Category Archive

Claude Hopkins in writing his classic ‘Scientific Advertising’ spoke optimistically back in 1918 of a new day soon to come where old image- and brand-only corporate fluff would give way to sharp, crisp, lean, results-tested advertising.

That new day never came to the world at large.

The current economic mess happened because the motto in the financial industry was, “Screw the truth. Just get to the sale.”

I got this email today:

Hi Perry,

I am wrapping up my MBA, at {large state university} and cant help but think its completely wasting my time. Fortunately one on my professors has enrolled us into the “Google Challenge” – where Google gives $200 in ad words and we focus an actual marketing campaign on a live business. My question is this…

“The world is cheapened and diminished by most of the advertising and marketing that fills our heads with nonsense on every hand.”

Ad agencies degrade women into prostitutes; slogans state that some particular beverage will deepen the meaning of your life and provide soul satisfaction; and most advertisers just talk about THEMSELVES. It’s an exercise in ME – ME – ME and WE – WE – WE. US and OUR and OURS. Our heritage, our technology, our 25 years of quality and service, our methods, our approach, our family tradition, our superiority.

Most of what is said is utterly shallow, predictable and meaningless. It’s like, as soon as someone started writing ads, he shut off his brain and started speaking techno-latin.

There are so many ways to optimize your website and your sales message, it makes your head spin.

There are all manner of split testing programs, like Google site optimizer. There are ultra-sophisticated methods that optimize dozens of elements at a time, like Taguchi.

There are market research systems like Glenn Livingston’s. Surveys via opt-in forms or dedicated web pages.

There are programs like CrazyEgg and ClickTale, that make heat maps of your pages and show what people are clicking on, or even what images their mouse is hovering over.

There are heat maps made from peoples’ eye movements.

There’s Google Analytics, telling you how long people stayed on each page and the most common paths through the site.

All of these are very fine.

But there is a simpler way to find out not only what people are doing right this moment on your website, but ALSO find out exactly what they are thinking while they do it…

“Every dimwit editor who sees himself as the source of all dreary blanc-mange plain porridge unleavened literature, licks his guillotine and eyes the neck of any author who dares to speak above a whisper or write above a nursery rhyme.”