Not long after we got married, Laura and I were driving in the car. Someone on the radio was talking about adoption. Maybe it was foster care.

Laura, whose dad was adopted at age 3, said, “I want to do that.”

“You want to do WHAT?????”

I imagined being a foster parent, bonding with a kid for months or years, then having my heart ripped out of my chest when he gets forwarded to the next recipient.

But Laura was serious. “I want to do that someday.”

I am NOT a guy who likes my personal space shifting around. I’m as adventurous as anybody on the outside – I like the idea of, say, riding a bike across Mongolia – but I don’t do so well when you mess with my inner sanctum.

Things lurched forward when neighbors moved in with three foster-to-adopt kids. Thus began the journey of Mr. Perry slowly warming to this crazy idea. Eventually we worked out a plan that once we were done having our own kids, we would start taking in others.

We stuck our toe in the water. We took in a 7 day old, drug-exposed baby girl from the inner city. We told the agency we’d take an infant for just a few months and those were our limits and that’s what we got.

Having an infant in your house for 2 1/2 months isn’t like adopting a kid. It’s more like adventures in babysitting.

But then her grandma asked us to be her God Parents, so we’ve been Andria’s God Parents ever since. That was 16 years ago.

Then Bryan spent 4 years in China. I visited him 3 times. I loved China, so adopting there sounded like a fine idea. We adopted Zoe exactly three years ago. She’s been a joy and a half.

So we’re back for more. Repeat offenders.

Laura was originally the impetus. Everyone calls her “MamaLaura” for a reason. But this time – about a year and a half ago – I decided *I* wanted to go for another one.

Laura had to sit with it for awhile. She warmed up to the idea and decided she agreed with me.

When you have kids via natural birth, you get what you get. When you adopt, you get to CHOOSE.

Which is kind of scary… because you quickly realize the range of problems you could choose to deal with runs across a vast spectrum.

In China, if you want an infant with zero health issues, it’ll take you six years or maybe never.

There are TONS of kids – from every country, not just China – with special needs. The deeper into “special needs” you’re willing to go, the easier and faster it gets.

Older kids are also less likely to get adopted.

We wanted special needs. But we had to decide the level of inconvenience we could deal with. This feels very strange. You go through a checklist and say ‘yes I’m willing to deal with this’ and ‘no I’m not willing to deal with that.’

In August 2013 I was on a trip with Z-Man and Tiffany (Jimenez). I was trying to decide between several boys we could choose, age 7 to 10. I got up early one day with my journal, praying and meditating. I was considering this one little guy Jay who had dwarfism vs. another boy with a problem that’s more difficult.

The sense I got was “Go with Jay, he’s going to be a delight and take the energy you save not dealing with a different issue and invest it into ADVOCATING for adoption.”

I listened to that voice of intuition.

Jay is 9. Rarely are kids adopted over age 6 or so. And “little people” are NOT treated well in China. In fact China has an entire amusement park that is a big dwarf exhibit. Sorry to say, that’s the only sort of place where it’s easy for little people to get jobs in China.

When you adopt, you reach into that box of chocolates. You find out what you get when you take a bite. I have friends who have had very difficult adoptions. Zoe 3 years ago was pretty easy. The range from bad to good can be huge. You just take the risk and plunge in

We all converged in Xi’an (north central China) from three directions. I did a 4-Man Intensive in Bangkok last week. It helped pay for this expensive endeavor. Bryan Todd, who speaks fluent mandarin, joined us via Hong Kong. Laura and the kids flew through Beijing.

Yesterday our guide took us to the 20th floor of the Shaanxi adoption office, we walked in the door and there Jay was. Some couples from Quebec were there meeting their new kids too, and we had a charming little meet and greet.

We’d gotten little communication from the orphanage. It turns out they’d prepared him well and taken very good care of him during his time there.

So Jay got to meet me and Laura and all his brothers and sisters, except for our 14 year old son who decided to stay in Chicago and live with our neighbor.

We look FUNNY walking down the street. Trans-national rock band? Remember, most Chinese families have only one kid (“1 child policy”) so an American family of 7 with two Asian kids and a strange uncle is a strange sight indeed.

Jay doesn’t speak English. We don’t speak Chinese. Good thing we’ve got Bryan.

When we left the government office Jay was holding back tears. YES we will stay in contact with his old friends via chat, but his entire world is about to change 1000%. Goodbye China, hello USA. Goodbye orphanage, hello house in the suburbs. We told him it’s OK to be sad. He doesn’t have to put on his game face and be tough.

We got back to our hotel room. OK, so now what? Jay wasn’t very talkative at first.

Z-Man started drawing pictures. Jay decided that was a good idea. They did that for awhile and then Jay decided to poke Zander in the chest. It only took five minutes before they were wrestling and jumping on the bed and being 110% BOY.

Our little guy is very physical. Loves it when we hold his hand walking down the street, loves to wrestle, loves to run and jump, loves to be hugged and held.

Oh yeah, and even though he’s a tad shorter than our four year old, he’s built like a weight lifter and strong as an ox. He must weigh twice what she does!

The day before “Gotcha Day” as they call it in the adoption community, Laura said, “9 year old boy? Totally different than one and a half. We don’t even speak the same language. What are we getting ourselves into??!!??”

What’s it like to completely leave his old life behind and trust some family that showed up from halfway ‘round the world?

We’re about to find out!

The adventure, as always, continues….