Some time ago, something I wrote in my newsletter triggered a client to treat my email box as a confessional booth.

(I wouldn’t necessarily encourage this today, as any such sins would be seen by my staff before it gets to me.) Anyway, here’s Kevin’s sordid tale:

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Dear Perry,

When we met at your house in September, I was about $150K in debt on credit cards…today that has increased to $175K. And although I have never been late on a payment on any of them and usually pay more than the minimums, American Express just cut my credit limit by $25K, reducing my credit liquidity by 25% (not what I needed at the moment).

I have spent a lot of time playing Texas Hold’em Poker (which slows down my progress on my website and marketing for certain) and have a real passion for the game (not that I’m too good at it, but am improving). I have cut back alcohol consumption so that my game will improve, but I doubt that I will ever be a Doyle Brunson or a top-earning poker professional.

I have other addictions that consume immense amounts of time that I can never get back (that I will not name), but considering that 95% of the male population has one level or another of addiction to it, you can probably do the math and have the answer.

I spend half  of my wasted time on my addictions and the other half repenting (figuratively speaking). I have been to counselors, been prayed over by the elders at my church, been cajoled by my wife, prayed, and then continued to do what I don’t want to do and don’t do what I should be doing.

Is there an “out” here (Poker term for the possibility of winning a hand on the “turn” or “river”)?

In some respects I would not trade the past five years since striking out on my own to go back to having a “day job.” Yet, if things continue as they are, failure is the most likely end to this story.

Entrepreneurship is the only life I can see for me, yet I seem to be sabotaging myself almost every turn.

Oh, and I have tried the “just stop it” advice also…problem is, I can’t.

Does this have to have a “crash and burn” ending to my story before I can go up? I don’t think it should, but I’m out of answers. I don’t expect you’ll have them either, but I thought I’d see if you have any resources or know any other similarly sick individuals who’ve similar stories to mine but figured out a way to rise above the internal crap that inhabits my mind.

Kevin

Stay tuned for Part 2 tomorrow…

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