Dave worked in a job he hated and it was giving him an ulcer. Nearly had a nervous breakdown. One day made a decision: “I’m bailin’ from this place, and come heck or high water, I’m going to make it on my 
own.”
Started a safety consulting business, helping companies comply with gov’t regulations.
A year later, he’s doing… okay. Not great, but OK. Decides to spend every penny he has and come to my live Intensive workshop, hoping for a breakthrough. That was about 9 months ago.
I ask to see his sales letter and his lead gen. He sends out Faxes.
“You mind if I rewrite one of your faxes?” I ask. “I bet I can make the phone ring.”
“Sure,” he says. So right there while everyone is watching, I write this missive:
|
Right now, you are on the Kentucky Occupational Safety audit list. They can audit you at any time. If you receive a letter – or if an inspector shows up at your door unannounced – here’s what you’re in for:
Dear Manufacturing Professional, Don’t worry. If all this happens to you, I can bail you out for $17,000 and change. I’m helping one offender right now, we’re 3 weeks in, the meter’s running, and we’re over $10,000 and climbing fast. That’s only our invoices. They’ve had to bring in guys from Tennessee. They’ve lost clients. El Presidente has an ulcer. He’s cleaning out his retirement account as we speak. You might be operating on the fringes of the law right now. If you are, that’s OK. You’ll eventually be my client. Don’t panic yet. You don’t have to go down that road. If you haven’t gotten that letter yet, I can probably straighten you out for less than three grand. Not only that, my Secret Weapon Melissa can tell you if you’re a target in less than 30 minutes. Won’t cost you a dime. But one way or another, you’re in peril. You need to do something about this. Now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Now. Call 800-555-4350 extension 720. Melissa will assess your risk. Takes 45 minutes. Dave Eklund P.S.: The worst possible outcome is if someone is killed in an accident. If that happens and your machine shouldn’t have been operational, you go to prison. Blackburn Correctional Complex. Right beside Interstate 64. Ever been by there? You can spend up to 3 years behind bars. You see the highway from a brand new perspective. To date, the hammer has dropped on three operators. Kentucky is prosecuting companies under Section 35. They’re looking for their next victim. Is it you? |
Dave blasts the fax.
His wife is back at home, standing by for the phone calls.
Sure enough, the phone begins to ring.
THESE PEOPLE ARE FURIOUS. Mad as hornets. “How did you get my name? How do you know this? What kind of information do you have on me? What legal violation list am I on??!?”
Dave’s wife is MAD too. We have to get her on speaker phone just to calm her down. John Paul Mendocha, who was there for the Intensive, talks Melissa through what she needs to say. (Because, after all, these are hot leads from qualified buyers.)
It’s dinner time. We’re driving to dinner. Dave gets a phone call from Melissa.
She informs him that they got a phone call from the Safety Commission in Kentucky, stating that they received complaints and will be conducting a thorough investigation.
Dave’s face turns white as a sheet, like he’s tumbled out of an airplane without a parachute. He desperately needs brown pants because he looks like he’s going to soil his jeans.
(And I have to admit, I’m wondering if maybe I’ve finally pushed things too far this time.)
Dave sleeps poorly that night.
Next morning, I give Dave instructions: “I want you to call Jeff Cramer’s office at the Safety Commission and request a personal appointment with him. Like, right now.”
He’s never talked to this guy, but he leaves the room and complies. Gets on the phone, talks to the guy. Everything’s OK for now, nobody’s in big trouble. Jeff does warn him to never scare people like this again. (By the way, everything in that fax was true.)
The morning of Day 2, a paying client signs up with Melissa for a hefty sum of money, funding his whole expedition and trip to Chicago.
A week later, he meets with Jeff. Jeff has been overwhelmed with educating manufacturers about the rules, so… the state of Kentucky begins sending Dave clients.
With this new partnership with the state of Kentucky, Dave’s business has been BOOMING ever since. Dave’s marketing problems are over. Now he’s trying to deal with the volume of new customers.
Moral of the story: Sometimes you gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette. And sometimes you’ve gotta shake things up to get a breakthrough.
Perry Marshall
Click Here & watch Perry write copy just like this, working LIVE and unscripted, without a net
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About the Author
Perry Marshall has launched two revolutions in sales and marketing. In Pay-Per-Click advertising, he pioneered best practices and wrote the world's best selling book on Google advertising. And he's driven the 80/20 Principle deeper than any other author, creating a new movement in business.
He is referenced across the Internet and by Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, INC and Forbes Magazine.
37 Comments on “Names & Details Changed. But the Story is 100% True.”
Sir Perry has taught me a lot. I love his articles and he is phenomenal. I teach medical students and to get my point across, I use the word “Lawsuit” and immediately they are connected. Thank you, Sir Perry!
Harpreet
Wow. Everyone, including Perry, complete misses the point. Sorry but I have to be honest. We are told about ONE sale that was a direct result of the letter. The real success came from the JV with the state, which came from a complaint about the letter. If the guy from the state had been a jerk and turned the screws on him the outcome would have been 180 degrees different. The JV is what worked and I refuse to believe that ever entered Perry’s mind when he wrote the letter. This is actually an example of why you DON’T attend a four man intensive: Perry completely missed the right advice (find a good JV referrer) and instead put the guy’s business in real danger of getting shut down. And don’t tell me “but everything in the lettee is true so the biz would survive.” Small businesses don’t have armies of lawyers and being right isn’t enough a lot of times. Now, if a bunch of other sales came in directly from that letter it’s a different story. But we haven’t been told that. And statistically speaking, I wouldn’t call the letter everyone seems to love a very successful letter.
Love your articles Perry, can you share more sales pitch with us ? I’m not that much the guy focused on scare tactics.
Yes thank you very much sir Perry Marshal .. are cases and cases in my situation [ automatization ] i am shame to explain , I thought ,something else, something I thought, what , if I’ve never seen anything like it , anyway , please forgive my this mesaj .. but know .. 5 year not is 5 day .. thank you for your atention .. all the best and Happy Easter blessed
An thoroughbred race car (the strategy) and an exceptional driver (the copy). Was the outcome ever even in doubt?
One for the books that I’ll be referring to whenever I’ve lost my way.
It’s as bad-assed as a Bible Stomping, Hell-Fire and Brimstone preacher! “Confess your sins to Jeeesss-us now, or bathe in the eternal fires of everlasting con-dem-nation!” :)
Yikes! My knees knocked reading this and I looked for something to hide under…
Brilliant – best ad I’ve seen this year.
I love the way that your approach and ccpy broadens my horizons of what is possible Perry. On the fear factor – didn’t John Carlton advise to use it only when the fear was strong enough to keep folks awake at night (like in this case)?
I don’t remember him saying that. I say, it’s not that formulaic. You should speak to real life in a real way.
A very inventive angle. Still years of reading you and Dan I still can’t figure out how to translate “the scare” and “the funnel” to a service business that is all about showing love.
Are your customers not afraid of bad things happening to their pets?
Great story. Polarising opinion for profit, “making mad” for monies.
As Dan Kennedy says, “if you’ve not made somebody mad by lunch then you’re not doing a good enough job”
Great Perry,
Magic of a powerful copy.
Thanks for that Perry – made me click all the buttons.
Wondering how I could apply this to a $15,000 ten day adventure in Mongolia…
Thinking cap is on.
Well wishes from Rick
We had a person in a business very similar to yours come to a 4-man intensive, and we re-invented it. Think BALLSY.
Fear vs Greed……..Fear wins.
If I received that fax, I would have called your client in a New York minute. Incredible writing that completely toys with the emotions.
I have been studying Halbert, Carlton, Schwartz, etc… and this piece grabbed me by the neck more than any of their ads. I will be adding this to the top of my swipe file. Impressive!
Fantastic Story.
You only have to shake some emotional buttons to push your business to the next level. This works perfectly with services that handle several risks.
Perry, that was a great story…I’m still chuckling as I write. Not a “that was funny” chuckle either.
I think its the giddy laughter of a simple guy getting a glimpse into the mind of an evil genius he has always respected, someone he sees time and again using X-Ray insights to push buttons that are really there all the time, just one or 2 layers down…where most folks just can’t see ’em.
Everytime I read one of your stories I get inspired to look at things differently. The noise around me often makes it hard to hold onto but for at least a brief while I know I can eventually succeed.
I have no trigger to pull yet but soon. When I do I will be doing everything I can to make it to a 4 man intensive with you.
Till then, thanks for the chuckle.
Best regards,
Greg
Great eye opener Perry
I was about to right a post and was headed for the same old mundane, header, resource box, ect.
Perhaps It’s time to ruffle some feathers.
Just what I needed to jump start my Monday morning.
Steve
Perry that is a phenomenal story. And, I might add, an awesome letter too. Funny about the wife going nuts back home. Would’ve loved to have listened in on those phone calls between Dave & Melissa lol. I bet she was cursing you out big time :-).
As always, great story…and lesson.
Jim
Brilliant! You are a marketing genius. I’ve been studying you for a while now. I’ve just become a member of the Renaissance club. I’m gonna meet with you soon on one of your intensives. Thanks for doing a good job. I’ve benefited from you a lot already. I need help with a very good website though. I wonder if you know anybody who can help me write a knockout ad? Email- [email protected]. Thanks.
You could consider any of these guys
http://www.perrymarshall.com/jp-copywriters/
Great copy, Perry! Always great to get to reactions like that.
Ha! Very awesome and audacious, and that’s why you rock!
Talk about hitting the “Hot buttons” of his client’s
– In this instance the pen is definitely mightier than the sword!
Loved the knee jerk reaction of his client’s – that’s one story he will be telling for years to come!
This is PRICELESS!! I haven’t laughed so hard — ever.
Wonderful story, Perry!!
Make it painful enough for them and they will come to be saved. At least the smart ones will, because personally, I don’t want to deal with “The Clueless” anyway. I think your personal and real style of writing is a huge key, and every time I read one of your posts it’s like I’m taking another writing class. Thanks again.
Brilliant copy Perry. Thanks for sharing.
Perry, I love the story! Thanks for sharing it.
One small note: The phrase “cream your jeans” has not a thing to do with loss of bowel control…just FYI.
Great story Perry, nice work shifting his business from a problem of low volume to one of high volume! Here’s to good problems!
Love it!
Nice work Perry, another home run…
“It’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.” I’m sure you’ve heard that one before, right? You can’t take that generalization too far of course, but there’s truth in it.
Perry loves to create chaos with fax machines!!
Love it. Brilliant!
Perry, that was CREATIVE. Loved the resolution to “Dave’s” problem.
Sometimes we just want to solve our dilemmas in a “comfortable” way, and that way gets “comfortable” results (if any at all).
If we want real results, sometimes we just have to get WAY uncomfortable. :)
Hey,
You got permission to put it up! Good story from yesterdays call. Thanks for posting it in it’s entirety.