We adopted Zoe three years ago, almost to the day. In fact we will arrive home this December 18 which is the same day we got home with Zoe in 2011. How time flies.

OK so how does adopting a kid *really* work?

The short version is, when you get past a certain level of red tape, they give you a password, you go into the membership site and you look at pictures of kids. You add one to the cart, check out and then go to China to pick him up.

The longer version is, you gotta decide what you can deal with.

It is FAR easier to get a child with special needs from China (or anywhere) than it is to get one with no issues. Infant with no issues from China = 6-7 year wait if you can get them at all.

When all of this started, before Zoe, we went through a big long list of birth defects. Can we handle this one? This one? This other one? When you have a natural born child, you get what you get. When you adopt, you choose.

It feels very strange to draw a line and say “This is what I can handle.” But we decided to take on issues that we can manage, treat or work around.

Zoe has a missing fibula and a foot that’s only half functional. We devised a prosthetic and it works great. No problem at all.

Jay, our new 9 year old boy, has dwarfism. So we’ve been watching reality shows like “The Little Couple” and getting hip to the little people world.

To be honest, I personally think physical issues are less of an issue than emotional issues. Some adopted kids have serious “attachment disorders”. Think of it like a piece of tape that has been stuck on and off so many different things that it’s not sticky anymore.

Some kids are never quite able to bond with their parents. In my mind that’s a lot trickier than dealing with a missing limb or something.

In any case, we’re doing what we feel called to do. And I’m very excited about it.

Laura initiated Adoption #1. In fact, at first I was like, “You want to do WHAT???”

This one was my initiation. I just felt we were ready and this was the time.

Our adoption with Zoe went like a dream. When we got her, she was 19 months and because of being in an institution, she didn’t crawl, she didn’t walk, she didn’t sit up, didn’t feed herself.

Within 6 weeks she was doing ALL that stuff. It was amazing to watch 6 months of progress in six weeks.

When I first met her – that very first few minutes and hours with our brand new daughter (now THAT is a crazy experience, let me tell ya) she was quiet, reserved, just mostly watching us. I thought to myself:

“She’s an introvert and an internal processor just like her mom.”

I can’t even tell you how wrong that was. She’s a flaming extrovert. Talks to everybody. Has an opinion about everything. Believes she’s the Center of the Universe. (I call that healthy narcissism. If people don’t get to have it when they’re 4, they spend the rest of your life trying to be an unhealthy narcissist.)

Over the next few weeks, Zoe blossomed.

I’ll never forget the first couple of weeks home. We didn’t let anybody come over to our house because a new adopted kid (especially age 19 months) needs to become really clear about who’s a family member and who’s not. You can’t have people coming and going all the time.

We were all a little jet lagged, so everyone would wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning and gather in the family room and hang out together.

It was so dark and quiet outside, there was so little going on, and we just started getting used to our new little daughter and baby sister. I remember her slinging food all over the place from her high chair (Look honey! We’re back to high chairs again!) and those weeks before and during Christmas had an otherworldly, eerie quality. It was like time was standing still for a little while before it rushed on again with the new year.

There’s nothing like brothers and sisters to get that young body moving and draw out her inner extrovert. Pretty soon she was chasing them all over the house and learning to talk.

So now it’s going to happen all over again, but Jay is 9. This time, I said, “Laura I think we should do this.” After some time, she decided she liked the idea.

A nine year old is a totally different deal. We don’t know a great deal about him, but we do know that he wants to stay in touch with his old friends. No problem there dude, we can do that.

I’m writing this from Bangkok, where I’m doing a 4-Man Intensive. When it’s done, I fly to Xi’an China where I’ll meet up with Laura, the kids and Bryan Todd (who speaks fluent Mandarin) and we’ll get our new boy the next day.

Exciting times.

I wonder what he’ll be like.

I wonder what stories he’ll tell.

I wonder what his friends are like.

I wonder what the orphanage is like.

I wonder what it’ll be like bringing him home to his new house, family and country.

We’re about to find out.

Stay tuned.

About the Author

Perry Marshall has launched two revolutions in sales and marketing. In Pay-Per-Click advertising, he pioneered best practices and wrote the world's best selling book on Google advertising. And he's driven the 80/20 Principle deeper than any other author, creating a new movement in business.

He is referenced across the Internet and by Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, INC and Forbes Magazine.