Ari Galper is the creator of the zero-pressure sales philosophy “Unlock The Game.” I got this note from Ari today:
“You’ve been talking a lot about how much a son needs his dad’s re-assurance and approval to really grow up to be centered about himself, you’re so right about that. My dad was very much like that, used to lay in bed with me at night before I went to sleep and tell me he was proud of me. And now I do the same with my boys…thanks for re-awakening how important that is to give to our children.”
The more experience I accumulate, the more I see that the guys and gals who had their father’s blessing do well in life.
Guys and gals who don’t get that, often stumble through life with a chip on their shoulder. They flounder around in business and in relationships until they find someone who can be the dad they never had.
Most of our moms dote on us, but there’s an extra layer of confidence that we can only get from dads. Obviously this tells us a thing or two about our families, but there’s something else that’s also important:
BUSINESS MENTORS ARE FATHERS AND MOTHERS TOO.
That’s kind of scary, because “being in the information business” or “being a guru” or “being an authority” is so often sold based on advantages that have little to do with the responsibilities that come with it. Well yes, absolutely, there is an advantage to being an expert and getting the celebrity that comes with that.
But people also have a real need for guidance, mentoring and care. As opposed to hit-and-run.
Not everybody’s dad was like Ari’s dad. So they need encouragement and approval from mentors.
During the last day of my friend Tom Hoobyar’s life, numerous people called in to his hospital room. I held my speaker phone there next to his bed. I listened as they, very emotionally, told him how much his guidance had meant to them.
Tom had become their surrogate dad. Nobody asked him to, he just did it. And just like a ‘real’ dad, he was instructing them, preparing them, defending them, fighting for them. Even if they were 29 or 43 or 52 years old.
We all need dads. And most of us need to be dads to someone else.
It’s a big job.
It’s a SCARY job.
But you can’t run away from it. Cuz it’s THE job.
Seize the day.
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