MamaLaura snuggles our new daughter
December 4, 2011
The queen says, “Oh, how I wish that I had a daughter that had skin white as snow, lips red as blood, and hair black as ebony”.
Soon after that, the queen gives birth to a baby girl who has skin white as snow, lips red as blood, and hair black as ebony. They name her Snow White. As soon as the child is born, her mother the queen dies.
Orphan story.
A widowed prince has a daughter, Cinderella. She’s the subject of envy and anger from his new wife. The girl is ensnared by her governess in killing her stepmother and convincing her father to marry her.
The governess succeeds, and then brings forward six daughters of her own, who abuse Cinderella, sending her into the kitchen to work as a servant.
Orphan story.
Bambi loses his mother to a hunter’s bullet and mourns her loss.
Orphan story.
My buddy Joshua Russell is a film producer and teaches screenwriting at DePaul University. Josh sez:
“If you want to make your audience feel empathy for a character, inflict him with a wound. Take away a parent so he becomes an orphan – or at least half orphan.
Mama gives Zoe her first Marshall family breakfast
The view outside our hotel window. Someone’s raising chickens on top of the building on the right. The haze isn’t weather, it’s smog.
Have you noticed? Nearly every Disney story is an orphan story. It’s Disney’s #1 formula.
Disney’s not the only one. There’s Pixar: Andy’s favorite toy is Woody, and in Toy Story Three, Andy goes off to college and leaves his toys in a box. The toys fear Andy has outgrown them. They escape and decide to climb in a donation box for the Sunnyside Daycare.
At the climax of the movie, Woody and the other toys are then shoved onto another conveyor belt heading to an incinerator. Lotso coldly taunts them: “You guys are daycare center rejects and nobody wants you anymore!” It’s the long dark night of the discarded toy’s soul.
Orphan story.
Luke Skywalker gets his hand cut off by Darth Vader. Then Vader reveals his true identity: “LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER. Join me and the Dark side of the Force, where we can rule together!”
Star Wars is an Orphan story too.
In the story of Joseph, his brothers sell him into slavery, soak his coat of many colors in blood and tell his father he’s been ravaged by a wild animal. Traders carry him off to Egypt where he spends years in prison.
Orphan story.
Harry Potter’s parents die shortly after he’s born and he’s raised by Muggles. Only years later does he begin to uncover his true identity.
Orphan story.
In the story of the Garden of Eden, the man and woman shatter their connection with God, discovering their nakedness and getting cast out of the garden.
Orphan story.
The best part about China is the signs. Like this one on our window sill: “No Tossing.”
In my Niche Celebrity course there’s a section called “The psychotic weirdness of marketing, dysfunctions, and cult behavior.” It’s about identifying people’s woundedness – because the best kind of customer is a guy who’s got a chip on his shoulder, a deep insecurity, a desperate need to prove his worth. An orphan. (An orphan with money, preferably.)
In last year’s Karate Kid movie, the hero, Dre, has lost his father several years ago. He moves to Beijing where bullies pick on him. He has the good fortune of meeting Kung Fu master Jackie Chan and eventually wins the championship, earning back his respect.
In orphan stories, the orphan always has to bust his ass. He’s gotta earn his stripes and prove his worth.
Everyone can relate to this. Everyone has, in some way, shape or form, been dropped off and abandoned on the steps of some government building. We’ve all had to fend for ourselves.
Nothing’s quite so irresistible or relate-able as an orphan story. The problem with it is, you never stop having to bust your ass. You’re never sure you’re good enough. Deep down you always secretly wish you could escape.
Sign above the men’s urinal at the Kunming airport: “Warm Tips: Please Aim Carefully.” The urinal sign at the Lijiang airport said, “Please stand a little closer. It’s one small step for man and one giant leap for better civilization.”
Why?
Because eventually, everyone gets sick and tired of being an orphan.
What’s the antidote to an orphan story?
Teacher Anne Sullivan breaks through Helen Keller’s isolation of blindness and deafness, and transforms her student into a well-read, well-traveled, prolific author and influential woman.
Adoption story.
Not a literal adoption, mind you, but nevertheless a commitment of love and faith with reckless abandon.
Fearing for his life, Baby Moses’s sister lays him in a basket and floats him down the Nile river. The Pharaoh’s daughter discovers him, takes pity on him and raises him with the privileges of nobility. He goes on to liberate his people from slavery and become a great patriarch, celebrated 3500 years later.
Adoption story.
An unmarried couple gives birth to a son they’re not ready for. Another couple, Paul and Clara, adopt him at birth. The boy’s name is Steve Jobs.
In the Kunming airport: Two biographies on Steve Jobs in Chinese, including the “official” one by Walter Isaacson
Adoption story.
God becomes man. He sacrifices Himself for the redemption of mankind and achieves victory over death.
Adoption story.
Every day, you decide which story you choose to live in. Orphan story? Or Adoption story?
Laura knows a family who’s adopted a whole bunch of handicapped kids. Their motto is “The more chromosomes the merrier.”
Joe & Susanna Musser traveled to a Soviet Bloc country a short time ago and adopted a girl named Katerina. She is 9 years old, but because of gross neglect and malnutrition, she looks 1.
They have to introduce food to her slowly and carefully to avoid throwing her system into shock; too much food would literally kill her.
But they’re taking it a step at a time and in a matter of weeks they’ve achieved a minor miracle. See the pics for yourself: http://theblessingofverity.com/2011/11/free-safe-loved/
Who says love doesn’t conquer all?
In May 2010, a one-month-old girl was dropped off on the steps of a government building in the Jianxi province of China. She had 2 1/2 toes on one foot, one leg a few inches shorter than the other. We’d been chipping away at the adoption process for a couple of years, and earlier this year when we saw her photo, we said, “That’s the one for us.”
The local newspaper regularly lists abandoned babies. This one listed Zoe, who was 1 month old when she was left in front of a government building. Left, third from bottom.
Yesterday the director of the orphanage came to our hotel and gave her to us. We spent the rest of the day getting to know our little girl.
Laura and I prefer the adoption version of the world to the orphan version of the world. The version where you don’t have to earn anything or win any rat race to be valued and loved. God’s economy instead of man’s. We’ve chosen to live in an adoption story.
You know what a faith community is? It’s a collection people who’ve said to God, “I’m tired of being an orphan. I want to be a son. I want to be a daughter.” We’re all just orphans who’ve decided to live in covenant together as adopted brothers and sisters.
Zoe’s handling this with aplomb. The orphanage director says she’s outgoing and friendly and very smart. She quietly observes us, and she’s hung out with each one of us and the kids.
Last night we laid her down in her crib and she slept through the night without a hitch.
Boy, I was not expecting that.
I think she’s still in protection mode; today when we took her to a government office to sign papers, she went inside her ‘shell’. But we came back and gave her toys and her 7 year old brother started playing with her, she perked up and started babbling.
Laura’s posted a photos of yesterday, meeting our little girl at
http://compassionmama.blogspot.com/2011/12/zoe-has-arrived.html
and an update today at
http://compassionmama.blogspot.com/2011/12/nanchang-day-10.html
I have the most wonderful, adventurous life. I can’t express how thankful I am. Thanks for listening to my story.
Perry Marshall
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About the Author
Perry Marshall has launched two revolutions in sales and marketing. In Pay-Per-Click advertising, he pioneered best practices and wrote the world's best selling book on Google advertising. And he's driven the 80/20 Principle deeper than any other author, creating a new movement in business.
He is referenced across the Internet and by Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, INC and Forbes Magazine.
37 Comments on “Orphan Story, Adoption Story”
Hi! Let’s do good things together. We help orphans in Ukraine. Here is our page, if you’re interested – please visit our website https://hopenowusa.org/
Wow. Speaking as an actual orphan, thanks for taking advantage of the most vulnerable class of people in the world. This article is complete and utter bullshit. The only thing you got right – I am tired of being an orphan. There is no “adoption” coming – then again, I could see why desperate people would make themselves believe there is. Once again, people who are not orphans, stealing the actual orphan’s story. Nice.
I did adopt two.
Very interesting observations about the adoption storyline trend. I was well aware that Disney usually featured orphans. Some people think that they were doing that to create disassociation between kids and their parents. I know some cultures think Disney films are really messed up in that way.
From the Muslim tradition, also, Muhammad was orphaned at early age and raised his by uncle.
From the Hindu tradition, orphan story’s also abound. Krishna, Indians greatest prophet, was born in a prison. Krishna’s evil uncle, the local king, had seen in a vision that Krishna would defeat if. So the King imprisoned his mother. She, nonetheless, still got pregnant. When she gave birth in the cell, the guards mysteriously fell into a stupor and Krishna was taken away to be raised by cowherds. When the king discovered this, he had all the newborn children killed by a demon. (Sound familiar? Born in a cell (manger), immaculate conception, evil king wanting kill him, mass murder of babies in attempt to assassinate him… Christian missionaries to India used to claim the story was a rip off of Jesus’ birth, but the records were proven to date 3,000 years before Christ.)
Likewise, Rama (Indian’s 2nd most popular prophet) was cast away from his inheritance and kingdom and forced to live in exile for 14 years.
In the Buddhist tradition, however, Gautama the Buddha disowned his parents and his inheritance. Sort of an self-inflicted orphan story.
On a more modern note, Abraham Lincoln also lost his parents early on. Same with Ben Franklin.
Correction, sorry, Ben Franklin wasn’t an orphan.
Can’t stop thinking about this. (Hey, it’s my job to tell good stories.) I realized some other well known examples:
Superheroes…
– Superman: Sent away from home planet, parents died
– Spiderman: Parents died in plane crash, raised by aunt and uncle
– Batman: Parents died in dark alley, raised by butler
Other famous books…
– Anne of Green Gables
– Road to Avonlea
– Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz
– Little Orphan Annie
– Oliver Twist
– David Copperfield
– The Jungle Book
– Huckleberry Finn
Great list!
Thank you – that’s a great thing and your family is an inspiration.
We need more people like you and your wife, Laura.
Thank you for making the world a better place.
Safe travels as you and your family return to the United States.
Perry you will not truly know how greatly this will affect all of your children until they are much older, but you and your wife are demonstrating what true love is and their lives will be greatly enriched because they not only have been taught to love but they are experiencing true love – God’s love.
Thanks for sharing your story Perry. I’ve enjoyed seeing all the Chinese pictures. It makes me long to go there.
Zoe is adorable. She is lucky to have you and you are lucky to have her.
I wish you great joy as you get to know each other better.
Congrats Perry, the world needs more of these heart warming stories.
I wish you all great happiness.
Cheers
Ed
I had to grab a tissue after that last picture. Our son just turned 18 so it has been a while since I’ve had a little one around. Enjoy the moment! Thanks for sharing such a personal time.
As one of our mutual friends used to say… “Good on ya, Perry!”
In 1972, my wife and I adopted a baby girl in Mexico City. We’ll be celebrating her 40th birthday next year. She has been a blessing for us in so many ways.
+1 Adoption story!
@miguel pancardo – Best of luck!
Hello Perry and Laura, I personally want to Thank You
and Laura for your committant to this bbeautiful child
I also was an adopted child, i was one year old, I had
the best and the worst of family’s… my mother died
about a month after i was born, no father, my adopted granmother was a wonderful woman… so much for now…God Bless You and Laura…gene
in a word…..
beautiful!
thanks for sharing this Perry – a true gift!
Kym :)
My wife and I don’t want to have kids, but this I could see us doing one day. This is amazing Perry. And the Chenglish signs are awesome.
Perry and family,
Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your adoption experience with us. If only there were more who shared love as your family does.
Our Blessing, Adopted Daughter, came from Viet Nam. She was a bit older when we got her – 2 1/2.
The first month she was with us in the states, I scolded her for something and she said “You send Abby back home?” I said No. You are stuck with us. For good or bad, we will always be a family. This is your home.
In a moment, I watched her personality change. Her eyes lit up, she smiled, and skipped down the hall. I was amazed at the depth of her comprehension …
Thx for sharing your story.
Dave
Just wonderful, Perry. Congratulations and thank you for sharing.
Just beautiful Perry. In all the striving and noise and confusion of our daily lives, here comes a tale that reminds us to the core exactly what life is ALL about. Thank you for sharing.
You The Man Perry…you The Man…
and . . . Thank you for sharing your story, Perry.
Congratulations. How wonderful.
Perry, Congratulations. God has used you to show me and the world that we all come from God & business and God does go hand in hand. Even if we don’t have chidren of our own, YES. We are still responsible for all of them, and responsible to give them love.
Thanks tremendously for sharing Perry.
May God Bless you, Laura and family.
Gerald.
Congratulations Perry, Just a simple wish that you and your family will be blessed beyond measure :)
Congratulation!Perry
I´m very touchy with this great happy end and I thanks
the Lord for answering our prayers to see this wonderful
moment come true.I know she will be raise in God´s love.
She´s looks very sweet and my prayer is that God make
her whole and great.
My blessings to all you!
What a thrilling experience. Thank you for letting us observe. I can’t help but think about how you and your family will positively influence Zoe, and what a blessing you will be in each others lives. Thank You.
Congratulations Perry and Laura, on your new daughter!
This one literally brings tears to my eyes. You and your family are a true example of Romans 8:28. May God bless all of you and especially your new little one. Thanks for sharing.
Well that last picture is a real tear jerker!
Thank you for a such heart warming story (except it’s not a story it’s real…. which makes it so much better).
This is how life works. One tender gesture at a time. It’s wonderful that Zoe now has a chance for a rich life filled with love and possibility. Bravo, Perry and family!
Congratulations Perry.I`m glad for you and your family.There is not to much moments like this in our life.
Hey Perry,
She is very a nice baby . She got nice and blessing adoptive father and family.congratulation.
Your story has totally touch me, I have been thinking about adopting for a while, now I had the signal I needed, thanks,
Please come back and let us know how it’s going for you – and God bless!
I don’t think there is anything quite as touching as a baby sleeping on someone’s shoulder … totally priceless.
You have been trusted with a very precious gift – raising a child. It will be challenging and rewarding … when you encounter rough spots on the journey, pull out that picture of her sleeping on your shoulder … it will smooth out the rough spots and remind you of your blessings.
Thanks for caring for her! She is so cute. Congralutions!