Today I want to share touching note that I received from Ken Heikkila, a musician turned info publisher and entrepreneur. For years Ken had worked dumb jobs having given up hope on making a living as a classical guitarist.
Then he discovered that on the Internet he could capture an audience and not only teach his skills to others, but expand his customers’ sense of meaning and purpose.
During the last two years Ken has gone from being a very frustrated former musician to a happy and fulfilled web entrepreneur who no longer works dumb jobs, but teaches classical guitar instead, online.
That’s the business story. But there’s a heart story, too.
Fathers have a profound effect on how we see ourselves and what we become in life. Ken’s father never really understood him and never fully acknowledged his success.
We talked about this some time ago, and I told him: Ken, that may never happen. You may not get that from your dad.
But you can still give that recognition to yourself.
His father passed away a few months later, never having given Ken the acknowledgement that he desired.
Still, with the passing of his father he found a new opportunity to reflect on where he’s been. He wrote me this note:
Hi Perry…
You’ve been a constant source of the future for me in the last year and a half as a conduit for my life as a musician. for that I am forever grateful….Julie and I are indebted to you for the opportunity to make a living at what we love. We talk about it almost everyday.
My father passed away on January 18th after a long illness and I am just coming to the point where I can talk about it.
To make a long story short, I look back on the accomplishments I’ve had with Adwords and the chance my father had to see my ‘dubious success’ in his eyes. These are life’s moments.
Nonetheless, as I continue with matching keywords to ads to landing pages and see the psychology of multiple markets responding to a single keyword in various ways, I am reminded of how a father unknowingly influences the life of a child, permanently, unalterably. I think you understand this.
Adwords is about human suffering, not about information, it’s about the search for truth and I refuse to make my campaigns anything but….
And some forum posts condemn me for it….
I have come to accept that because the overwhelming response I receive regarding this is support. As always, I turn to you to express my feelings because you’ve been kind enough to make my story part of your fold and I am very proud of that… that perhaps my life could help another see something they would not have seen before.
A father should be the starting blocks for the fledgling sprinter in life. Good or bad, everyone of them is… in their own way, and the child always responds.. good or bad.
I chose the good…and I am glad he saw me come full circle whether he agreed with it or not. We are all nothing but a snapshot in history and I am extremely grateful for your vision and offering a life opportunity for those who are ready to seize the moment and face the truth in themselves. Your messages never go unnoticed.
Onward , Perry, ever onward…life is short and I don’t intend to waste a single minute of it…and I’ve had ‘professionals’ try to keep me from myself.
What a journey these last two years have been ! The release has been nothing short of amazing.
Ken Sakari Heikkila
Ken went on to write to me:
“There is a huge need for those searching for themselves in my niche and apparently that comes through to them as they visit my sites. Funny, I’m not selling my stuff as much as I’m providing a conduit for people to find their stuff. Often for the first time. Many in their 70’s and 80’s wishing they would have found me 30 years prior.”
They’ve been suffering for years, secretly yearning to take up guitar, and he’s giving them a way to do it.
This guy isn’t just selling e-books. He’s opening a door for people who’ve abandoned old dreams to re-invent their lives. To do for themselves the same thing he’s done for himself.
I want to highlight one more thing he said – if it’s true for him it’s true for you too: “I’m not selling my stuff as much as I’m providing a conduit for people to find their stuff.”
Bravo. He gets it. And so it is with you. Your business isn’t about you and your stuff, it’s about them and their stuff. Somebody decided to spend a few minutes of their life on your website. Give them what they came for. It’s a worthy endeavor.
Carpe Diem, Ken. Seize the day.
Perry Marshall
Share This Post
About the Author
Perry Marshall has launched two revolutions in sales and marketing. In Pay-Per-Click advertising, he pioneered best practices and wrote the world's best selling book on Google advertising. And he's driven the 80/20 Principle deeper than any other author, creating a new movement in business.
He is referenced across the Internet and by Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, INC and Forbes Magazine.
12 Comments on “The Death of a Father – The Release of a Son”
Tony Robbins helped me. He has some excellent info on how to manage our minds. As he says he provides the manual that nobody gave us to manage our brain. It works for me.
We are all human and whilst some of us never quite get to experience sadness, we do learn and grow from it when it does happen to us. We find so many remarkable people do care about us, although, in mainstream media circles we would never had thought the obvious. In my life many moons ago, my father started with RIO TINTO Mining as a chef. He later went on with M.I.M. Holdings in Mt Isa. When I was just two years of age living in MaryKathleen in Queensland, I awoke one morning to a disturbance. As I walked down the hallway of our mining house, an iron chord wrapped around my legs and a burning hot iron melted into my flesh. At the precise moment, I saw my mother eloping with another man. As I screamed with pain she simply closed the door on my world and slipped away through the confusion. As our dad could not work and look after three children he sent us away to boarding schools,thousands of miles away from him. I was based at Halifax with my brother Carey. One day we received a letter from our mother. I tore mine up and threw it away and for that, three nuns held me down and caned me until blood was drawn, across my neck. Not satisfied the devil had been flushed out, they locked me in a coal bin room for roughly three days without food or water. In 2005 I approached the Western Australian & Queensland Police Force to lay a claim of child abuse against the Roman Catholic nuns based in Townsville. I quashed the idea of claiming any financial compensation and in the process, I was able to remove the monkey on my back and pass it along. I then sighed with instant relief and got on with my life as I had always, but I was a changed man and I could accept responsibility from that point on. These attributes grow within us whenever we face uncertainty and no matter the heartache we feel, there is always an ounce of good in us that shines. We all share similar heartaches in life and we must accept the things we cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. This is what makes us who we are, our qualities, what we stand to lay our faith into and where we go from here. It is this which determines our future.
Hi Perry
If there is a relationship between parent and child without chance ever to be *achieved* in regard to absolute understanding,then we must reconcile to it.
Similar a rainbow in the sky we long to reach and look at ,with eager eyes.
Maybe,with years come through,fathers becomes more accommodating about their vision of child life.
I am not acceptable as i would like to being , which makes a feeling of handicap,but i always keep in my mind that everybody is not able to understand my nature,mind and intellect for lack of their own.
Thank you Ken, A touching story. A word, a single word can change a life. Be it good, be it bad the word will change a life.
I’m 60 yrs old. My mother is 86 years old. When she was 5 years old her elder brothers found her sitting in a stream near her home ‘talking to herself’ , they told her that she was mad, she believed them. For 80 years she has believed that she had mental illness. I don’t believe that she was sick, but she believed it and therefore it became her truth. A single word can change a life.
Hi Perry,
Thanks for sharing the( Father and Son) story.ould it be that the Father had difficulty expressing himself?
The Son should be proud of himself because (Music)
is good for everyone and he will be able to help lots of people by teaching them.
Perry,it sounds like God put you in the right spot at the right time to help the Son by helping and encouraging him.
That says a lot about you.
God Bless
Glenna C
What do I want to say, as I sit here with tears ready to fall?
I am deeply touched by the foregoing stream of words (and the feelings attached there), from Ken and Chris, Bob and Gregg, and especially from Perry.
I am new on this internet scene, an 82-year-old newbie–just started a business a couple of months ago in order to promote a primary business in health and wellness; but dating back several years ago I had an association with your name and your field. Now that I’m reading your distinguished volume, Perry, I know that I’m reading it for several reasons– for mixed with the subject matter is your personality coming through that speaks warmly from your inner self.
Thank you all!
Lottie
Ken–I was the black sheep of family. Always off to the next deal. But I kept searching and getting closer to the ideal business. My dad didn’t approve of all my different businesses because a bunch of them went out of business. But what he didn’t know is that after watching the movie “Dad”, I decided about 20 years ago to build a business so that I could take care of him if he got sick. I’m the oldest of 5 and thought it was my duty. My dad died two years ago and I spent the last year of his life with him most every day. He asked me one day near the end (as he was tearing up), “why are you so good to me?” I smiled and told him that I loved him and I enjoy being with him. He never knew that I set this goal twenty years ago.
Thanks for sharing and letting me share too,
Greg Colosi
I worte this for a mother who’s son was posted to Iraq.
In my arms
I’ve always had a son, since the second he was born.
He’s fighting overseas now and my heart is torn.
I remember his first hours when I held him in my arms, he gripped my little finger, gave a yawn, I held him in my arms till the break of dawn.
He always wanted to be a soldier, to uphold what is good and right, but I wish I could hold him again in my arms tonight.
Words alone can not express my worry and pain, so I’ll hold him in my heart till I see him again…
Bob Hilton-Lee
Perry Please share this with others. I write from the heart and conduct business with the same passion.
I find your story could be more compellingly told. I don’t believe you really make all that much money from doing that google advertising.
Wow! What a great post. I never pass up your stuff Perry. You always give us something to think about, weather it is internet related or life related. I have pass on your name to many of my new internet friends.
Ken, What a great story. What a great way to market, from your heart. You have shown many of us to work and live that way. Thanks for sharing.
If Ken is reading this, I want to thank you for sharing your poignant insights with us.
I found this line the most profound…
“Adwords is about human suffering, not about information, it’s about the search for truth”
Thank you.
Hi Perry,
If you’ll share my email address with Ken, I
can help him with the pain he feels from never
being able to connect to his father’s heart.
He sounds like a good guy, and he doesn’t have
to go through the remainder of his life with
that overwhelming sadness.
The technique is called the Emotional Freedom
Technique. I’ve used it personally to relieve
post truamatic stress for myself and others. And
interestingly, I’ve also used it to help people
I met at conferences who were obviously and deeply
suffering. One of these people has turned into my
largest affiliate, and a good friend.
It’s something I could do by phone for Ken, or
just point him to someone locally to help him.
But I can tell you that the feeling of not being
able to connect on a heart level with your father
classifies as trauma…as trauma is just deep emotion
that you are not able to process.
Best,
Chris Shaver