Rewind 20 years. I’m a senior in college. I’m 23 and I have that entrepreneurial ADHD can’t-sit-still burn to do EVERYTHING and conquer the world. I’ve been married a couple of years.
I’m taking a full load of courses in engineering school.
I have a part-time job tutoring students at a nearby public school.
I’m on the Engineering Executive Board at the university. I’m also editor of the college engineering magazine.
A guy comes over once a week, usually around 10-11 at night. He pays me seven bucks an hour to tutor him on his homework.
I manage an apartment complex for a discount on my rent. I’m collecting rent checks from tenants and fixing broken stuff.
My wife has a full time job.
I’m in Amway too. Evenings and weekends and between classes I’m “drawing circles.” Every month we go to a rally. Sometimes I go on road trips to help my downline recruit people and I’m gone many weekend. Often getting home at 3am from some meeting 3 hours from home, sleeping for awhile and heading back to school.
I’m incessantly checking my voice messages, making phone calls. Yammering to my wife constantly about ‘the business.’
I’ve also dabbled in MLM #2 and MLM #3.
ALL our money is getting spent and more. We’re spiraling deeper into debt. We discover that a baked potato makes for a REALLY CHEAP breakfast and lunch.
I’ve got my hand in a couple of things at church.
I’m surviving on about 5 hours of sleep every night.
Some people pay me money to refurbish their stereo equipment.
I’m building my senior project in the engineering lab.
I’m sending out resumes to companies, because I’m about to graduate with my EE degree. A few of those companies fly me in to interview.
Laura hears a program on the radio about taking Sundays off, not working on the “Sabbath.” She says “Perry I think you should take Sundays off.”
“Laura, that’s crazy! I’ll never get my homework done. I’ll get bad grades and that’ll hurt my GPA. Sorry, that’s just unrealistic.”
So that was the end of that conversation.
We NEVER take vacations. We only go to business seminars.
I’m discovering that if you work 100 hours per week, you can do a LOT of stuff. I mean a LOT. Everything I just rattled off, I was doing in 1992.
If working hard keeps you from being a “bad guy” then I am fairly sure I’m not one of the bad guys.
I’m discovering that if you’re boiling with dissatisfaction and self condemnation and feelings of inadequacy and failure, you can just BURY those feelings in constant BUSYNESS. Ear to the ground, nose to the grindstone, shoulder to the wheel.
Well guess what:
All that frenetic activity exacted a HEAVY price on my relationships, my marriage, my finances and my sanity.
In fact it all just made me feel worse, because when you’re striving and your needle is running 140% in the red, what you get is just more frustration that it’s not working.
Stephen De Silva, at my Financial Head Trash seminar said: “You’re going to take that day off sooner or later. You’ll either take that day off every week like you’re supposed to. Or you’ll take that day off in a hospital somewhere when you get sick and your body shuts down.”
One of my customers chimed in: “Dude, that is SOOO true. My dad worked seven days a week for YEARS as a CPA. He was paddling like crazy. Then he got into some gray areas and did some questionable stuff and he went to white-collar jail for a year. He took his days off in a prison cell.”
Inspiration never comes when your fists are clenched.
It’s Memorial Day in the US, a holiday. This afternoon friends are coming over but like MANY entrepreneurs, like you, this morning I’m finishing up some stuff.
Suddenly this story came to mind.
So I’m going to finish working and enjoy the rest of the day.
Yesterday was Sunday and I was OFF.
You should do the same.
I offer my apologies to my long-suffering wife and all the other people who I barely saw for years.
The entrepreneurial life is going to be frenetic sometimes, but it doesn’t have to be insane.
If you are so bound by a sense of obligation, holding yourself to some impossible standard… if you for some reason believe that you are not allowed to enjoy life until you “become successful” … I must tell you right now that you’re making a big mistake.
YES it is fantastic to pursue a dream and to work hard for the future. YES hard work has its rewards.
But don’t make yourself and everyone else miserable on the way there.
It is not worth it.
Jeff Paul said, “You meet the same people on the way down as you met on the way up.”
If you’re on your way up – or if you’re just TRYING to move up – make sure you enjoy and appreciate the people who are around you.
Especially your family. You know, those people in your house who put up with you.
If you love working hard, you need to play hard.
You can’t play unless you STOP working hard every now and then. And enjoy yourself.
The WORST thing you can do on a holiday is make yourself miserable and stew about your failures because you haven’t attained some goal that you falsely believe will make you worthy.
A very wise person once said, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.”
Carpe Diem, seize the day… you can seize it tomorrow. Don’t seize today, cuz it’s a holiday. Stop and just enjoy it.
Perry Marshall
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About the Author
Perry Marshall has launched two revolutions in sales and marketing. In Pay-Per-Click advertising, he pioneered best practices and wrote the world's best selling book on Google advertising. And he's driven the 80/20 Principle deeper than any other author, creating a new movement in business.
He is referenced across the Internet and by Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, INC and Forbes Magazine.
16 Comments on “A Cautionary Tale for Memorial Day”
Very valuable reminder, Perry–thanks. It makes me think of the late Richard Carlson’s advice (and I’m paraphrasing) to “let go of the idea that relaxed, gentle people can’t be superachievers.” Sometimes it’s not how hard we work–though hard work is essential–but how well. And a key part of working smart is knowing when to step back and take some personal time.
What does it profit a man to gain the whole marketing world and lose his own family?
Just need to correct something that you said Jeff Paul said about meeting the same people on the way up as on the way down.
That was actually said by Ralph Cramden of Honeymooners fame (or maybe Norton?)
Good one Perry, good one.
I should’ve read this earlier today. Worked all day on the yard and missed swimming with the kids, then I worked from 9pm to 1am and was so tired the last hour I only got done 10 minutes worth of work. Why do we do this to ourselves!?
I totally resonated with this one! I work harder than any of my friends and I accomplish a lot too like your article. When you work for yourself it all comes down to you. I did take the day off and went to a festival with a friend. Had many laughs and people watching was amusing. I am printing this one too as I need to stop paddling all the time and enjoy days off too.
Teresa
I’ve been reading “The 80/20 Principle” in an attempt to do exactly what you describe, Perry: getting the same amount of work done in less time. Then taking that extra time for friends, family, and myself.
Thanks for always sharing your wisdom with us.
We had our national holiday last Monday in Canada and I did take the day off. :-)
Truet Cathy has never opened his restaurants on Sunday and things have turned out quite well for him.
That is such a true story and it’s like of me exactly. I do nothing but work and never seem to feel like I have done enough. Website building, bookkeeping, sales, training …. on and on. We have a construction business and I feel if I stop paddling we will sink. But I am taking the rest of the day off and you are right!
Great advice! We’ve been having this discussion in a private FB group today – very timely post!
I just closed my text editor. Enough is enough. Maybe my girlfriend won’t kill me because of this article.
Just finishing up a job; then relaxing
Thanks for speaking the truth Perry.
Your emails are consistently the only ones I ALWAYS open, amidst the junk that is thrown at my inbox from so-called experts.
This post, among many others, is saved on my hard drive for future reference.
But this one hit me so square in between the eyes, I’m printing it off and framing it to put in my bedroom so I can see it when I wake up and when I go to bed.
Like the old wisdom says, “For what good is it that a man gain the whole world, yet lose his soul?”
Much love to you Perry. See you at The Top!
-J
Great White North
Thanks for what is for me a timely post, Perry.
As entrepeneurs we get so caught in doing what we do that it gets all-consuming and corrosive on health and relationships.
Thank you Perry! It is amazing how so much of what you write resonates in such a big way with me!! (in some ways, that is not good – like today)
I always, always appreciate your wisdom! Time to go and take the rest of the day off.
Thank you Perry!
Wayne
It’s fascinating how common the crazed wantrepreneur lifestyle is. I had it out of grad school and am grateful to have gotten my “days off” forced on me by the time I hit 30.
Thanks for the encouragement that quality of life, especially in relationships, is where it’s at.