Had breakfast with a friend this morning, not even one hour ago. We’re chitchatting and I ask, “How’s your parents?”
She rolls her eyes and tells me this story.
“When Michael Jackson died my mom went into mourning. My mom applied for temporary disability at her job so she could mourn Michael Jackson’s death, and has spent the last four weeks laying on the couch under a blanket.
“She went to Wal-Mart, she went to Target, she went to K-Mart, she went to the music stores and she bought every Michael Jackson thingie she could lay her hands on, every CD, every magazine, every book. She said, ‘Some day this stuff is all going to be a collectors item.’
“On Sunday dad said to me ‘hey you wanna go out for breakfast’ and I said ‘no, cuz I don’t want to spend the whole breakfast listening to mom blather about Michael Jackson and if I have to listen to any more conversations about Michael Jackson I think I’m going to say something I’ll regret. Sorry dad…. don’t want to do breakfast.’
“Mom is constantly saying, ‘I feel so sorry for Michael, he had such a hard time.’ I say, “What about YOU? Haven’t YOU had a hard time? What about ME? Haven’t I had a hard time? What about the bum out on the street corner asking you for a quarter. Hasn’t HE had a hard time?”
My friend looks me in the eye and shakes her head in disbelief. WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU, PEOPLE? You think that because Michael Jackson died, we’re supposed to send you a CHECK?
There’s this woman from Seattle, Erica Warmbrunn. She graduated from college and had a ‘nice’ job as a legal secretary or whatever, and after a couple years of that she’s like “OK so is this all there is to life? Getting my Starbucks fix in the morning and giving polite meaningless greetings to people while I answer the phone all day?”
She goes to the bike store and says to the guy “If you were going to ride a bike through Mongolia which one would you buy?”
He says, “That one” and she says, “I’ll take it.”
She has it shipped by air to southern Siberia and she literally rides her bike through Mongolia.
A single woman, all by herself.
(I like women with balls, how ’bout you?)
And not only does she ride through Mongolia, sleeping in a gur as guest of whatever family will take her in, she continues on her bicycle all the way through China to Viet Nam. She tells this fascinating tale in her book “Where the Pavement Ends.”
When I first met John Carlton we would have conversations about how for years he would write copy for six months of the year, then play in a rock band with his rowdy friends the other six months of the year.
He would encourage me: “Dude, climb out of your tiny comfortable box and get out there and mix it up. It keeps you spicy and fresh and it enlivens your writing and it keeps you from sleepwalking through life.”
Didn’t take much to convince me. One time I took my 8 year old daughter Tannah to China. We’re in Beijing and the Lonely Planet guide says there’s this really kooky restaurant called A Fun Ti that you’ve just got to check out.
This restaurant is half Chinese, half-Middle Eastern, culture and cuisine from the far northwest Xinjiang province, near Kazakhstan.
Most folks might assume China’s a pretty homogenous place, but nothing could be further from the truth. They’ve got a Middle-Eastern part too.
So Tannah and I show up on a Friday night – the place is packed.
They’ve got a whole middle-eastern show going, guys and gals in costumes and fez hats and an emcee introducing musicians and leading dances.
(Ever heard “Happy Birthday” in Farsi?)
A bunch of guys come up on the stage and they have a beer-drinking contest. The winner is whoever evacuates his mug first through a straw.
A winner is declared. They blindfold him and sit him down on a chair.
Out comes a belly dancer with a live snake. This man has absolutely no idea what’s going on, all he knows is that strange music is playing.
He sits there innocently while the audience roils with laughter, and the belly dancer twirls and contorts in front of him.
Then the snake slithers off of her neck – on to his neck. They take his blindfold off, and oh my, what a lovely surprise! YAY!
Then they clear the stage, dim the lights and the music system starts playing Who Let The Dogs Out.
Suddenly, as though summoned by some invisible signal, everyone stands up, climbs up on top of their table and starts dancing.
After we left, we were walking down the street and Tannah says to me “You know Dad, Mom would NOT like that place at all.
“Mom would NEVER let us dance on top of the table!”
“Tannah, that’s right, I don’t think Mom would like that place either.”
EVERYONE has a thirst for adventure.
EVERYONE has wanderlust.
You will do one of two things with your wanderlust and thirst for adventure:
1) You will live vicariously through the life of someone else and when he takes too many meds and gives himself a heart attack, your screen will go blank and suddenly everyone will know you’ve been living your entire life in a sleepwalking haze.
2) You will live YOUR adventure and whether it goes north or south, east or west, succeeds gloriously or fails miserably, you will at least die knowing you lived YOUR adventure, not somebody else’s. You will not regret living some safe, mediocre substitute excuse for a life. You will have been wide awake.
Wide awake in America or England or New Zealand or Brazil or wherever you live.
And here’s the ironic part:
If YOU are wide awake and YOU live a real life, others will live their pretend life through you. (It won’t be your fault. And frankly I think it’s better if they live their life vicariously through you than, say… Michael Jackson.)
An old copywriting maxim says, “Most people don’t meet interesting people, visit interesting places, or do interesting things. As a copywriter you must create these experiences for them.”
Amen, brother.
So… how you gonna express adventure to other people if you don’t live it yourself?
How you going to lead people into the world of promise and excitement if all you’re doing is politely answering the phone and getting your Starbucks fix every morning?
Please understand what I am not saying:
I am not saying, throw caution to the wind and abandon your wife and kids. Nor do you have to literally ride your bike through Mongolia in order to have an adventurous life. (Though have to admit I’ve not stopped thinking about that book since the day I read it…. :^)
I’m not even saying you have to buy plane tickets to somewhere to have an “real” life.
I’m saying:
GET RID OF THIS IDEA THAT EVERYTHING YOU DO IS SUPPOSED TO BE SAFE.
How’s this for dangerous….
Pick some topic that you’re passionate about, something you believe in, something you have a VERY strong opinion about (like politics or religion or abortion or elementary school kids sucking down Ritalin or whatever)… go to an online discussion board, sign up with some anonymous screen name, and take the OTHER side of the debate.
The OPPOSITE side you usually take. The side that you HATE. The side that makes your skin crawl.
Climb inside the other person’s skin and be them. Just for one hour.
Passionately argue the other side.
(Is that too scary for you?)
I promise you, you WILL see things you had never seen before. The scales may even fall from your eyes.
You can go to confession afterwards, if you must.
But I promise you, you will live an adventure – for just one hour – that 99% of people never live.
Dude, your world is too small. Even if you’ve been to 20 different countries and have friends all over the world, your world is still too small.
On your coffee break today, while you get your Starbucks fix, crawl outside of your cubicle and live an adventure. Even if it’s just a micro-adventure.
And if you’ve got wanderlust of whatever variety, stop stuffing it down.
And whatever you do, do not live your life vicariously through some actor or artist or tragic pop star. You are the star of your own movie, and the only one who gives out academy awards for your movie is YOU.
Carpe Diem. Seize the day.
Perry Marshall
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About the Author
Perry Marshall has launched two revolutions in sales and marketing. In Pay-Per-Click advertising, he pioneered best practices and wrote the world's best selling book on Google advertising. And he's driven the 80/20 Principle deeper than any other author, creating a new movement in business.
He is referenced across the Internet and by Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, INC and Forbes Magazine.
52 Comments on “Wide Awake in America”
Another great article by Perry.
Miscellaneous note: Anyone catch the U2 reference in the title (which I’m wagering was intentional, though I could be wrong)?
“Wide Awake in America” is an EP that includes what is possibly U2’s most powerful song, “Bad,” which is ironically also the title of a Michael Jackson hit.
I had actually not made the “bad” connection….
This just reinforces my crazy idea to travel from London, England to Tokyo, Japan. By train. Here is a map of the routes. scroll down a little map is in the middle of page.http://www.seat61.com/Trans-Siberian.htm#three
Two points
1/ Perry – the sentiments are good however i have to say with uot money in my experience living life to the max is very difficult. I dont mean 5 star htels i mean 1 star but in a remote location or exciting place.
Create a plan focus and execute then sieze the day month or years.
I planned and took 6 years away from paid work (i never stop working on ideas plans etc) at aged 42. No way was i going to wait to 65 have cancer or a heart attack and not do the evnture i wanted to.
regards and as always great work you do educting us all Perry
Steve Wyman
Just spent 4 weeks in Thailand backpacking to 7 differebt islands. No agenda and no reservations…just made it happen.
Completely freeing!!!!
One day as I was working a lowly bank teller job in LA in 1999, I had dropped into my lap the opportunity to go to China and teach English at a luxury hotel to an all-Chinese staff, for a minimum 6-month commitment. I could stay longer if I liked it.
I initially turned it down. Told my manager about it the next day. He almost punched me. Said there wasn’t a person in the building who wouldn’t drop EVERYTHING to go do this if *they* were given the opportunity.
I decided I really wanted to do it. So I did. Never regretted it. Showed up in January of 2000 and stayed 4-1/2 years.
Since making that decision and deciding to see the world I’ve slept in a lot of strange beds. Had a lot of strange conversations with a lot of weird people from all parts of the world. Eaten a lot of strange foods. Been on a lot of strange trains, planes and automobiles. Gotten through a few tight scrapes and close calls.
But I’m a different person for it. When opportunity drops in your lap. Take it. When you come to the fork in the road, as Yogi says, take it. And don’t look back for a second …
Perry,
Thank You.
I’m not your most profitable customer but you have helped make me wealthy.
Not necessarily rich monetarily but rich in time and adventure plus I often get to live like a millionaire!
You see I ‘moved on’ from traditional business life a couple of years ago to embrace life an indie musician/singer songwriter/worship leader and, as I write this, I have just returned from the first leg of what is turning into a world tour.
I live in Ireland and have spent most of the last month traveling with my family, seeing parts of America that I never would have visited as a tourist. Meeting and staying really interesting folks and sometimes wondering why on earth I waited until my mid forties to do this.
The amazing thing is that a lot of the marketing that currently drives this for me comes from one self liquidating Google adword campaign, that costs me less than $20 per month and has no competition, plus an auto responder sequence!
I’ve been meaning to write to say thanks for a while but this post has tugged my conscience to finally put fingers to keyboard.
So again, thank you.
Cheers – Andy
P.S. the next 12 months include Eastern Europe, England, Singapore, Australia & NZ and back to the US!
All I can say is: YESSSSSSSSS!
So your point is: Do something that makes you uncomfortable.
I can agree with that. It’s very eye opening.
I have a question. How comfortable or uncomfortable are you with so many people praising you to the moon for your writing? Is it one of your “StarBucks” fixes?
You wrote:
“Dude, your world is too small. Even if you’ve been to 20 different countries and have friends all over the world, your world is still too small.”
The way you put that, that applies to you too. I have been to more than 30 countries but I also moved to another country. THAT makes your world bigger beyond your imagination. I believe you have relatives that has lived in another country. Maybe they understand what I mean.
Peter,
Great question. Of course I love getting accolades for my writing. You could call it my Starbucks fix if you want.
I also put myself in the line of fire. For example, wander over to http://www.cosmicfingerprints.com/blog and check the blog comments over there. I get an awful lot of the exact opposite. Do a search for – perry marshall atheist’s riddle – and you’ll see just how much those guys, uh, love me. The hostility is so thick you could pump it through a hose and put out fires with it.
I am most definitely not staying inside the confines of my comfort zone and you shouldn’t either.
Perry
Don’t worry about me. I’m in no way staying in the safe zone. That’s not even possible when you own your own business I think. That’s part of the deal.
You are an excellent Sci Fi writter ;), Mr. Marshall…
I like so much your letters :D
Congratulations!
Hi Perry,
I can appreciate the point you make in this post Perry. I would like to add another one.
Very few people get to be a tenth as good in anything they do as Michael Jackson was at what he did.
Michael started singing at such a young age I heard his music as a pre-teen, a teenager, young adult and now into my middle age. He was undeniably great.
Music has a way of penetrating into the DNA and become a part of who you are. Michael’s music and dancing influenced every stage of my life and it became a part of me.
I can say with confidence that the fan outpouring of emotion we witnessed would have been considerably more had Michael died ten years ago, similarly to what we saw when Elvis died.
Nevertheless, although he was never convicted, the accusations and repeated allegations in the last years of his life left a sour taste in my mouth.
The lesson here is that it just takes one mistake to tarnish a lifetime of success.
(Just something to think about while we are dancing on the table…)
http://bit.ly/11Wqfc President Obama views on Michael Jackson.
Sometimes the adventure that you are talking about Perry can be experienced without leaving your front door.
Perception has alot to do with adventure and there are so many things in our day to day life that can be either seen as an obstacle or an adventure.
But, hey… random overseas trips never hurt either….
Way to go Perry – thats why I love Sarah Palin, she’s got big ones too! Me and my family have left Tasmania (cold south) and gone to the top end (hot, tropical, dundee country) and we are house parents to 10 aboriginal kids. I’m going to write my book up here – your an inspiration and a diamond!
How does one draw the line at what is acceptable to one’s life’s partner?
I.e. just where is Perry allowed to take their daughter before her mother has veto rights?
Interesting question to resolve. Where your rights end and your partners begin.
Right on, Perry!
Helen Keller said it most eloquently, quoted from memory: Security is an illusion. Life is either a daring adventure or its nothing!
Ever heard “necessity is the mother of invention?”
Well, get ready Edison. The world as we know it is about to be turned upside down.
You can just forget about safety. There’s just one thing safe now. Your heart, your mind, your soul and your strength of belief in Luke 12:4.
IT IS SHOW TIME, BOYS AND GIRLS.
Unfortunately, most of you will be made to weep because Perry’s message comes much too late. You’re all boxed in. Perfectly frightened.
Well, if you must, stay that way. But keep your mouth shut up. Don’t say a thing. Believe it or not, you might do your most good in silence.
Thank you, Perry.
I wholeheartedly agree. So many experiences await. One life, live it.
Long ago not many people could travel far from home. Now it is so easy to go to new places. I know many people who have lived so close to home all of their lives. They don’t understand how I can go out into the unknown. But I can’t understand their lifestyle either.
Today with the New Media it might be more pronounced than in the past. People live their life through others adventures via blogs, videos and such. From experience its just not the same.
Wide awake in Siam.
Now that I’ve accomplished one dream, getting more than one book published (3 so far,) other old dreams are cropping up. Like learning how to be a screenwriter and pursuing more of my artistic talents such as painting and pottery…
BE WARNED!! Following your dreams can become addictive! ;-)
LOVED the article! Just about to get into my day and feeling a bit ho-hum about it. Feeling hugely revitalised now. I have spent a lot of time doing exciting things, but for the last couple of years, got the mortgage, job stress, financial worries and have done nothing. And didn’t really “get” why I was feeling a bit (a lot) jaded. Now I know. Strange how we can’t see what’s right in front of our eyes sometimes. Thank you!!
Henry David Thoreau had some great insight into this problem. Describing the problem, he said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
Offering his own solution he observed, “I came into this world, not chiefly to make this a good place to live in, but to live in it, be it good or bad.”
To summarize his advice, our world is meant to be lived in. We should not sleep-walk through life.
Wow – you’re right. We’ve been saying, “Someday we’ll go to…” for most of our lives. What are we waiting for? …our kids to get grown and gone? …too old to care any more? I need to start taking my son places now!
Thanks!
Sharon
What we’re really talking about, Perry, is forgetting about the masks and pretenses and following whims. Bravo. That’s inspiring.
As the famous British statesmen, Bernard Baruch said when asked about his distinguished political and business life success:
“I buy my straw hats in autumn.”
Earl Nightingale said pretty much the same:
“If someone shouts, “Fire!” it is automatic to blindly follow the crowd, and many thousands have needlessly died because of it. How many stop to ask themselves: Is this really the best way out of here?
“So many people “miss the boat” because it’s easier and more comforting to follow — to follow without questioning the qualifications of the people just ahead — than to do some independent thinking and checking.”
Opportunity and happiness rests where our whims and passions lead.
A quote I picked up from somewhere just last week – that I now carry with me and regularly use: –
“Most people tip toe through life so they can safely make it to death!”
My own quote: “Create a dust storm where ever you go!”
David – Australia
Great Post Perry!
Heard it said that most men die at 25 but their bodies aren’t put in the grave until 50 years later.
Great wake-up call to live life intentionally and with passion.
Chris.
Very inspiring rant. There is something about that word “wanderlust” that just makes me want to go off on some adventure.
As Captain Picard would say “Make it so!”
FYI teaching English (as a second language) abroad is a great way to guarantee an adventure – everyday! I taught in the countryside of the poorest province of China for 2 years. The stories I could tell…
I also had adventures in Hong Kong, Thailand, Japan and Russia.
Rule number one – have a sense of humor – about yourself, and about life. As Perry says – seize the day. Great post Perry!
Ric
Bryan Todd did the same thing. Taught English for 4 years in China. ‘Twas the adventure of his life!
Hey Perry, great post, thanks for bringing the feeling back into me. It has been a long time and i just realized that it is time to be adventures again.
I’m pumped too!
Great post Perry. Life is way to short to live for some pop star. We need to start loving ourselves more instead or MJ or whoever fills the void in our lives. time to take a big scary step outside! Have some fun and live man live!
howtotreatcandida.info
Hi Perry,
Loved the post.
Read “Miles From Nowhere”
Take care,
Art
Perry
Great post! Thoroughly enjoyed it.
Perry – this post emphatically underscores a cultural phenomenon I have been noticing for the past couple months.
Have you noticed that one of the commonly accepted parting comments people make these days is “Be Safe”?
They don’t say “Have a great time” they say “Have a safe trip”.
Why is that that in one of the safest countries in the world, we feel it necessary and important to remind each other to Be Safe?
What kind of a box does it lock us in that we have to be safe above all else?
i’m pumped!
Great post! It reminds me of a trip to Mexico years ago where the folks were quite literally dancing on the tables. We had a wonderful time letting our hair down there. Keep on dancin’
Perry, that gave me FRICKIN CHILLS!
Seriously. Holy crap. And it couldn’t have come at a better time, either!
4 more days of a job that was taking me nowhere, 3 weeks of prep time, then I’m getting in my car and driving across Canada.
Left toe in the Pacific, right toe in the Atlantic.
And back again.
No big cities, no agenda, no plan.
A man, his car and a tent.
Can’t wait.
Thanks for stoking the fire within. Great post!
Paul
Awesome! This is why I can’t unsubscribe Perry. Even when told by you “guard your email inbox”, which prompted me to unsubscribe from about 15 lists, I receive tons of inspiration and focus from your emails. Thank you sir.
Hey Perry,
Nice post bud! Am always up for a challenge! :-)
Kind of reminds me of this quote:
“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, “WOO HOO, What a Ride!”
Hey Perry, that one was particularly inspiring. Thank you for a great post! At first I was like WTF has MJ to do with this? LOL. But you nailed it pretty well at end. Cool and refreshing copywriting man!
Simply awesome. This is one of the reasons I don’t unsubscribe… besides the fact that I really appreciate the insights given by Perry.
Shelt
Well you got to the point eventually but it’s a bit arrogant to suggest I need to get an adventure.
Every day of my life is a new adventure – I’m married, aren’t I? I’ve got children, haven’t I? I drive a car, don’t I? I read Perry Marshall, don’t I? If that’s not living on the edge, I don’t know what is!
I have an uncle who is extremely successful, but works eighty hours a week. His wife has a good time though.
You only get to live life on this mud ball one time. Make it count.
Paul
Eat Well. Live Well.
PurpleGreenPops.com
Dancing to who let the dogs out on tables… I need to go there! Hook a brother up!
Thanks for sharing Perry.
All due respect, women do have a pair, but I believe they are referred to as ovaries not ‘balls’. Thanks for your consideration.
Who tells a better story than you Perry? I hope that I don’t find out one day that you’ve automated your writing and it’s 50 Chinese guys in China spinning and spitting out your articles through some secret Google language translating web based software! I only keep emails from you and Seth Godin. They are the only ones that I find most of the time can help me get a better perspective in business. Keep up the great work!
Added to the list of famous quotes that can be taken out of context:
“I like women with balls, how ’bout you?”
:)
Great challenge, Perry.
Rod
Great Post Perry!
Love it when you rant :)
Later,
Caleb
Many years ago, when I was just out of college, I traveled through Europe alone using a Eurail pass. One late afternoon, I couldn’t decide which country I would visit next. So, I hopped on a train bound for Austria, Germany, and the Netherlands. I fell asleep on the train, and woke up the next morning stopped at a train station.
I had NO idea where I was!
And, frankly, I didn’t care.
Keep “dancing on the table”, Perry!
Great post Perry! I am in need of a life-refreshing trip at the moment, it has been too long. Maybe the Caribbean soon!
Rob