“The world is held together by moms and duct tape.”
A few months ago I sent a CD to Renaissance Club members, where Jack and Matt interviewed my wife Laura. Got more feedback from that than any other interview I’ve put out in years. Peoples’ favorite part was when she said,
“Every time Perry would have yet another a massive failure I’d go in some other room and cry, and when I got done, I’d compose myself, go out and support him.”
Ah, the joys of being an entrepreneur’s wife.
For years we rented a basement apartment for $150/month to a guy who worked at a nearby rail yard. He was ending his lease and he owed me money and he talked me into waiving the last month’s rent.
When I admitted this to Laura she grew very sad and said, “That was the money I was going to use to buy some new clothes, and now I’m not going to get them.” She hadn’t had any new clothes in years, and I suddenly realized, she’s right: I just lost her clothes money and I have no way to get it back.
Year 1 of our marriage: We did, I think, a decent job of adjusting to each other and building into a relationship that had already gotten some bumps and bruises.
Year 2 of our marriage: I started drinking the MLM pink koolaid and threw myself into it 125%. That, plus finishing my engineering degree, managing an apartment complex, editing a university magazine and me generally discovering “You can hurl yourself into LOTS of things, seemingly without limit” meant she had a very lonely life. This went on for a LONG time.
She stuck it out.
I remember one time, listening to the radio – I am quite sure we’d been married less than a year then, long before we had kids – someone was talking about foster care. Laura said, “I want to do that.”
“You want to do WHAT???”
(The thought of taking a kid for awhile and them ‘giving them back’ horrified me. S-C-A-R-Y.)
“I’d like to do foster care someday.”
Sure enough, between Bambino #1 and Bambino #2, we took in a drug exposed infant for three months, her name was Drea.
Of course Laura did 90% of the work, cuz she was at home while I was out slaying dragons and trying to sell technology. The state of Illinois paid us something like $200 per month for doing the foster care and she saved up all that money so I could buy our first computer with Windows that could get on the Internet.
When we were in debt to the tune of 18 months income and paying 20% interest on our credit cards – entering the death spiral – guess who went to her dad and asked him to co-sign for a loan so we could refinance our house and actually have a shot at paying it all off?
When I escaped from the Dilbert Cube one month and one day after 9/11, Laura’s the one that said to me, “THIS is your chance, Perry, TAKE IT.” She was the one who was choosing yet again to plunge into the turbulent waters of entrepreneurship.
Five years ago, Laura decided to ‘graduate’ from foster care to adoption. She plunged into the abyss of paperwork and bureaucracy, beleaguered by dead-ends and constant runarounds. (For example, our agency went out of business right after we finished our Home Study, so we had to start that all over again. Set us back at least six months.)
Five months ago we flew to China, and even though we’re otherwise ‘done’ having kids (Laura’s last pregnancy had complications, it was rather scary) we came home with Bambino #5. Laura’s got kids who are 16, 13, 11 and 8, and now a 2 year old tugging on her skirt all day long.
That, plus being assistant to the costume manager in a children’s theater production of “Tom Sawyer” that’s going onstage next weekend. 88 costumes, every one catalogued and organized by Laura. Running the financial side of our business, playing hostess when we have clients at the house, holding the fort down when I’m gone.
Laura has no interest in the spotlight, most of my customers don’t even know her name, all kinds of things magically get done without word or recognition.
But today I want to recognize my lovely and industrious wife. Solomon’s words come to mind:
She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Laura, Thanks for putting up with me. I love you and I’m so very proud of you.
Perry
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About the Author
Perry Marshall has launched two revolutions in sales and marketing. In Pay-Per-Click advertising, he pioneered best practices and wrote the world's best selling book on Google advertising. And he's driven the 80/20 Principle deeper than any other author, creating a new movement in business.
He is referenced across the Internet and by Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, INC and Forbes Magazine.
41 Comments on “Tribute to MamaLaura”
Happy Mother’s Day to you all.
You are a very blessed man, Perry.
Well done Perry. It’s encouraging to read posts like this one. Congrats to Laura and to you. Now keep on doing what you do, but make sure that your kids take the baton from where you are and benefit from all the road you’ve traveled so far and the time they will save by doing so.God bless!
Perry- You’re still giving rather short shrift in Your Bottom Line to Laura for…”all kinds of things [that] magically get done without word or recognition. ”
Let’s give it one more shot:
“Laura, Thanks for putting up with me. I love you and I’m proud of you”… and without You—I never could’ve come so far & accomplished so much in My Own Life.
-Mary
P.S.
In all the Mothers’ Circles that I’ve ever known… It was commonly acknowledged that among God’s Great & Cosmic Jokes is that— Our First “Child” that We Galz are given to raise up is… Yep—You Guessed IT— Our Husband…
Thanks for confirming that You sorta “Get IT”—too… ; )
Perry, well said! We all should give thanks for the woman who put her needs behind those of her family, I apprecaite your sentiment. Happy Mother’s day to Laura and all mothers!
That’s the most beautiful newsletter I’ve ever received Perry!
May you long continue to inspire and uplift!
Laura’s interview was brilliant.
Her unwavering support of Perry has touched even more lives than she knows, including my youngest Charlie (now 10).
Although I had a 25 year career in IT before becoming a PPC Consultant, he’s only known me working from home doing this “advertising thang.”
My wife has a full time career as a teacher, so I became the house-husband after the catastrophe of 2001 and 9/11.
I’ve raised Charlie, and I do all the school runs, kids clubs and activities, music lesson taxi rides, weekly cooking, drying washing, some ironing and constant dish washer cycles!
In return I get to set my hours, charge my own rates, pick or fire my own clients, work when and from where I want including my car, my hotel, my study or anywhere with an internet connection.
I’ve now become “permanently employable”.
With the technology now available to us, and our ability to create value for people needing it and prepared (happily) to pay, there have never been more opportunities.
Thank you again Laura and Perry!
Nice one Perry.
That was sweet perry , happy mothers day
This is lovely! I’m maxed out with two kids, let alone five, so I am also in awe of everything Laura balances! Happy Mother’s Day to her…and your family.
You are truly blessed to have a Proverbs 31 wife. I read that passage at my Mother’s graveside service on March 23, 2011
This is the best post I have ever read. I actually had a twinkle in my eye while reading this. May GOD continue to bless you both and your entire family.
The quotation of King Solomon was easier to read than most Bibles. It captures the heart of a spiritual woman, who above all things, brings glory to her owner and to her maker. Truly a priceless diamond in a haystack.
Thank you for this. I too can find joy in the emotions that may have gone into this writeup.
Thank you for sharing, Perry. We can never give the mothers of the world enough credit for all they do and are. They are truly the blessings of the Almighty on this earth. A profound Happy Mothers Day….
Perry, I think it must be about 4 years since I’ve been connecting with you over the web. You keep providing endless inspiration and such great content. There are no elephants in the room with you. You are always so authentic. I learn a great deal from you by going under the surface of what you are saying. For example, you are not afraid to share your humanity with us, the failings and inadequacies. We’ve all got them. You share them and help us learn. A lot of us hide them and pretend we are on top of everything when we are not. We all know that very few men (especially those who are fathers)achieve what they achieve without the support and help of a woman in the bacground. Not too many men openly acknowledge that as you have here. Thank you. I’ve shared your blog post on LinkedIn and Facebook. I wanted others to be as inspired as I was.
Perry:
Kudos to you for acknowledging your wonderful wife, Mama Laura. Laura may you be blessed as you serve your family and your community. May your tribe increase!
I look forward to meeting both of you some day.
Blessings,
Andrea Scott
“Mentoring for your success”
http://andreascott.info
Beautiful!
You are a lucky one, Perry!
And all of your children are blessed.
Did you know the saying: Children who are loved are children who are happy!
I wish you all the best for the future.
Happy mother’s day to Laura! (from another mother)
Hi Perry,
I believe there are essentially 2 types of relationships: 1) Transactional & 2)Transformational.
Type 1 – Based on getting – from each other and the world. Basic principle is scarcity. Our getting is about compensating for the scarcity we feel deep inside. However nothing can fulfill it, try as we might. So we move on to the next person to get from.
Type 2 – Based on giving – to each other and the world. Basic principle is Love – which is the essence of abundance. We support each other to fulfill each other’s potential (personal and spiritual growth)
Our primary relationship – EG Marriage – serves as a microcosm for all other relationships. If this relationship is working it flows out like a light to the world.
Perry, you and Laura are great examples of this. I am blessed to know you – you are both transforming the world in your own ways.
Blessing to you both. :)
What an inspiring story, Perry. Thanks for sharing it. You and your wife are very special for all you have done and are currently doing. And the lives you are touching are incredibly blessed, as well. It’s people like you, who not only live inspiring lives of unselfish service, but take the time to share those experiences with others in non self-serving ways, that cause great things to happen outside yourselves. You never know who may read what you share, have something inside click, and then go on to touch others’ lives bringing them blessings that they never dreamed of, and change their lives for the better. Bless you both… you are great examples for all of us to model!
Bless you and Laura. And may you enjoy many happy and successful years.
Morty
Hello Perry,
What a moving tribute to your lovely and selfless wife.
I was brought to near tears just reading what you shared.
Laura,happy Mother’s Day!
The world is better because of people,women,mothers, like you.
Barbara J. Henry
Beautiful tribute!
Perry,
What a wonderful tribute to your lovely wife!
Happy Mother’s Day Laura.
I am very happy for your whole family.
Best to you all…
Anton
Perry,
Sounds like Laura and my wife are cut from the same template.
Thank God for women like that, and that each of us got one. I thank God for my wife every day.
Tell her we said, “Happy Mother’s Day!”
John
Perry,
My wife too has been at my side through hell and back.
I am ever thankful that she’s always suported me, just like your wife supports you, and amazed she’s stuck it out over the past 13 years with me.
Take her out somewhere special, just you two, to a dinner, and print out and show her your blog post today…
My suggestion for you.
Rich
Dear Perry,
You and your children are surely blessed. What a wonderful wife and mother Laura must be. May God continue to strengthen her. She walks in beauty!
Best wishes,
Delores
You are lucky to have such a good wife.
And it was right on your part to show your
appreciation now in front of the whole world.
Hey Laura,
I’m guessing I am roughly the same age as you and Perry. I am going to tell you something you already know – but that is nice to hear from someone else, especially a total stranger.
When we were the age of your kids, we had no idea what it takes to be an awesome parent. The endless effort, energy, commitment, grace and unconditional love; the demands never stop. Now that we are parents, regardless if our own parents got it right or wrong, we fully appreciate what it takes, and most importantly, what it means.
Laura, those incredible children you have are huge blessings to you now, and you to them. However, they won’t fully realize how much of a blessing you are until they also become parents, and look to your excellent example for guidance.
Happy Mother’s Day Laura. Soak it up. You deserve it.
Peace,
Eric
Perry, now that was nice! My compliments, both for your chivalrous deed, and your good fortune to have a wife and companion so worthy of it.
Happy mother’s day to Mama Laura!
I have always considered myself lucky for having a wife that will support me with all the “crazy”.
I won’t say you are lucky, I think you are blessed.
Well said- you speak for many of us Perry.
Firstly a happy Mother’s Day to all you, especially Laura!
Secondly, Perry, and I have said this before if only by way of passing. You leave a few little tell-tales in your post above. There are things you do that make you the man that you are, and make Laura one of the luckiest wives out there.
Backtrack six years, sixteen years and twenty-three. I married someone whose idea of an argument was that it would last as long as it took for me to agree with him. It was that simple.
You can imagine it didn’t take an intelligent woman like me very long to realize that he wasn’t going to listen to me. Whatever I did or said, it would be wrong if it did not fit with his ideas.
I am guessing that Laura is pretty bright too, and for all your faults, for all your failures, there was one thing that she knew she would never have from anyone else. Your ear.
Believe me, there are things that are worth a darned sight more than money – and that is a good husband who is as grateful as he is giving.
Perry, are you by any chance related to a unicorn?
Hi Perry and Laura, The over used cliche, behind every great man is a great women, always compounds the truth that our God has a sense of humor bigger than the universe.When two come together in Holy matrimony they are sanctified and made one in the Spirit providing Christ is not pushed out by the cares of the world.
Thanks for letting Laura out the closet Perry.
I love you Perry
Perry You are a wise fellow. Behind every successful man is generally a woman. Thank you Laura
Happy Mothers Day to all mothers, Solomon-like or not…they are the planet’s real warriors who are never thanked adequately for their service.
Perry,
What would we do without them?
Gary B
Someday when I go to one of you 4 man intensives (it is one of my goals Perry) I will go to your house I will thank her for her support to my mentor :)
Hi Perry,
Laura is a very lucky lady to have a husband that values her the way you do! And you are so blessed to have such an amazing wife!!
God’s blessings you both and Happy Mother’s Day to Laura!
Take care and thanks for sharing your amazing life!!
Lisa~
Someday I’m going to get to meet this amazing woman. ;) Blessings on your family. Happy Mother’s day Laura. ~Shelley