I’ve always suspected that whether people buy from you or not depends on things that have NOTHING to do with what you said.

Or what they saw.

Or your webpage. Or your photos.

Or your USP. Or your branding. Or anything else that’s “tangible” and “measurable”.

I think it has to do with your INTENT.

There are sound scientific reasons to believe this is so.

For almost 3 decades the Princeton University Engineering Anomalies Research Lab proved that humans, by concentrating, could deflect falling balls to the left or right by a measurable amount – at will.

They also found that humans could also “push” the average results of Random Number Generators +/-1% to 2%, just by concentrating.

All this with 99.999% statistical confidence. “5 sigmas” in statistical speak.

You can read all about this in a book called “Margins of Reality” by Robert Jahn and Brenda Dunne. Or you can listen to my interview with Brenda Dunne who ran that lab, on the Evolution 2.0 podcast:

There’s a sensational piece of copy from years ago written by Jack “Quick Kill” La Tourette, a martial arts instructor, that says…

“Have you ever seen a human SHOOT FIRE out of his eyes?” I’m talking about that “I’m going to devour you energy”, the intent (Chi) that a man eating Bengal tiger would project when he’s primed to let on YOU, his next meal. In his eyes you’re a juicy T-bone steak.

“If the tiger’s hungry, you get eaten. That’s it. That’s the whole story.”

He goes on to describe harnessing Chi to win fights. He warns about good vs. bad use of this power.

So…. What is Chi energy?

Nobody knows. The average scientist thinks it’s quackery. (Or maybe is just browbeaten into letting everyone think he thinks it’s quackery…)

But the Chinese medicine and Martial Arts guys swear by it.

As for me? Every time I’m feeling a little sick, or “off”, the first person I go see is my Acupuncture guy Nick.

Nick and I have a little routine. I go in his office and Nick says, “How are you doing?”

I say, “You tell me.”

Then he very very carefully takes my pulse on my left and right wrists, and then proceeds to tell me pretty much exactly how I’m doing.

His take is almost ALWAYS spot on. Then he sticks acupuncture needles in me. I lay there for an hour while quiet music plays. Then I walk out feeling great.

3/4 of the time, whatever was wrong with me isn’t wrong anymore. No meds. No surgery. No insurance forms. Costs $105.

So I got to thinking….

“There’s gotta be a way to harness this Chi stuff for MAXIMUM PERSUASION.”

So Nick and I got together and built a machine. It’s called the “Invisible Chi Energy Mastercard Money Extractor.”

It looks like a cross between an acupuncture table and a Hewlett-Packard oscilloscope:

Here’s how it works:

You’re doing a product launch. Or a super important webinar.

Or maybe you just gotta pay your Mastercard bill on the 28th.

And you’ve been feeling like the clients are sluggish lately. Not opening their wallets. Not signing up for stuff. Not getting with the program.

So… we wheel the Invisible Chi Energy Mastercard Money Extractor into your office.

You lay down and enjoy a relaxing, calming session with quiet music playing.

A white card is taped to the ceiling above you. The card says:

“It’s time for those wankers to buy NOW.”

The needles are connected to thin wires which are connected to the machine, which is connected to the World Wide Web….

And you focus your CHI energy on getting those stubborn prospects to ROLL OVER. And stop evading you with their silly excuses and lame rationalizations.

Nick and I have figured out how to channel that CHI energy from your acupuncture points to the internet to a-n-y-w-h-e-r-e your prospective clients may be viewing your offer.

In blind A/B tests, the CHI machine has been shown to increase sales conversion by 30% to over 300%.

Depending on the size of your launch, our $15,995 machine may pay for itself in one day.

If you sell an expensive, high-margin product, all you need is ONE sale and you’re in the black.

We only have 15 machines in stock. Because they are manufactured by secret tribes in the Andes mountains in Peru, supplies are strictly limited.

To secure yours, call Cuyler IMMEDIATELY at 1 (800) 01APRIL. This machine will catapult your “Reality Distortion Field” into the stratosphere – the asset which Richard Koch insists ALL “unreasonably successful” people possess.

Seize your prospects with Chi energy – and Seize the day!

Perry Marshall

PS – The reason you are feeling so compelled to buy this machine right now is because it is directing my Chi energy at you in a powerful pulsating laser-beam pattern.

You are powerless to resist.

PPS – The machine part of the today’s email is my April fools joke for this year. But the rest of it might be 85-100% true as far as I’m concerned. The Princeton research lab – 100% true. My acupuncture stories – 100% true.