A few weeks ago one of my emails really HACKED OFF one of my customers.
He replied back:
Perry,
I’m fed up of receiving emails like these. Actually I’m fed up of being on lists like these. Actually, what I’m really fed up with is still needing to be on lists like these..
I’ve done more things than I can even remember, including the Internet Marketing Advanced Mentoring program, being a Google Advertising Professional. I’ve been on Tellman and Shaun’s List Pro’s program, I’ve had a lame attempt at Frank Kern’s Mass Control, and yes, for a short while I was even on Perry Marshall’s Bobsled run, gladiator club etc.. [but whilst working for a company other respected people have interestingly described as utterly dysfunctional]
I’ve been a Royal Marines Commando, a computer technician, and IT manager, a Chief Technology Officer, and have run my own business moderately successfully – I LOVE technology, and LOVE the internet – it’s an amazing tool. I’m also a member of Mensa – but feel really dumb sometimes.
How can a relatively smart guy, still be getting it so wrong? How come I’m not rich? In fact, not only am I not rich, I’m flat broke now.
What can a broke bloke do – who won’t give up, but if he’s honest – can’t truthfully see what he’s getting wrong? Over the past couple of years, I’ve spent well over $100k pursuing Internet Marketing success. And failed.
Here’s the thing – of all the guys I’ve paid attention to, like Bob Proctor, Paul Martinelli, Frank Kern, Tellman Knudson, the Stomper.net guys, Rich Shefren, and some less well known ones.. – you seem to be the most sensible – kind of ‘real’. I’m not actually sure what it is, even though it’s recognizable.
Perry – is there a chance you would do a deal – something along the lines of ‘I promise to do *exactly* what you tell me – and pay you most of the money I earn until the cost of training is covered’. (This doesn’t mean I’m docile by any means – I’m relentlessly enthusiastic and love to create and do and learn.. and challenge.. and explore..)
You’re probably laughing – I know that sounds insane, and you probably get asked that all the time. But I’m really not your ordinary guy – you can ask my friends :^)
I will do whatever it takes – I just don’t know what that is right now.. but I do think you can help.
Well, hopefully this will reach you Perry. Hopefully you won’t laugh too hard..
Best regards,
[Mr. X]
Wow. I seldom get emails that honest.
Even so, this sort of thing is at least somewhat more common than most of us would like to admit.
I wanted to talk to him on the phone and see if I could figure out what the problem was. I had Denise set up a 15 minute appointment for us to talk.
And my, what a fascinating conversation we had.
You can click to listen to it here (12 minutes), or read the transcript below:
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Transcript of “$100,000 and nothing to show for it”
Perry: Hello Mr. X, how are you doing today?
Mr. X: I’m doing great, thank you. I hope you’re expecting my call?
Perry: Yes, I am.
Mr. X: Good.
Perry: So what would you like to accomplish today?
Mr. X: Well, actually I was really surprised to read the reply from you and Denise, that you were curious as to why I hadn’t achieved success, especially with my background.You’re very kind, which I really appreciate, by the way, Perry. I know you’re very, very busy, but your kind office talked to me and that kind of spurred me into figuring out exactly what was really going on.
Perry: Okay, that’s part of the goal, I guess.
Mr. X: Well, I think I’ve done it. I don’t think it’s anything more complicated than I just haven’t stuck with anything long enough for it to become successful. I realize that I love learning. I love exploring. Technology has always fascinated me, and I’ve done so many things.
I think that’s the problem. I just do so many things and I haven’t really focused on one thing and then disciplined myself to stick with it, because you know what it’s like on the internet. We can find things that in the moment is the best thing, but then you know a month later there’s going to be something that’s better.
I cannot keep glomming onto the latest and the greatest, and it’s just been killing me for years. So actually I’m being spurred on by this conversation. I looked around and then I just chose something that fitted all my kind of qualities and all my passions, and I just made a decision, and it was a huge relief to do that.
It’s kind of like all the problems just disappeared. It seems really, really good. I made up my mind that this is it and I’m just going to stick it. No changing until it works. I think that was it really, as crazy as it sounds.
Perry: Do you have this pattern in other areas of your life?
Mr. X: Yes.
Probably in all of them, including two marriages and lots of jobs.
It’s when the challenge isn’t there, when I’m not learning anymore and there’s nothing new, I kind of move on. It’s neat to learn, to be constantly stimulated. I love exploring stuff. I love learning new things, not because of the outcome, just because of the learning experience.
Of course that isn’t getting me what I want. It’s not getting me the results in terms of income and fulfillment and satisfaction, so I’m going to stop doing that, I think. I’m anxious to know what you think.
Perry: Well, obviously I don’t know you at all, but it sounds like a pretty coherent interpretation of what’s going on. I think driving your stake into the ground and being not just willing but even interested in driving that stake deeper and deeper and deeper is a really rewarding thing.
Maybe you could relate to something that I do. I mean I’m just like you and everybody else. I think that probably people who are on my email list and newsletters and different things are all like that. They’re curious. That might be one of the biggest things right there, curious, intellectually stimulated, active, thinking, exploring people, right?They’ve all got a touch of ADD. I mean that’s just normal. I’m the same way. That’s why we’re all attracted to each other.
The whole Google AdWords thing, that’s a stake that I’ve just pounded into the ground deeper and deeper and deeper.
Some of it’s admittedly even a certain degree of paranoia, like this is a good identify to have in the world and I don’t want to lose it, so let’s see what else can we do here? “Oh okay, I think I’ll publish a bookstore book.” Well, that took a year, more than that actually, and now we’re doing a second edition.
So that’s the stake, and I’m like married to it, right? I’m married to it. But on the other hand, I’m constantly exploring all kinds of other things and talking about all kinds of other things too. They all just eventually circle back around, so that it’s still consistent.
I mean if you go read my blog over the last three months, there’s some rabbit trails that go very, very far into all kinds of other areas, so I guess all I’m saying is you can do both.You can be completely committed to one thing and you can just make sure that all of the other things that you explore somehow connect or support the first thing.
I think that’s a pretty good success formula for building something long term, yet not getting bored.
Mr. X: Yeah, and I think that’s what’s been missing really, because I’ve done the exploring thing in widely different contexts. It’s not just technology, it’s been genetics and science and physics – because all these things fascinate me and I’m very fortunate to be pretty smart at a lot of these things – but there’s been no common connection.I’ve just been jumping all over the place, whereas like you said, with a commitment to like a central stake and hooking up these other things within the context of that and looking for that connection, that’s the thing that’s been missing, so I’ve just been all over the place really.
What I’ve really seen in the past couple of weeks is I’ve just sat back and really thought about what’s been going on – you know, looked back at my life really, looked for the patterns, like you said.
The first thing I thought is like, “Where is this happening in my life? It’s happening everywhere actually.”
Perry: I want to ask a favor of you. When the call started I turned on the MP3 recorder, because I’m just in the habit of doing that for consulting calls. How would you feel if I edited it such that nobody could tell your identity and use your email that you originally sent and this and post it, because I think a lot of people struggle with this.
Mr. X: Oh, I’m sure it’s a massive problem. It’s easy to see that.
Perry: Yeah, and it’s exacerbated by kind of the Hollywood values of the world. It’s like boy falls in love with girl, they live happily ever after, and it only took an hour and 43 minutes, right? And so life becomes this adrenaline addiction of sorts, and it’s just like one hit after another. It’s a form of addiction.
Mr. X: I think we get sucked into this, all this opportunity of the world, where we’re jumping from one opportunity to the next. Yeah, it’s a killer. It’s killed me.I actually came to see you, Perry, in Chicago. You did the boot camp thing the year before last. I was working for [employer] at the time. Of course he coaches a lot of people on success.
I built a very close relationship with him. I did all his programs and I think the biggest thing out of all the things that you can coach people on, the biggest thing is making that committed decision and sticking with it. It doesn’t matter what you do really, as long as it’s a smart sensible choice, it’s sticking with it.
It hit me between the eyes when I looked back. It’s exactly the one thing I haven’t been doing, because I get so excited with all this stuff because it just fascinates me. I love it, but there’s no longevity to it, you don’t get the option to become an expert or an authority or build a reputation. You’re just all over the place.
Perry: I think you’re right. When I was in high school, we read Walden by Henry David Thoreau. I don’t know if you’re familiar with that book.
Mr. X: I know the book. I’ve never read it though.
Perry: Thoreau had a lot of great things to say about a lot of things. One of the things that he said was, “As long as possible, live free and uncommitted.”I was not brought up in that mindset. We were like writing papers about this and discussing it in class, and I decided – I remember this, I was 17 – I kind of flipped that around and what I decided that I believed was, “As soon as possible, commit yourself to worthwhile things.”You know, that has been a very good mindset.
I put a guest editorial in my newsletter this past month by Dan Kennedy, where he was talking about how every entrepreneur looks across the fence at the other entrepreneurs’ grass and it’s greener, and we wish we were in some other business.
He was talking specifically about how before the banking crash, a lot of people were looking at their friends in real estate or Wall Street or whatever and going, “Those guys are making a killing, and I’m sitting here turning this crank. Yeah, I’m making money but it’s not really good,” right?
He was like, “Dude, it’s always messier and uglier close up than it is from far away.”
If you are in a bad business, then find a way to get out, but if you’re in a decent business, then make the decent business great.
Mr. X: Absolutely, yeah.
Perry: Well, this is awesome material. I’m glad that we talked today. What I’d like to do is I’ll have it transcribed and we’ll edit it and I’d like to put it out there for people to listen to.
Mr. X: Absolutely, because I’m sure there are a lot of people – I know there are because I’ve met a lot of them – who are in the same position. I don’t know what it is, but for me it was the prospect of the conversation with you that kind of spurred me really to just take that little extra step, and that’s all it took really. Yeah, it’s brilliant, so I want to thank you for that.
Perry: Well, good. I want to encourage you in what you’re doing. I hope to hear from you in a few months or something and let me know how you’re doing. I’ll definitely use this I think, for lots of people.
Mr. X: It’s actually great, and would make a great blog post. I love your emails. They’re about the best I get actually. I did as you said and unsubscribed from a lot of others, but I keep yours because they’re great.
Perry: Well, thank you. I love to hear that. I hope it continues to be worthy of people’s time.
Mr. X: Thank you for your time. I know how valuable it is. I really appreciate it.
Perry: Okay, Mr. X, thank you.
Mr. X: You have a great day.
Perry: You too.
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About the Author
Perry Marshall has launched two revolutions in sales and marketing. In Pay-Per-Click advertising, he pioneered best practices and wrote the world's best selling book on Google advertising. And he's driven the 80/20 Principle deeper than any other author, creating a new movement in business.
He is referenced across the Internet and by Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, INC and Forbes Magazine.
72 Comments on “$100,000 and nothing to show for it”
Read Bhagavad Gita as it is by A.C.Bhaktivendanta .It will give you an idea why things are the way they are in life in general.If you want knowledge you need to go to the root.Emerson and Thoreau both found great inspiration in it.
Here is what they said:
“I owed a magnificent day to the Bhagavat-Gita. It was the first of books; it was as if an empire spake to us, nothing small or unworthy, but large, serene, consistent, the voice of an old intelligence which in another age and climate had pondered and thus disposed of the same questions that exercise us.”-Emerson
“In the morning I bathe my intellect in the stupendous and cosmogonal philosophy of the Bhagavad-Gita, in comparison with which our modern world and its literature seems puny and trivial.” ~ Henry David Thoreau
And some others:
“The Bhagavad-Gita is the most systematic statement of spiritual evolution of endowing value to mankind. It is one of the most clear and comprehensive summaries of perennial philosophy ever revealed; hence its enduring value is subject not only to India but to all of humanity.” ~ Aldous Huxley
“The idea that man is like unto an inverted tree seems to have been current in by gone ages. The link with Vedic conceptions is provided by Plato in his Timaeus in which it states…” behold we are not an earthly but a heavenly plant.” ~ Carl Jung
“When I read the Bhagavad-Gita and reflect about how God created this universe everything else seems so superfluous.” ~ Albert Einstein
You may read more here:
http://74.125.153.132/search?q=cache:ae91ehM1d8wJ:hinduism.about.com/od/thegita/a/famousquotes.htm+thoreau+on+gita&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&client=firefox-a
You may get your FREE copy here:
http://www.asitis.com/
Best of luck
Hey Perry – and everyone else who commented,
Amazing response – it obviously touched something in a lot of people.
Thanks everyone for the supportive and informative messages.
Everything is going great now – hard work, but very fulfilling now it’s “on purpose” – I think it really comes down to awareness, and then something akin to mental toughness – persistent/consistent focus and discipline..
Can’t wait to do the three month update!
all the best,
Paul.
[email protected]
Perry – I created an anonymous but valid email just in case anyone wants to keep in touch – but feel free to remove :-)
Success in anything is about “driving that stake deeper … planting it firmer and making it more solid with every effort.
You can have other things that you do that are interesting and have some level of importance but you have to find those things that are most important to you … focus and work on them to make them a success
Nothing says this better than the following:
“I respect the person who knows what they wish. The greatest part of all mischief in the world arises from the fact that most do not sufficiently understand their own aims. They have undertaken to build a tower, and spend no more labor on the foundation than would be necessary to erect a hut.”
~ Goethe
Dennis Lowery
Adducent, Inc.
That could’ve been me on the phone, and this is what I love about you Perry, it seems like you write just to me. Then I come on your blog and find out there’s a bunch of people just like me. You guys are Nuts! (and so am I.) So maybe I should share, and maybe this will help someone else out too. That’s what I’m going for anyway.
Recently, I decided that the reason I have so much trouble sticking with things after I’m bored with them, is because they are boring. I’ve spent most of my life in the strange position of solving problems that noone else could figure out, or figure out how to do cost effectively. That… is what I’m good at. That is my USP. I don’t think like most people, and I see things differently than most people, and I don’t see problems like most people, so it works for me.
So what I’m doing now is, working on a problem until it’s broken down, solved, cost effective, or whatever the solution is, then giving those specific instructions to people who can do the job, and FINISH the job. Because for me, it’s only fun until it’s known. Once I see that anyone with this or that skill could do it, I write it down, and hand it off to a Finisher. Sometimes, they come back because they can’t get past this or that aspect, and I solve it, and hand it right back to them.
That keeps me happy, and driven (I’m a work-aholic, I’m happy WHEN I’m driven) and allows me to work on more than one project at a time, without leaving any of them undone.
Some of us really are just starters, that is our gift. You were talking about driving a stake in the ground, and that reminds me of how they trian elephants to stay where they want them. When they’re young, and they can’t pull a stake out of the ground, they tie thier leg to it to keep them in place. When they’re older, they don’t even try to pull the stake out, because they learned they couldn’t when they were younger.
I don’t want to be that guy. Lots of people in business are that guy, still doing things this way because that’s the way they’ve always been. Not moving the stake.
I want to be the guy that figures out the best way to move the stake, make it dance, fly, hover, whatever, and get people to pay me for doing it.
My first .NET coding project was done in 48 hours, and I did it after talking to the guy who built the software, and he told me what I wanted to do couldn’t be done. (I learned to code by speed reading ASP.NET and VB.NET books, I’m not great, but like I said, I solve the problem, then hand it off to a coder who “knows the rules”, but couldn’t get the job done)
Perry, I love this post, I love it because it’s soooo very me. I’m so glad you shared it with us, I just wanted to throw my unique perspective in, and I hope it helps.
Mike
Mike,
seems to me, your problem is 3/4ths solved. You know what you’re good at and what stimulates you. You’re a starter, not a finisher. That’s normally looked on as bad but as long as you have relationships and systems in place that harness it, you can really rock. There’s a lot of people in the world that don’t start nuthin’ so you’re quite valuable when you’re in the right groove.
Perry
Hi Nik,
I have just put up a reply to Mr X and Perry and found yours as I was looking through. Good one.
I have always been an artist in spirit but for the last 20 years have been uncommitted….too much work with no life giving financial returns even though I am good at what I do. I became so stressed I became ill and unmotivated.
The possibilities within the internet have inspired me to take action again and to encouraged me to use the skills with which I originally embraced my art career. They are:
1 TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART. Srapbook your way to finding what turns you on.
2 Set small goals with your big goal in mind
3 Take one small step after another. Feel the achievement!
4. BE GREATFILLED Embrace your achievements
5. In no time at all you will be wanting to share your successes with OTHERS. ( Even if your family can’t appreciate what you happen to love there is a tribe out there awaiting your enthusiasm)
6. Its about PASSION and PASSION comes from finding and taking action to expand the thing you LOVE. In return that THING will Love You.
Bless
GrandJak
Hi Perry,
Thanks so much for your insight and authority. Mr X’s comments were amazing…absolutely on the pulse.
i am 60 and just getting into the whole internet marketing process. I feel enlivened in a way I havn’t for years. I also have been going from one thing to another to learn, learn, learn. You are right,this can be an addiction and I am greatful you put the question ‘does this manifest in the rest of your life.’
Now I am setting up to market myself and my artwork on line and hoping to get the rewards I have worked so hard for,over 40 years.At least I have had one consistent thing and have reached a point for myself of self worth which only really comes from putting that stake in the ground!
This is a huge learning curve and my biggest challenge is to apply these on line tactics with limited computer experience. Understandably I feel an urgency with time and hope my that brain muscles will be exercised in the process.
I don’t know wether I am fooling myself here, but after a good spend of all I have $60.000.00 I have hopefully gained an overview of ‘the machine’ and will put it to good use right now.
I have been learning to discriminate and it is experts such as yourself I
feel fortunate to have come across. Thank you.
Now it’s back to the drawing board!!
Best regards
Break that pattern? Haven’t you heard what Dr. House said in “House”: “People don’t change!”
That’s so true it’s annoying when you realize that you´re also in that group of “people”.
I learned one thing. You can’t change your self. But you can change your priorities. If you manage to change your priorities, you’ll be able to get closer to that goal of sticking to something.
Like Perry mentioned, if you choose 1 thing to stick to but besides that allow your usual self to be in control, then you have a chance with that 1 thing.
The point I’m trying to make I think is that if you try to change your self, you will fail miserably. If you change some of your priorities (but just some), you have a chance.
Great analogy about the flower (Could apply to relationships too)! I too have had the habit of jumping from one latest and greatest thing to the next, and never seeing any of them through until the end. It is hard to decide on one thing and stick to it; especially when you’re constantly bombarded by all these latest and greatest offers. A while back, I decided I needed to unsubscribe myself from most of the marketing gurus’ email lists. Still subscribed to a few. Should probably get rid of those too. I think part of it is wondering if I might be missing out on a really great new tool that comes out, etc.
Someone also mentioned coaching. I would have to agree with that as well. I think the cost is prohibitive for a lot of us. I’ve been very fortunate to recently have the opportunity to receive coaching/mentoring for free. Of course I jumped at the chance, and it has made a huge difference. I feel much more confident and committed, plus there is more accountability for taking action.
Thanks to you for posting this comment, and the other posters as well, and of course Perry and Mr. X. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who’s had this pattern! :) Now, let’s all of us break it! I wish all of you great success in your entrepreneurial endeavors.
@Perry
“Persistence turned against you is a terrible thing. Persistence earning compound interest is incredible. I am persistent to a fault. You might be too. It’s OK to abandon a project that isn’t working.
Perry”
—————-
Thanks for your response.
I’m both persistent and flighty. I just wish I’d make better choices about when to throw in the towel and when to push through.
I’ve accumulated a fair amount of marketing education. Thanks to you, Glenn, and a few others.
I’m the one-eyed man, alright. But instead of finding the Land of the Blind, I keep walking into ass-kicking contests.
I decided that I need to have direct experience. What I’d really like to do now is build a lead generation system for someone.
Why not me? With so much of my life in that stake, I’m just not sure what to do. I’ve tried a number of products/services. Just haven’t been able to make it work. Push through or move on? Can’t really tell.
I’ve been using John Paul Mendocha’s five power disqualifiers as part of my filter as a search for my next project.
Still looking though . . .
Thanks again,
Hi Perry,
I assumed that it was natural for a certain amount of mayhem and chaos to act as a double team causing doubt and frustration. This is why it is important to have a mentor, someone that can pull you away from the mayhem and chaos and put you back on track.
I‘m new to internet marketing and I make my own products to sell online and at first internet marketing appeared effortless which brings to mind the old saying, “looks can be deceiving.” If I had not happened upon your site and signed up for the Mastermind Club I would still be clueless. Good luck Mr. X.
Jessica,
I was referring to one of the newsletters where Mr. Marshall mentions that people told his wife she didn’t do so bad after all.. :)
Is the eBook dead? I don’t think dead but it has changed its role.
An eBook can be the start of a Community/Tribe. Just look at what Perry and Glenn Livingston did.
* Started with eBooks – proves market.
* Created blogs – lead with free.
* Created communities – get them to pay for more.
Today, I would start with a blog first. If you give enough value and get enough traffic, you know you are on to something.
Time to play follow the leader.
David
For Mr. “X”:
Tweets
6/3/09 Perry, @PerryMarshall can you help me get in touch with Mr. X ?
6/3/09 @PerryMarshall @SherrieRose Post your request w/ your Twitter ID on my blog, he’ll prob’ly see it
So, Mr. X, if are reading this, please find me on twitter and send me a direct message – THANKS!
Sherrie Rose
Amen. It’s good to know I’m not alone!
Perry and Mr. X,
Thank you for sharing.
PERSONAL LAMENT FOLLOWS
I have a stake deep in the ground. I even spent three years online driving that stake, and 20 years before driving that stake. It yielded no money. It even relates very closely to the biggest, hairiest problem I’ve solved (At least one of them).
I was unable to grow my list, unable to engage what list I had in conversation, or identify a product that would sell.
Ultimately, I think it was a matter of selling prevention rather than cure. I just don’t see the cure in the stake.
I’ve been searching for an outlet for that stake ever since.
Jeff,
Persistence turned against you is a terrible thing. Persistence earning compound interest is incredible. I am persistent to a fault. You might be too. It’s OK to abandon a project that isn’t working.
Perry
I have a similar issue to Mr. X. I think the main problem is CHOOSING the stake to pound into the ground. I’m 27 – I have no significant work experience, I have no specific THING that I am 100% passionate about (well, at least as far as something to sell or talk about to make money online..) So for someone like me, it’s very hard to get started.
Also, online business is very abstract. Tons of marketers say “create a product”, or “create an ebook” and then a ton of others will scream that “the ebook is dead” or similar.
Anyone who could help people like me figure out WHAT to do would be able to make a lot of money, that’s for sure :) But it would be pretty hard to do, because you would be basically giving away markets and telling people what to do.
So my question to Perry or anyone else watching this post, how do I figure out which stake to grab so I can start beating it into the ground and start making some money! :)
Nick,
For choosing a market, see http://www.perrymarshall.com/pink-koolaid/
Some of the comment Q&A is pretty good too.
Perry
Although both are valuable, I think consistency and focus are entirely different things. Using Perry’s “stake in the ground” analogy, I’d define focus as making the best effort possible to hit the stake with every single swing. Drive it deeper every time. That’s when your skills are continually improving.
Consistency is simply getting out and swinging the sledgehammer five days each week regardless of the outcome. It’s about building a habit, not necessarily getting better. Confusing the two makes life *way* more difficult than necessary.
There’s plenty of days I have zero interest in hitting the gym or working out. And it’s not such a great workout. Occasionally, it just completely sucks. It happens. Most of those times I’ll finish anyway, even when it means walking the last hill. Actually, that last part is mandatory on runs since there’s no other option for getting home. ;-)
The real problem is spending the next week (or three) feeling guilty about it, instead of just getting out there again the next day. It’s unrealistic to expect peak performance, thrills and enjoyment every time out. Not to mention immensely exhausting mentally. That’s where consistency plays a role. It teaches you to leave yesterday behind and take another step forward instead. Those feelings eventually go away and you’re still further down the road.
For me, that largely explains the jumping to other seemingly “greener pastures”. It’s much more fun (and often immensely easier) than slogging it out, particularly when you’re having a bad day. That’s the ideal time to take a break and reaffirm what’s important to you. Is it really not working? Or am I just so bored, frustrated and fed up that *anything* else looks better?
If your goal seems destined to fail, then make a conscious choice to do something different or walk away. Most people never make that tough decision. That’s the fundamental difference between giving up and moving on.
That bit of wisdom came from a close friend at the right time. I was single-handedly keeping my failing company on life support for almost 12 months while hating every minute of it. Giving up just seemed too painful.
She clearly explained the difference between giving up and letting it go. And it worked. I closed the office the very next day and spent the next few months largely taking my dog to the lake. Definitely one of my best lifetime decisions and learning lessons.