I’ve got a friend whose ever-unpredictable alpha-male dad doled out multiple forms of abuse to every single family member. In his family, sooner or later you were gonna get nailed by shrapnel cuz you could never duck at the exact right time.
His childhood was a mess and by his 20’s my friend was prone to panic attacks and self destructive behavior.
But then he started working for Mr. C. For years, Mr. C had worked in a military police combat overseas. Like dad, the guy was an alpha male “Man’s Man.” His fighting background didn’t keep him from being an even-tempered, honorable guy who was the exact opposite of dad.
My friend was telling me what a huge breath of fresh air it was to have a boss like that. How much he was growing and maturing under Mr. C’s watchful eye.
One day my friend and I were on a trip out of town with some spare time on our hands. We were walking together and talking about family stuff. I said, “I imagine just the clockwork regularity of Mr. C rolling in at 9 in the morning and bidding you good evening when you go home has been really healing for you.”
“Exactly,” he says.
Hands down, the best way to change your mental software is to get yourself a strong role model.
I had a lot of great bosses, not just one. I learned a ton of stuff from every single one of ’em: Randy Bretz, Myrna Frankle, John Leverett, Ron Houtz, Connie Husa, Wally Doctor, Fred Roediger, Mike Justice.
And you know what THEIR #1 virtue was?
PATIENCE.
With ME.
LOTS of it!
I am not being even slightly tongue in cheek when I say this. Every single one of these folks, without exception, put up with major stupidity spasms from Mr. Perry. Hey man, I’m just as unemployable as you are, and I’m lucky I’ve only gotten fired from only about 5 jobs and not 10.
Suggestion for you, right now:
Write one of those kind ex-bosses a note and express your appreciation. And seize the day.
Perry Marshall
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About the Author
Perry Marshall has launched two revolutions in sales and marketing. In Pay-Per-Click advertising, he pioneered best practices and wrote the world's best selling book on Google advertising. And he's driven the 80/20 Principle deeper than any other author, creating a new movement in business.
He is referenced across the Internet and by Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, INC and Forbes Magazine.
11 Comments on “Jobs and Bosses are Evil, Part 3”
Perry,
Thank you for your work, and mixing caring for people and serving them with the sheer economic value of what you do.
You mentioned in the last article, “Many of the best marketers I know all have some form of this kind of experience under their belt. In Part 3 I’ll tell you how most of them did it – without having a J.O.B.”
I’d love to hear that. I’m currently learning “on someone else’s dime” learning but dream of becoming a marketing consultant in the future. How do we get more in-the-trenches experience without a J.O.B?
Stay tuned for the next installment. Take on any side projects you possibly can, whether you can get money for them or not. Become a marketing maniac, radar always on for more wisdom and examples. Learn from your employer’s mistakes. You might also appreciate http://www.perrymarshall.com/marketing/findajob.pdf.
Hi Perry,
I love your somewhat concluding statement: I agree and disagree that bosses and J.O.Bs are evil. It all depends on what job and who is your boss.
All I can say is that you have done it again. You know how to push my passionate buttons. You are quickly becoming my role model too:
Here is my story about my job before kids came along:
I worked for the State of Ohio Personnel. We gave exams for positions for civil service. We made eligibility lists and worked with every state department. It was downtown Columbus, OH, just across the street from our main department store. I loved my job and my boss. She was quite a wonderful role model with great ethics and character. She saw something in me and made me her admin assistant much to the chagrin of some of my peer workers. Things changed in the atmosphere and when I gave work to my helper she turned around and put the work back on my desk and told me to do it myself. Needless to say, I didn’t know how to handle this new authority and responsibility. My attitude went south fast. I guess it spilled over to my relationship with the personnel officers in other departments. My boss had some complaints. When it came around to evaluation time, my boss had to give me some demerit marks because of my poor attitude. That crushed me, but it caused me to wake up. I immediately apologized to the other personnel officers and chose to rise above my jealous co-workers. (They were the evil part.)
My boss and I kept in touch and years later when she was in an assistant care apartment, yet could still meet me for lunch, I told her what an inspiration she had been in my life. She thanked me through her tears! Some bosses are gems in your life.
Perry,
Another great piece of dribble…I love the hidden messages in your words. Only this time it was pretty clear what the message is…
You’ve only had about 10 jobs and I’ve had 50. :)
Been fired about 20 times and quit about 30 times over the course of 10 years. There were times when I had 3 jobs in one week.
I guess I was never really meant to work for another person telling me what to do or when to go to bathroom or take a break.
I get along better with myself. Always have. And now thanks to the Internet and having you as my “strong” role model, I finally work for myself!
Marshall~
P.S. Tell Bryan I said What’s Up! He’s a hell of a guy, super smart and I appreciate his time spent helping me!
I had an awesome mentor when I first started working as a business consultant in the corporate world. His name was Bruce Raley. I still keep in touch with him today after 20 years.
And yes, I would also say his biggest virtue with me was PATIENCE.
I remember one time I screwed up really bad in front of the client and he took me aside later that day and asked me if I understood where I went wrong and what I could do different the next time.
I always appreciated that exchange. He could (and should) have fired me. Instead, he gently used it as a learning experience.
Thank you Bruce Raley!
David Frey
P.S. This video summarizes how I feel about Perry’s post and my experience. (Although I wish I could be as patient with others as Bruce was with me.)
The video -> http://bit.ly/aEIdZi
This is an interesting topic. Few years ago before starting up my own business I used to work as a project manager in Switzerland. I was given a troubled project, and it was not easy to work with people who speak 8 different languages, and with way too small budget.
I had to fight quite a few times with the management of our two mother companies (it was a joint venture company) in order to get the needed finance, tools, etc.
My boss was a fellow Finn and CEO of the joint venture company. He was incredibly straight, fast and hardworking. He was able to get things done. From him I learned to focus on one topic, work hard to get things done, and fight back with management if needed. It was a good school. I really appreciate I had the chance to work with him abroad, because I believe it was the kickstart for my entreprenial career.
Today this guy is an entrepreneur too. He holds PhD in computer science, and has a long and successful career as a R&D manager, but he decided to move to Germany and start his own car sales business. And guess what, I work with him again by driving traffic to his sales pages :)
Comment to Eric (and Perry). Too many people think it’s about being at the right place at the right time to get a break or even knowing someone (whisch can help to some degree). But actuallyit’s simpler than that; do what Perry did. Sharing your knowledge instead of keeping it a secret and using it for your self. I’ve heard a famous marketer say that you have to give to the world before you get something back from it. Perry gave and as we see the rest is history.
And then there is the flip side. Every one of us has multiple opportunities every day to make a difference in the life or day of someone else. Be it a smile in passing at the grocery store or gas station to having patience with an employee, a co-worker, a family member or a friend; just by doing ‘the next right thing’.
It is not important we ever know the result of our smile or patience. It is not an ego trip that makes it work. Getting a letter from someone we helped is nice, but hardly the reason we do it. Sending a note to someone that helped us is far more satisfying, (IMO).
I believe Happiness is a gift we give ourselves, merely by giving ourselves permission to be so. Serenity, a gift from God, whether we ‘deserve’ it or not, we only have to accept it. Joy… REAL joy is a gift we get from those we help. When we live our lives in a way that makes us available to help others, we live a joyful life. Even when we never find out the results of our efforts. The ‘being there’ is enough.
Thanks for the post,
Mark
Perry,
I had a boss like that once when I was working in a factory, before my online success.
He was always there it seemed when I’d screw up yet he never changed.
He would teach me what to do, versus yell or get ticked. In counter, I learned very quickly and expressed my appreciation.
One day in between my screw ups, he just walks up to me out of the blue and says, “Peter, you’re a scholar and a gentleman.”
Can you imagine? That has stuck with me for almost 20 years… often I wonder if he evn knows how powerful that was, and how it can shape someone’s life.
His very patience and kindness gives me strength to this day, not just in people I manage, but also as a father of a 4 year old.
I return his gift, by applying it to others in my life.
Thanks Perry, great post and agree 100%.
Peter Dunbar
Perry, I was thinking the other day about how you achieved what you did, which is quite an accomplishment. How did you go from Am-bot, naive sales guy to speaking at Ken McCarthy’s seminar, that seemed to be your big break, but before this I know you honed your skills with the company that eventually sold for $18 million.
My question, is how did the opportunity at the system seminar arise? If I had to guess it was because you were in some mastermind group, maybe Dan Kennedy or something, care to clarify?
Eric,
I’d been emailing with Ken back and forth for some time, explaining why he should move Google to the front of the line ahead of Overture as the first place to start in online marketing.
He said, “Who should I get to speak at my seminar?”
I said, “Andrew Goodman.”
Andrew turned him down. Ken came back to me and said “I think YOU should speak at my seminar.”
That’s how I got into the AdWords business.