I’d been working at my first “real” sales job for a couple of months. Totally wet behind the ears. My boss scheduled a trip to Detroit to get me some sales training.
The morning of my trip I woke up with a start. It was 8:00am.
My FLIGHT was at 8am.
I lived 40 minutes from O’Hare airport.
I bolted out of bed frantically. I jetted in and out of the shower, pulled my pants on and Laura drove me to the airport.
Don’t you HATE that thick, sticky sensation of panic and adrenaline coursing through your body? A feeling almost like narrowly avoiding a car accident. Liquified stress throbbing in your veins. My head was numb.
As Laura drove, I booked a later flight from my cell phone and I stumbled to the gate just in time or a 9:55 takeoff.
I wasn’t the only guy who was frantic. Fred, my boss, heard from one of the other reps that I was missing. He couldn’t get me on my cell and he thought I’d gone AWOL.
I got to Detroit, rented a car and navigated the I94 expressway. I arrived at the firm (I was a commissioned sales representative for this company, you understand) at Noon Detroit time – just in time for lunch.
I had to know what had gone wrong with my alarm clock. When I got home late that night I carefully examined it. Yes, the alarm had been set. Yes, it had been set to the right time. Yes, the volume control was “up”.
So far as I could possibly tell, my alarm clock HAD gone off, just like it was supposed to.
And I hadn’t merely hit “snooze.” I had hit the off button and gone back to sleep.
I NEVER did that on ordinary days.
Nope. Just on days when it really mattered.
Why did I do that?
What was going on?
Have you ever done this?
I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts, below.
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About the Author
Perry Marshall has launched two revolutions in sales and marketing. In Pay-Per-Click advertising, he pioneered best practices and wrote the world's best selling book on Google advertising. And he's driven the 80/20 Principle deeper than any other author, creating a new movement in business.
He is referenced across the Internet and by Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, INC and Forbes Magazine.
71 Comments on “The Enemy Within: Self Sabotage”
Perry, I’ve had several self sabotage experiences in my life. Rather than focus on my past negative hand grenades I would rather share with you what I am letting go of right now.
It’s called the fear of money. I’ve had it twice and found a way to lose it all and then some. After digging deep into my emotions I realized that I have this fear around having money and the power that comes with it. My body is so turned off to the idea of being wealthy that I continually do things to keep myself from creating it.
Money = power
power = power over
power over = master/slave
so out of my fear of not wanting to be the master, I become the slave.
What does the slave not have but is always seeking?
Freedom!
So my life has come down to all work and no play and still not producing enough money to be financially secure. I own 3 ecommerce websites which gives me the excuse to work all the time as business is always open.
Being able to share this is allowing me to let it go. So I ask everyone, if you are not happy with your financial situation then take a look at what your issues with money is.
Thank you Perry for always sparking me to go deeper and look for the root of the issues.
Ken
I recommend a book I recently read: “Money and the Prosperous Soul” by Steven De Silva. Smashes this one square-on. Written from a Christian perspective.
Thank you Perry. I will go and pick it up.
Ken
Perry:
Yes, been there and done that. I have been a trial lawyer for over 21 years. One morning, I had a hearing scheduled an hour from my home and I, like you, had hit the “off” button on my alarm clock instead of the “snooze” button. I was frantic, like you, when I finally woke up and realized that the hearing was scheduled to start exactly at the same time that I had awakened. I jumped out of bed, showered, got dressed, and on my way to the courthouse I telephoned the clerk of court to have the clerk notify the judge that I was running an hour late. The clerk told me not to worry because the judge had called the clerk himself to let the clerk know that he, too, was running late. I learned from that experience, again, as I remind myself daily of now, that I am not in charge, never have been in charge, and never will be in charge. God is in charge and all of us operate on his schedule.
..do you really believe in coincidences Perry ?
Nope.
I used to live south of Detroit and I couldn’t get anyone to visit the entire time I lived there! I think if your flight would have taken you 1,000 miles to the south, say to Florida, you would have been early to the airport.
Avoidance is a powerful mind bender.
Kater
I had a really wild experience with my alarm clock once.
I was supposed to be on a very important, very early flight. I set the clock to go off on radio mode at some ungodly hour like 4am.
At about 4:20, it went off but on buzzer instead of radio. There was still enough time to get to the airport and catch the plane.
When I got home, I examined the clock to try to figure out why it went off 20 minutes late and in a mode I hadn’t set it for.
Turns out I had set it for 4:00 PM by mistake. Which means there was no reason for it to go off at all!
Kind of makes you believe in the existence of God, huh?
Hi Perry,
A friend of mine’s uncle had a problem getting out of bed inasmuch as he could wake and turn off his alarm clock and then go back to sleep without knowing it. So he moved the alarm clock further and further away from his bed so that he’d HAVE to get out of bed to turn it off. But then he couldn’t hear it.
So being a quick-thinking country boy he put the alarm clock inside an empty tin drum to make it sound much louder. And that’s how it stayed. In the tin.
Yes, the self-sabotager, the silent assassin, he’s an interesting character, and I know he lurks in my subconscious. I’d like to be rid of him. Someone above mentioned putting your subconscious in line with your conscious mind and its goals. That’s an interesting proposition and deserves further study. I wonder how the Self Saboteur would deal with that little plan?
“Just on days when it really mattered.”
For “days” like that, I simply place the alarm where I have to get up to turn it off.
Just a thought.
Joe
Hi Perry
MY sabotage mechanism…. I learn everything (and more than I can possibly handle, but that’s another story) but will not, … no cannot put them into practice. And there’s always a good reason too.
Something holds me back. Fears, doubts or I conjure up an ‘intelligent’ reason to not do it.
And just recently, the one time it really mattered that I got to go through a video in time, my computer failed me. This happens with frightening frequency…my computer faithfully fails me at the worst possible times. And I’m beginning to see a
pattern. I know something fairly deep needs to be worked on and exorcised for good.
Asha
When that happens to me, Perry, I just know I have to seriously look at that job, project or event because it generally means that deep down inside me I really don’t want to be doing it. It usually means (I’ve now learnt) that my motivation for doing it is coming from someone else’s needs or expectations, not mine. It is something I’m doing for all the wrong reasons. Missing “it” is usually a strong call from my psyche that I need to consciously (not unconsciously by turning off the alarm) give it a miss and get out – and quick before I “die” there.
I’m gonna post a follow-up story to this. I did have some misgivings about that job.
Yes Perry – I’ve had similar heppen but never thought of it before as self sabotage – interesting view.
Self Sabotage is a big challenge of sales people in particular especially when their values, beliefs and skills are not properly aligned. It can be very frustrating for the individual and for the company because while self sabotaging, you may also tick all the right boxes on paper.
For really important days, really I usually wake up half a dozen times before the alarm goes off and am rather groggy the next day.
More like a panicky feeling that I won’t wake up.
Hi Perry!
It is all in our subconscious mind.
I was 40 kilometres ahead in the wrong direction when it came to my mind that I was just missing one of those very coveted early morning appointments of my dentist(6:45 a.m). I apologized (his 70 year old mother is his assistant and she emphasised how early they had to get up to offer those early morning slots!) and I made another appointment.
You can imagine my horror when she greeted me with “Oh, Mrs Roters, I already thought you would not come, AGAIN.” I was late for a quarter of an hour (a whole appointment slot). But I thought I was there the right time, even with a bit of a reserve!
Should I mention that the next time I forgot my bonus card? (which means I had to go there one extra-time). This is NOT funny!
The next year for the regular check-up, I found myself in hospital from Sunday evening to Monday morning. Guess what was scheduled for Monday morning? (And I could not cancel the appointment, just ask my husband to call to explain why I had not come).
I really LIKE this dentist (although, in the meantime I took a resentment against the mother). Why on earth can’t I just go there?
Guess what I do now: Plan for more extra-time, double-check, make extra post-its everywhere, program my mobile phone alarm, and ask OTHER people to help me to be there in time.
PS: I normally wake up just one minute before the alarm goes off.
Hi Perry, I often had nightmares that I was due to go on holiday and hadn’t left enough time to pack, cancel the papers and milk etc. Then I was going to Prague in the Czech Republic with 3 university pals one year. I was up until 2 am on the day, due to having an assignment to hand in at uni the day before we travelled, so was left to do all my packing and organising after it was handed in. I set the alarm to get up at 6 am as we had to be at the airport for 8 am, and like you didn’t actually wake up until 8 am with the phone ringing off the hook. I too must have knocked the alarm off and gone back to sleep!! It took one almighty rush to get to the airport. Fortunately I had everything ready to rumble. Great blog and it’s nice to know I’m not alone!!
…so what happened after the smoke cleared?
2 years of mediocre performance as a sales guy, which culminated in my dismissal!
My thoughts on self sabotage Perry?
Well, firstly I am not sure why you didnt want to wake up on days ‘that mattered’ as all days matter for our lessons we need to learn. Every day is unique and new lessons arrive to be embraced.
I could get spiritual here but I wont as it is not appropriate on this forum however I am sure you will answer that question in your next email Perry :)
I haven’t missed a flight or that sort of thing, mainly because my father missed a flight. But this was back in the seventies when there would only be one flight a week to the kind of places he needed to go (he worked for UNESCO).
I made its mark because if I am travelling anywhere distant, then getting up early is the norm, making sure that I am at the airport with around three hours to spare and that sort of thing. I travelled out to Hong Kong recently and thought the flight was at 14.30 – only I had misread the time which was two hours earlier. I was rather flustered when I realized that I had almost no time to relax before the flight.
I am not a salesperson, I do not do frequent flights around Europe and if I should miss a train, there is always another in half an hour. Very boring, I know but that’s life down here!
You have become a master storyteller, Perry! With all due respect to the others, I’m not sure that “self-sabotage” is the right word.
I have noticed since becoming a parent that I had a lot of sub-conscious programming that needed to get changed. I would hear myself saying things my parents had said to me that I hated! The words would slip out of my mouth before my conscious mind caught up.
Maybe the sub-conscious programming comes from others–parents, grandparents, teachers and other kids in our lives. And, the way out is becoming aware of the sub-conscious programming and changing it.
Interesting.
My reply was going to be along the lines of – habits that normal fall into place on a regular day – but didn’t during the one time I was counting on it.
I must have totally mis-interpreted.
The replies seem to be:
Personal Alarm Mishaps
Self Sabotage Sermonette Solutions
Fear Will Ruin You
Glad I didn’t share a normal story about always being ready to take on any task a boss asks (within reason and HR guidelines) – unless it’s golf with two directors in 90 degree heat on a humid July 3rd Friday afternoon.
I should have been delighted when my boss said, “Hey! I have tee times at Super Impressive Member Only Exclusive Golf Course at 1:00pm”.
All I heard was the Charlie Brown teacher saying, “WAh WAh WAAAAAh…”
I may not have been late for a flight in Detroit. But it felt the same.
1. I HATE GOLF!
2. It was 90 degrees.
3. I came dressed for work in my corporate costume – skirt, closed toed shoes and expensive-look-like-everyone-else blouse.
BUT decided in to “play the game”
1. I put on my I’m-so-happy-to-be-here-smile and drove the golf cart. Till I got bored.
2. I borrowed my self flagellating peer’s clubs on the Par 3 holes until my “hit ins” (or whatever they are called) were better than hers.
3. By the 5th hole my look alike professional blouse was sticking to my back. The only lightweight clothing I had (90 miles from my house sitting in my trunk) was my 2 piece bathing suit from swimming with the kids the previous weekend.
4. I was naive. When I asked my boss if I could put on my bathing suit top with my skirt.
5. I was extremely naive when both bosses said, “yeah” with a smile.
I replaced my wet blouse with my bright pink bathing suit top, ripped off my hose and slipped back on my corporate girl shoes.
6. I was totally naive I was violating some unspoken or fine print posted attire rules that exist at these off the chain members-only clubs ( This I don’t understand. The crap colorful clothing the men wore would get them beat up anywhere else.)
5. At the 9th hole I was done driving the cart, playing par 3 holes – but I wasn’t done sobering up. So – the boss invited me to his home to have water and relax (while still in my unique golfing attire ).
6. I drank 3 waters. I viewed an expensive hill with some custom bushes and lights. I got a tour of the garage with some kinda cars that were old and should mean something. I did the appropriate, “Ooh..” And put on my, “I’m so impressed face..”
7. Any other task, any other event – would have flowed smooth. I could have winged it. Just not this day. Just not this flight.
The kicker?
7% pay raise plus bonus at year end review.
Lessons to my children? Fun bosses like the above mentioned rarely happen.
Reason #1987532 Cubism sucks?
You never know what season it is – UNTIL you are asked to play golf!
Hilarious!
I don’t have an alarm clock. I simply let my wife wake me up.
I went through the same thing years ago.
But we got downsized and suddenly interesting projects were gone. I was there only for the paycheck and that is when the problems started.
I had a nice weekly paycheck and job security many would dream of BUT I felt trapped.
For months on end I felt more and more like a zombie until I started the downward spiral – calling in sick every month, looking for distractions and finding myself browsing the internet hours on end.
Until they showed me the door…What a relief, I was finally free!
That has happened to me on more than one occasion. That is what makes life so exciting. ;)
Hey Perry,
I think the snooze button should be called the sabotage button. And maybe the off button placed on the bottom of the alarm.
That being said, I think we’re all guilty of sabotaging ourselves. I’ve thought about this longer than I planned too, but there’s so many ways, large and small that I’ve sabotaged myself.
The biggest thing I’ve done is taken on too much, too many projects. Or tried to bring to fruition too many ideas at once. It leaves me spread thin and yields zero to small results. I’m learning to start one thing and take it to finished or close to finished, before starting something else. I’ve had people ask me about what happened to?.. too many times. I know some of them would’ve been successful had I stuck them out, but I truly think fear of success held me back for a long time.
Good news…
The past is gone but the future looks bright. I’m on my way to the top.
Stay in Motion,
Dana
Hi Perry:
I don’t post often, but I enjoy your emails very much! Thank you.
In keeping with the spirit of things, all I can say is I just got back from driving 96 miles round trip to a class that I’m not supposed to be at until next Thursday…
Perry,
Much respect. What a tremendous piece of wisdom…and storytelling mastery.
@Kim Rogers,
Um… I have to apologize in advance, but that’s hilarious. Similar things used to happen to me all the time. I just triple check now before I leave my house. I hope your little jaunt wound up with a happy ending.
I’m purposefully not reading the previous comments before submitting this in order to give you my ‘knee jerk reaction.’
I believe that this line speaks volumes, “I NEVER did that on ordinary days. Nope. Just on days when it really mattered.” Don’t those two sentences speak to a form of self-sabotage. Knowing that you became a business owner in the not too distant future, this event says to me you knew on some unconscious level that being, shall we say a ‘traditional’ salesman, was not your ‘destiny.’ Being ‘required’ to attend sales training is not an self-affirming experience, but speaks of a one size fits all approach by your management. None of actually like that, but we play along to demonstrate that we’re team players when in fact we’re not really part of a team of salesmen. As a salesman, you know you’re an individual performer who of needs must cooperate with the real team of other employees in all the other departments that are necessary for the company’s success. Salespeople compete for recognition. They may or may not play nice, but for sure they don’t like being told “take this training; you need it.” My sense of you is that you’re were already chafing at the bit. Thank goodness you struck our on your own to eventually offer all of us the benefits of your ‘real’ training on how to market smarter. Thanks for asking :-)
Suicide by Cop
I agree with the other folks… when you don’t have the desire to take care of business yourself, I believe you subconsciously self-destruct and let someone else (or something else) take the blame.
I used to self-sabotage when it came to returning calls, even calls that I knew were probably going to make me money, and I think that was born from knowing some very “successful” people who were incredibly self-serving narcissists, and I didn’t want to be like them. It took a while, and it required some serious introspection, but I got through that. I think fear of success can be just as harmful as fear of failure – both will freeze you up!
Thanks for bringing up the subject, Perry, many of us probably need to revisit that fear thing and do some self-talk.
Great story Perry.
Several commentators have already mentioned our internal ability for self sabotage as a stress avoidance mechanism. I have never missed a flight from oversleeping, but I have missed a couple by not allowing sufficient time get to the airport. Perhaps the other side of the same coin?
I’m the opposite, when I have a big meeting in the morning I rarely sleep well. Im very seldom late.
I believe we are exactly where we are meant to be.
Sounds like a part of you didn’t want to have that job. Self-sabatouge often pays itself out that way.
While in the military, I’d have “show times” at 0200 (you know, 2am).
It only took one call from the scheduler asking where I was to fix my process.
The big challenge when you make a drastic change to your body clock is you can easily sleep through an alarm.
I had become adept at the quick snooze-button-slap, so much so that I wouldn’t wake up sometimes.
My process change was this: move my alarm clock from my bedside table to a table across the bedroom. Now I had to actually get up out of bed to snooze.
To this day I still have my alarm clock in a location where I have to get out of bed to silence it.
I also set a second alarm if it is super important.
Side note: if you ever want to get on an earlier flight, those first flights of the day always have seats because so many people oversleep.
Great story, great storytelling (as ever), and great timing for me, Perry, as I have just made a leap of faith from years of traditional direct marketing to direct selling in a brand new career move. Yesterday the ringing of my telephone awakened me a full 20 minutes after the scheduled appointment I had orchestrated to begin a sales presentation to a major prospect. I was SO frustrated and ANGRY with myself, and began to wonder if I hadn’t gone back to sleep deliberately as a means of self-sabotage out of fear.
Perry,
My response is from a wifey’s point of view. Laura is too sweet to drive you to the airport! What, with not getting a chance for an early morning sort-out? Ha, ha,ha.
Next time, ask the lady to wake you up 30 minutes before the alarm goes. Trust me, you’ll be refreshed, mentally alert and still able to catch a rejuvenating snooze on the plane and get to your training destination with a smile in your face, in your heart and for Laura. Ha, ha, ha…
Much has been learned in recent years about the power of the subconscious and about the brain. There are even studies showing that different groups of people see completely different things when they had been previously viewing images that differed from those viewed by the other group. That’s a little scary when so much is based on the perception of one person at times. Also, every person has a perception of their experiences that is the result of their beliefs-which are mostly subconscious. The conscious mind is said to be about the size of a golf ball next to something like the Houston Astrodome representing the subconscious. So my thought is that you didn’t provide your brain with strong enough images and emotions about waking up and heading off to the airport. That could have been because there was a subconscious belief that was strong enough to cause self-sabotaging and hypnotic type behavior to avoid something believed to be unpleasant at some level.
I was amazed reading your blog. I think I should say that
1. I am an early riser
2. I hate top be late and very rarely do. Why, Well, my opinion is that people who come late lach the respect for the time of the people they have the appointment with. I can’t stand it if somebody wants to meet me and doesn’t arrive in time./ I immediately start thinkin what I caould have done in the lost time. What you do not want for yourself, do not do that to others. Period.
3 I think everybody needs to read Covey’s book THE SEVEN HABBITS OF HIGHLY EFFICIANT PEOPLE.
Lets make it a more efficient world. There is only a very short time, let’s not waste it.
I thought to share my opinion. Thank you for reading this
BTW, I already have your nine lies, don’t m,ake it ten.
LOL – you just put out a mail called 9 lies of sales and marketing (sorry, not that relevant to this particular thread but does list some other self-sabotaging tendencies in online marketing) but I did a very similar post last year. This is not a self promotion Perry but just a funny coincidence – http://sellmyknowledgeonline.com/theyre-just/
Love your info
Michael
I also have experienced this problem with my alarm not going off for important appointments.
What I do now is set a very very strong intention before I go to bed to wake up on time. Usually I wake up a few minutes before the alarm goes off. However, there are still occasions when I turn off the alarm roll over and fall asleep
I once read about an airline pilot who had a habit of sleeping through his alarm. So he set up 6 alarm clocks around the room to get to work ontime. Not only did I get a chuckle out of this, but didn’t feel so bad about myself.
I have learned to accept that this is one of my human imperfections and on the mornings I do sleep in, I am not as stressed out as I used to be. In fact I am amazed how quickly I can be ready and out the door
Self-sabotage is a sign that we have a sub-conscious belief is influencing our actions. For instance, we might want to be successful in our careers, but we may have sub-conscious beliefs that limit our ability to achieve that success. As a success coach. I ask my clients to pay attention to self-sabotaging behaviors. I then teach my clients a very simple tapping protocol for aligning their subconscious beliefs with their conscious behaviors. Once our subconscious beliefs are completely aligned with our goals, the path to success becomes clear.
I’ve done this too Perry, I think we all have.
Funny how when it’s something we look forward to, and can’t wait for, like leaving for vacation, or a camping trip with the family, or working on our own business – we wake up on time, even without an alarm clock. Otherwise, we need the clock, and hit snooze as many times as we can get away with!
Good story Perry, as always.
Jim Rodante
NJ
That happened to me once. I was already successful in my profession, but had had an underlying fear of “what if”. And I guess, thinking about it actually made it come to pass and I missed a 7:30 AM flight. I did make the next plane and still made the meeting on time, but with an awful guilt ridden feeling and rushing around like a crazy person. I didn’t let that particular type thing happen again. Hated feeling like that.
Hi Perry,
Yep – I know how it is. I once turned up in a place called Stoke. I had a really important appointment. Only to find there were two places called Stoke and I was in the wrong one. I should have checked before I left the house!!!
Michael Anderson
Wayne is right on, the fear of success is a big one. Success brings with it a lot of responsibility and not everybody wants the trade off deep inside their mind where choices are really made in quick flickers of thought.
Often the conscious mind wants the money and “stuff” but the subconscious mind fears being like “those people”. This puts you at war with yourself internally causing all sorts of mistakes and wrong choices and leads you down sometimes years of bad paths.
Well, I’m wired a little differently. My internal clock wakes me up before the alarm (which means that I don’t get much sleep). However, if I don’t set the alarm, then the internal clock fails. Not sure why that happens…
Seriously…this email was way too creepy, Perry. Remarketing is one thing, but having someone watch me is just a bit much.
I had this happen THIS morning.
I am not a morning person. I had a 10 am appointment…I know I know…who worries about making a 10 am? Well, the guy that stays up til 3 am does! Anyways, I set the alarm for 7 and woke up at 9. I still made it on time with matching socks no less…but I had wanted to bike to work, not do the nascar thing.
I did this kind of thing often when I was working with a major Internet marketing company in Sydney. I was the business development manager ( which is a nice name for cold calling sales rep) and although I liked the people I worked with, I could not handle cold calling anymore.
Me and the other phone blaster,oops I meant sales executive, flew down to Melbourne on a company expenses paid for, two day training session. when we arrived I decided that we should take the airport bus instead of a taxi, which was a bit strange considering the company was paying for all expenses. My somewhat bemused colleague joined me and the short story is we turned up 2 hours late for the seminar.
The irony is our boss had hired a motivational tutor for the two days as a big surprise. My boss knew our flight arrived on time and he could not understand why on earth I decided to take a bus from the airport. I couldn’t either, at the time, and it was a very embarrassing experience. Truth is looking back on it, I just wanted out of this job. Two months later I resigned, before I got sacked, and i started a new life in Thailand. Best move I ever made!
I’ve made other stupid decisions since. I believe you must truly be at peace with what you do otherwise your sub conscience with trip you up. Don’t ever ignore it when it does!
I always wake up just before my alarm, even when I haven’t set it. I suspect that rather than a fear of success, you really just did not want to go to Detroit. For whatever reason, you just did not want to go. I find that when I have an aversion to something if I think about it, I can determine the reason. It is usually not something as simple as a fear of success but rather some association I might not be conscious of. It is useful to understand your impulses and phobias and their origins. This can help you not only make good choices, but to act in a clear and decisive fashion when the need arises.
We use a variety of methods to cope with stressful situations. And our brain detects stress that we are not consciously aware of. I see folks every day who engage in self-sabotage. I think we are all subject to engage in self-sabotage to some extent.
The more we can focus on the rewards or benefits of our actions instead of the cost (rejection in the case of selling) the more we soothe the fear in our brains.
Fear is generally at the base of self-sabotage. We need to understand that doing something new or risky will always generate fear. But putting the fear into perspective (what’s the worst that could happen) and focusing more on the rewards will help calm the emotional part of the brain.
When it’s imperative that I wake up for something important, I always have backup clocks. The plan: set your regular alarm, and set two additional alarm clocks (I like to use small travel clocks). Set the additional clocks in two locations that are a distance from the bed so that you have to get out of bed to get to them. The alarms will probably go off at slightly different times which is great, because it’s really annoying. This technique works every time for me.
Lewis:
I’m with you. I get little sleep when I have something important.
That said, I’m sure I perform the self sabotage Perry speaks of in many unconscious ways. One is, not thinking enough about the big picture. Takes a lot of discipline to sit back and think strategically…lot easier to dive back into the muck and feel like you’re getting stuff done.
Neil
I am usually just the opposite. I wake up what seems like every few minutes to check the clock so I get very little sleep but I am rarely late.
Maybe it is from being in the military for over 11 years. Don’t know! Just the way I am.
Lewis
Something most people don’t think about is fear of success. Maybe being successful would mean fearing you’d have to top whatever you did and didn’t think you could do it. Lots of people have heard of fear of failure, but this fear is equally as strong.
Fear of success is very real. I’ve had to deal with it for years. I always knew that the people in my life wouldn’t be there when I did ultimately become “successful”. Not for any other reason than the fact that my thinking and acting had transcended theirs. It’s not a bad thing. It HAS to happen. I finally realized that. And I asked myself a question: What’s more important, what you’re really supposed to doing with your life, or trying to hold yourself back from that to please/appease the people who have been a part of it thus far? When I answered that question, my life began to change. And it keeps changing. And I keep meeting better and better people. Fear of success is real but getting over it is something you have to do for yourself.
BTW Perry. I think that this happened to you because life has a way of teaching us the things we’re supposed to learn even though we don’t know we’re supposed to learn them.
I can REALLY identify with this. I spent many years of my working life in multi-nationals where the airport and hotels were a strong contender to home! Most often the biggest challenge for me to deal with successfully was when someone else’s logistics/priorities/agenda/self interest? would take control of my life and force me into an unreasonable schedule – “Our management meeting starts at 07h30 on Fridays morning – you are presenting first to get the item out of the way” – except that that meeting was at the end of 5 hours of travel logistics beginning with a 03h00 wake up alarm at home because you could not fit getting there the night before into your budget or schedule! The “mind program” that would be running would be one of “I don’t want to do this .. but I’m forced to” – not great for motivation and flawless execution! When this happened I would wind up where you were more times than I care to remember – with all the ghastly symptoms you describe so well. Wouldn’t it be great if people would, just sometimes, “walk a mile in the other guy’s shoes” before making demands?
Wayne Winkle,
Wow! You really hit it with the fear of success. I always sabotage myself when I am at the tipping point of success. It is like I feel like I am not worthy of what God has for me. Very weird. I am doing a lot better, but it is a demon a struggle with constantly.
Thanks for the thoughtful post, Perry. You always deliver.
Matt Sullivan