were being worn in that spot from the rubbing against the small metal hinge of my sample case that I carried around 6 days a week from my car to homes on sales calls.
At another point, I noticed my neckties were all showing wear in an odd middle spot in the same place. Why? I asked myself. It turned out that my new Camry at that time had an automatic seat belt that would gently rub against my ties every time I got in and out of my car! I had to learn to lift my tie above the belt each time I closed my car door to save them from that wear.
These revelations were enlightening to me because they stressed how much cause and effect plays a role in our lives and how we often don't understand why.
We need to apply critical thinking to our business status every day. Everything has a reason.
I spent a few years at various MLM programs and I have some interesting opposing thoughts. I'm curious of your viewpoint on these…
1. Even though some succeed in MLM, the human flotsam left in the wakes of their success doesn't justify it.
2. On the other hand, doesn't this mirror life in general? You yourself have stated that the majority of people don't do what is required to truly succeed. Does this point justify the success of the few in MLM?
The one thing I have learned about falling for scams in MLM is read the blurb and read it again the last one I got caught with It was just one word.
I could earn the money back again and again but I am not prepared to scam lots of people like I was.
Good post, Perry!
"Make Stupidity Pay!" I like that phrase. It rings lots of bells. But, like many things, if you take it out of context, it can be taken a different way: make others' stupidity pay. That certainly could be a mantra for MLMers. Do a little more tweaking, and it becomes a politician's fantasy phrase.
That's why I like your posts, Perry. They make me THINK. That tends to be a solid gold commodity these days!
Hi Perry,
I'm just coming out the other side of the MLM delusion last year. In late '08 the reality of what makes the network marketing industry so addictive, hit me like a ton of bricks.
I learned a lot from my years (and years, and years…) in MLM, and agree that it's better to be open about our experiences than to try and sweep them under the rug.
Thanks for the reminder that most MLM success stories are not all that they're cracked up to be. Too bad most who are entrenched won't read it, or won't believe it if they do.
Happy new year to all!
Be well,
Tracy
Hi Perry. Like all of you emails and posting its great content. I did the MLM thing years back, it only works if you are standing next to the guy who is at the top. He was the one that could convince new prospect that $80.00 for pills was good value. I never worked out how he did it and that experience was another life time for me to try and work it out. It is the art of persuasion that is key and on the Internet world that means copy and content. thanks for doing.
Hi Perry,
This is a great personal development lesson and a great headline for it: "Make Stupidity Pay."
I'd like to add some ideas to that:
1. Making a mistake and learning from it are really two components of a deal:
The mistake is the prepay and the learning is the delivery of what you have payed for.
Making a mistake and forgetting about it is like ordering and prepaying a car and then forgetting to pick it up from the car dealer…
2. "Make others' stupidity pay" as mentioned by
Al Sinden above is also a good headline, but it should only be applied in the sense to learn from other people's mistakes.
But it should never be applied in a way to exploit other people's stupidity. This would be immoral and will also backfire…
Thanks for your insightful posts,
Chris
Perry,
Wonderful post, I am certainly a big believer in learning from the past. It seems like the reflection of many years gone by can even bring out new lessons learned than when we look at the incidents right after they occur.